Tipping/Server Rant

[mike7mm08]

Time for my old man rant even though I don't think I am old enough. First time thought it was a fluke, but now that it has happened four times all at different places time to be grumpy.

I am a rather boring guy. Other than the outdoor pursuits I enjoy getting in the truck with some good tunes picking a direction that leads to a good meal at the end of drive of an hour or two. Sometimes it's just me other times I got Mom along who don't drive. See grew up in the restaurant business and enjoys a good meal and a old school place if I can find one.

We both are very low maintenance diners. Treat the waitstaff well and tip well and always tip in cash even if paying with debit card. Last four times out have encountered what I call tip fishing and it pisses me off. A solid rounded up twenty percent tip will be for example 13 bucks. I pay cash large bills. I get change all in the largest bills possible. Smallest tip I can leave is 15 bucks as I got no singles. Did not catch it as the waitress scurried off and disappeared. Not wanting to wait I left the higher tip.

All places this has happened same thing no singles and instantly disappearing server. Come on you basically did nothing besides bring me my food. I did not run you ragged I am wanting to tip in cash and you got to try and guilt me into tipping more. Just a buck or so I will drop down. But I don't feel right when the choice is tip more or maybe tip five to ten bucks less than they deserve.

Realize things are tough and lots of restaurant workers are getting treated like crap. But don't try and set the customer up to feel obligated to tip you more. A tip is just that a tip that you earn. From me it is easy to earn. Don't ignore me let know if there is a delay and be pleasant automatic 20 percent it can go up from there.

Guess I will have to start carrying cash in strip club denominations when I go out to dinner now. :lol:

 

[blackhawknj]

I always carry as many singles as I can and at least $10.00 in coins. Makes life easier.

 

[Fox Mike]

Is the wait person also the one actually using the cash register? She/he may simply hand the bill and payment to someone else and bring back what they are given. Personally if I am low on singles I ask that I receive some with my change.

 

[Montelores]

"All places this has happened same thing no singles and instantly disappearing server."

It's great that you tip generously, most waiters and waitresses work hard and deserve it.

If you're not aware, restaurants are very understaffed at the moment (Covid and the Great Resignation), so the existing staff works even harder.

Maybe that's not apparent when you're served or at this restaurant, but it is the case almost everywhere I go, and not just in my town.

It's not clear from your story, but maybe the waiter / waitress was so rushed and harried that they didn't have time to clarify the amount that you intended to tip.

Life is pretty difficult in a lot of the working world just now.

Not criticizing, just a perspective that might shed some light.

Monty

P.S. Some restaurants now have limited hours, due completely to the inability to staff for a full day of operation.

 

[JFB]

for most of my grown up life, I just added to credit card.

Now I avoiding using CC

Most places you pay at regester, not the server.
so, go to the bank and get a strap of singles ever so often, (telling the teller I'm going to make it rain at a strip club )
I put about $10 in singles in the wallet every morning.
Also got a coin holder that is just enough for one bill

see the same thing when getting change from waiter paid places, but I came to a different conclussion. . . I think the waiter just is NOT thinking about a tip, just getting you back the change. I "think" the waiter that returns my change with mostly singles is the SMART tip fisher.

I like to pay the waiter the exact change, ask for a fill of tea and sit for a while. then leave a good tip when I get up to leave

... getting in the truck with some good tunes picking a direction that leads to a good meal at the end of drive of an hour or two. ....

I REALLY REALLY hope I can start doing that! (still don't like leaving my saftey zone)

 

[Ale-8(1)]

I "think" the waiter that returns my change with mostly singles is the SMART tip fisher.

Yep. :wink:

For what it's worth, I usually have a few "singles" in my wallet and try to tip twenty percent unless unusual circumstances dictate otherwise. If the difference between the actual twenty percent and the next five-dollar bill is only a couple of bucks I'll usually leave the five.

