So now, my Mother-in-law calls to tell me how excited she is that I am finally coming. She has arranged an ocean boat adventure "...to go fishing with Luke."
"What is a "Luke"?" I replied.
"He's Bailey's boyfriend. The one she wants to introduce you and her mother to."
The fog lifted, the seas parted and the full impact of the importance of my attendance at the beach became suddenly clear.
I have been had.
Permission granted for a new shark gun came too easy. I wasn't suspicious enough. Smug in my ability to sway my Darling wife, I had walked straight into the trap. The one laid by the most clever of opponents, women.
The three of them had concocted this little introduction in a clandestine conspiracy and Elaine had spilled the beans. If "Luke" is important enough to require my appearance, Bailey must be thoroughly smitten.
I married her mother when Bailey was still in high school. We've been pretty tight. 8 years of college in two states, with the attendant moving of furniture. Between colleges one year, one afternoon she very casually asked me if I could teach her how to shoot.
She had never expressed any interest prior to that day. I immediately replied " Sure. Let's go down in the basement. I have a bullet trap, a .22 revolver and some CB caps. ".
Her mother, my wife, was walking by and gently leaned over, and got down to my (seated) level (not my IQ level, hers is much higher than mine) gently placed her hands on either side of my face, looked deeply into into my eyes and said "Honey, we don't shoot in the house." Maintaining steady eye contact, she gently rotated my head in a side to side motion indicating a negative response, saying "Right?" at the same time. She then said "You do understand, right?" She switched the movement to an up and down, nodding motion, signifying that I understood. "We don't shoot in the house. Got it".
She grabbed her purse and headed to the garage. She said she was heading into town to the grocery store. As soon as the sound of tires on the gravel county road died away, I grabbed Bailey's hand and started down the stairs.
"What are we doing?" she asked.
"Teaching you to shoot." came the reply.
"But Mom just said we don't shoot in the house." She looked puzzled.
"Honey, that was a me and Mom 'we', not a you and me 'we'.".
The grin from her face was worth it. So began her introduction to shooting.
Fast forward seven years, she completed her degrees and internships, etc.. And is now a Doctor. When she began applying to medical facilities, she finally got down to two. One in Colorado and one in Georgia.
In discussing the one in Georgia, I put my foot down.
In my best Dad voice I said " I forbid it."
Her eyes widened in surprise. "Why?"
"Because you are going to go down there, meet some sweet-talking, slow Southern drawling, handsome, country boy and drag him home to meet Mom and me. I won't have it."
She grinned.
And took the job in Georgia.
Now, two years later, my prediction is about to come true.....