Memories

[Bob Wright]

I went to visit my sister yesterday. She's in an assisted living facility, confined to a wheelchair. Our conversationusually consists of six or eight questions she asks me and my brief answers. This for over an hour. A few weeks ago I bought a portable DVD player, the kind that parents get for their children for long road trips. I bought a digital cameera in 2004 and have transferred my photos to memory cards, and then onto DVDs. My sister, who will be 98 in March, went with us on several trips.

I told her that the DVD player was her Christmasd Gift, but I was keeping it. I showed a home made DVD yesterday and she was just s happy seeing those photos of us, Nita, our late sister, and her. We were posed in many different places, and I do believe some recollection came to her.

She commented, "We really had some good times, didn't we?"

I thank God each night for the good times we had, and those lasting memories.

Incidentally, this sister has been on six of the seven continents, all fifty states, and fired a genuine AK-47.


Don't know why Iposted this here, but just had to get it out.

Bob Wright

 

[eveled]

She is lucky to have you. Having a relative with memory loss is very difficult.

 

[Danjet500]

Bob, after reading many of your life stories, I have come to the realization that you have been blessed in this life and by that blessing, you are now returning all that love and more. You are a good man.

 

[Kevin]

That’s a great story especially at Christmas time.

 

[Snake45]

Sounds as good as a Chevy truck commercial. Have you tried taking her for a ride in a 1972 Suburban?

 

[jimbo1096]

Bob, I lost my sister last year and I didn’t realize how sick she had become. She lives in a different city and I would go up to visit her as often as I could until the last couple of months.
I’ve began to realize how she was beginning to slip. She still lived in the house. We grew up in and where my dad had passed away but one day she was found on the floor by a friend and we had to put her in the hospital. She only lasted two weeks and during that time we talked about some of the trips that she made, and some of the places we had gone. Now that I’ve lost her I realize how much of my family history was embedded with her. Spend as much time as you can with your sister and share as many memories as you can. Even if she doesn’t remember, by you sharing it with her you reinforce that memory with yourself.
God bless you and have a merry Christmas.

 

[vito]

Alzheimer's Disease, and similar other dementia disorders, rob the person not only of their memories, but of the very essence that makes them who they are. And sometimes if it is happening in a loved one, we don't see it happening because we don't want to see it. I worked the last 23 years of my working life as a Nursing Home Administrator, and by far the largest portion of those that we cared for long term were those suffering from dementia disorders. I, more than most, should have been triggered when my own Mom started slipping. But in part, I was so proud of her still living in her own apartment and functioning independently at 96 years old that I failed to see what was really happening. When a bad fall led to her going into a nursing home, and my brother and I were cleaning out her apartment, the signs of confusion and forgetfullness of dementia were all too obvious. Food put into cabinets rather than the refrigerator. Spoiled food in the frig. Soiled clothing mixed in with clean clothing. Clothing hung on furniture rather than in a closet (because once in a closet the person forgets where they put it, but openly hung on a chair or dresser it can still be found). Valuables "hidden" in odd but not secure places. She eventually passed from the effects of dementia at just short of 104 years old, but for the last 3 years of her life she was just a physical shell of what she had been.

I wrote the above not as a lament over the passing of my mother, but as a gentle warning for everyone reading this who has really elderly or cognitively diminished relatives or friends. Try to pick up on the signs of advancing dementia even if that forces you to accept what you wish were not the case. Don't allow your unconscious unwillingness to see what is happening to lead to potentially fatal results in someone you care for.

 

[contender]

vito is right. We often do not want to accept our own beloved parent as someone who may be afflicted with a slow but horrible loss of memory or abilities.
Long, long ago,, I lived with a CNA who was working in an assisted care facility when we met. I helped her get through nursing school, and she always worked in assisted care. She did a he** of a job in caring for the residents. During that time,, I got deeply exposed to life in those places & how the quality of a residents previous life had been. I got exposed to the slow death as well.
I like to think that God put us together long enough to teach me how to understand & accept what would eventually happen to my parents,, and most recently, Miss Penny's mom.

Bob's life has been blessed & full,,, and he has embraced the Good Lord as his guide for his life. He has shown, over & over,, how he shares the good in life,, and appreciates his blessings. This story by him above is just another very good one.

You are blessed Bob. Merry Christmas.