I figure if you can't afford a couple of bucks tip you really can't afford to eat "out". JMHO

 

[Dave P.]

Two things....
If the restaurant gave back everybody five "singles" instead of a five dollar bill they would have to have a
big pile of ones to start with. I'd think they would give change in the most efficient manor.
Second thing, if you can drive an hour or so just to eat, round the tip up and don't worry about it!
Find something worthwhile to grump about........

 

[Mega Twin]

Tipping always remind me of the time our oldest daughter was working at a small town cafe.
You always had the local farmers come in about 8am and gather up drinking coffee and talking about how busy they were and how
much they had to get done that day.
Coffee at the time was $1.50 a cup with free refills and about 10am they would start moseying out,and most of them would just leave $3 on the table to cover the coffee and the tip after being waited on for 2 hours

 

[Kevin]

We usually pay with credit card, so this isn't an issue, but it seems carrying some dollar bills would solve the problem.

 

[George]

What I always hate and it does it matter if you ordered a lot or not if this service as waiters and waitresses was good or not! Some waiters and waitresses are just looking for the money. They may be few and far in between but it does piss me off when you get a inexpensive meal or relatively so like a lunch or breakfast you pay your bill in cash and give him or her $50 and they asked you want change? I do find this more common with waiters than waitresses though! Most of them are very courteous very attentive without being obtrusive and overly attentive which is what I like. And yes they do deserve a decent tip! Yes 15 to 20% is the minimum in my opinion. These days even if you're just picking up takeout which was not the norm years ago. But this is just my feelings. It's Not Unusual to give a usually High tip just as a thank you for the somebody that does a super good job or goes out of their way to help you out in being attentive in assisting you with what you need. Not Unusual and not a bad thing to
do,do, is leave a 20 just because, or more one can afford it. Just a few thoughts of my own. George

 

[RoninPA]

Several things to comment on:

When the wife and I know we're going out to eat, I try to make sure I have some ones, fives, tens in the wallet to cover any tip I might leave.

I always tip in cash - why? because when putting it on a credit/debit card, you are assuming that the management will actually give the waitress the amount you wrote on the slip (MANY, probably most places, will NOT just take the tip amount out of the drawer and give it to the server immediately, they wait and "tally" the tip amount at the end of the shift. Also, some eateries hold the carded tips and add them into the servers weekly paycheck and of course report that to the .gov. I would rather give the server cash and let them decide what to tell the IRS. Also, some places "pool" ALL the tips and then split them between the servers, bus persons, dishwashers, etc and if a server really does a great job I will ask if they have to pool tips and if so I'll give them a little extra and tell them it is for them and no one else.

In the past, and I don't know if servers now a days even knows this, for poor service you leave a penny. That lets them know you were unhappy and they can review in their minds what they did or didn't do to deserve that tip and maybe change their behavior.

Also, situational awareness, be aware of what is going on in the restuarant, look around, see how the servers are acting and moving, if it looks like the place is full but you don't see many servers, they are probably understaffed because of whatever, take these things into consideration, it very well could be that they don't mean to neglect you it is just that they are so busy that they forget that you are one of their tables. Most places, before the past 2 years, I believe a server was responsible for about 4 tables in a busy place and the tables are not in one group (but the groupings are typically set up to make it easy for the server to watch all of their tables easily). Now, with short staffing they may be serving 6 or more.

 

[Pat-inCO]

Boy howdy, I'm sure glad so many of you make so much you can consider a
$20 tip. I live on what I was making in 1991 (think about the price difference).

What I've seen is that most wait people carry a load of small bills with them
from previous tips. If you get change that is larger bills than you want to leave,
ask the wait person if THEY can make change. Most of them will be VERY
happy to carry home larger bills (especially when it means a better tip).

Alternative is to (as mentioned above, multiple times) carry your own change.

 

[Rick Courtright]

I figure if you can't afford a couple of bucks tip you really can't afford to eat "out". JMHO

Hi,

Ale, did you used to hang out with one of my old shooting buddies, Butch?

He and most of his regular buddies always went for breakfast on Sunday mornings before going to shoot. Butch had one requirement for the server and a tip: he'd put a $10 bill on the table when the first cup of coffee was being poured. and he'd tell the server that $10 was hers/his as long as there was never an empty coffee cup among the group. Then he'd "suggest" everybody at the table leave $2 themselves. I heard him say almost exactly what you did: "If you can't put down $2 you can't afford to eat out." It was a very polite bunch, too, not one of those who try to replace bad manners with a big tip. The servers loved to see them coming and had their own way or rotating tables so everyone got a chance to wait on Butch's group.

Butch and most of his "crew" are gone now, but if he were still here, I'd bet the "No empty coffee cup" would have a twenty attached to it, and $5 would be appropriate for each person...

Back to the OP and "tip fishing": I didn't realize it was a big conspiracy to get my money. I thought it was just a bit of help for those who don't have "an app for that" (tip calculations) on their phones or can't figure percentages. There are a lot of them out there!

Rick C

 

[turd]

For us, going out to eat is a treat, and the tip is considered part of that unless service is terrible. We typically leave 20%, and usually pay by CC, so leave the appropriate tip on that. If I tip cash and don't have the change to leave the tip I want, I have no issue with asking the server to bring me change for whatever bill I have.

If you just put the money on the table, don't expect them to ask if you need change - some will, some won't. They don't always get a certain percentage, so they are likely to think you mean to tip that amount. Just ask for change.

 

[Ale-8(1)]

Boy howdy, I'm sure glad so many of you make so much you can consider a
$20 tip. I live on what I was making in 1991 (think about the price difference).

Well, that was 30 years ago. Think about what a decent meal cost back then and yes, $20 might have been too much. These days, breakfast at Big Boy's goes for like $8 so a 20% tip would be $1.60 and I have no problem rounding that up to $2 for a total expenditure of $10. Can't see leaving less than 20% and we always have the same waitress so we quite frequently bump the tips up a little, and really give her a "bonus" tip on the last "meeting" before Christmas.

A $20 tip? Yeah, for a good $100 meal and good service. But we don't do that very often. What bugs me is how easy it is to run into a $100 tab at a not-even-fancy restaurant these days. :roll:

 

[rugerguy]

always carry , or try to have some small bills for the tip and we've found around here, many want the "exact" change as there is and has been a coin and small bills shortage...ALL the convenient stores and the gas stations are asking for "small bills" AND you get as discount of you pay cash and NOT by credit card.......hmmm times they are a changing........only the youngsters put their meals on a card from what I been seeing.....hell we're lucky to even get in a place to sit down and eat, and many have "gone" bye-bye......damn covid crappola..... :x :roll: :?

 

[Kevin]

What bugs me is how easy it is to run into a $100 tab at a not-even-fancy restaurant these days. :roll:

Ain’t that the truth. When my daughter has a half day at school, I’ll take her out to lunch. It can end up being $35 real easy even at a not so fancy place.

 

[blume357]

I'm thinking or hoping that hour or more drive to the restaurant is on some nice country roads... If I did that here the first 30-45 minutes would be nothing but traffic and strip malls as we passed by multiple subdivisions with houses 8ft apart. And this is why I only go to places 5-10 minutes away. % tipping is relative, I realized that back when I was working too hard and would come home and the wife would want to go out and I would run the server ragged filling up my glass of water... seems leaving a pitcher of water on the table was against policy in most places. No charge for the water but figure out how much more it would have cost if this were something they charge for.

 

[Pat-inCO]

A $20 tip? Yeah, for a good $100 meal and good service.

You just made my point. I'm glad you make enough to afford a $100 meal. :roll:

 

[Ale-8(1)]

A $20 tip? Yeah, for a good $100 meal and good service.

You just made my point. I'm glad you make enough to afford a $100 meal. :roll:

Try going out to eat at a not-real-fancy chain sit-down restaurant with four people and see how quickly it passes $100. I didn't say I'd be picking up the tab for the whole party. :roll:

 

[Bennj1]

My wife and I always make sure to have 20s, 10s, 5s and 1s when we go out. I prefer using cash. We tip at least 20%, usually more. Most of the servers in our area will say something like "I'll be right back with your change" and we'll tell them to keep it. During these crazy times we also leave tips even if we are picking up an order. Small businesses and their help have been hit hard by this nonsense.

 

[mike7mm08]

Wow surprised at all the replies. I know I need to start carrying more small bills. Just remember the days when a server would pull out a wad of bills and make change right at the table and provide the smallest bills possible. Just a little thing in the grand scheme of things as some replies rightfully reminded me of. Got to stop sweating the small stuff. That's the point of driving to a restaurant in the middle of nowhere on two lane roads to begin with.

As mentioned we need to treat servers and all food service workers right. We always should of been but right now is even more important. Can make a huge difference. Not to blow my own horn but need to share a recent incident with a local BBQ trailer.

First off amazing BBQ second former military husband and wife that are just amazing people. As with a lot of trucks and trailers schedule varies a bit. But usually you can find them on Wednesday and Saturdays. I got food on a Wednesday as I try to do every Wednesday. Paid by debit and tipped to cover any fees for running the card. Took a couple swipes before card went through.

Jump ahead a few days. Sale never posted to my debit card. Their schedule and mine did not align for another three weeks. I ordered my food and then told their helper I had a problem with the last order and needed to speak with one of the owners. Wife came to the window frazzled wanting to know what she could do to fix my "problem",before I ever said a word to her. Told her she needed to take some more money from me to fix the "problem". I explained everything. She broke down in tears. She could not believe someone would come back and pay. I was shocked at how big of a deal that 20 bucks was to her. Doubt it was financially but it sure made her day. I did it because it was the right thing to do but I am not complaining about the free desserts that show up in my bag from time to time.

 

[Dan in MI]

Told her she needed to take some more money from me to fix the "problem". I explained everything. She broke down in tears. She could not believe someone would come back and pay. I was shocked at how big of a deal that 20 bucks was to her. Doubt it was financially but it sure made her day. I did it because it was the right thing to do but I am not complaining about the free desserts that show up in my bag from time to time.

You may well have been one of dozens that had the issue that day and they were upside down on sales for an extended period of time.

 

[Kevin]

During these crazy times we also leave tips even if we are picking up an order.

We often get take out. We started back in 2020, and its become more fun to eat at home and watch a movie.

But I certainly hope everyone tips, even on take out orders. Especially on them, it's a lot more work to box everything up, as well as the added expense of the containers.

 

[pie]

My wife and I eat breakfast out most mornings at the same restaurant. I almost always tip with $2 bills. I get them at the bank 200 or 300 at a time (when available) and keep a stash at home. Though most of the wait people there know our names we're probably also known as the $2 bill people. It's sorta become a tradition.

There was a restaurant near me some time ago that had printed on their menus, "If your waiter asks if you want change, your meal is free!"

 

[volshooter]

We don't go to any restaurant without making sure we have plenty of tip money. My daily life is all in cash so there is plenty of change in ones, fives and tens. We even tip 20 % for lackluster service as the servers will be taxed on total bill. We are glad to have restaurant servers making crap wages so please tip.

 

[BearBiologist]

I have been known to tip the bus boy more than the waiter if he deserves it. Poor service=little or no tip!

But, in our smallish town, we have regular places to: Mexican restaurants where we know the owner and speak "fisherman" Spanish and joke=know the kids, etc. have gotten so-so service but rare and usually when they are swamped or an obviously new server.

Second the remarks on take-out! Usually Friday night "date night" with a movie!

 

[Boxhead]

^^^Tight azzez^^^