I really think it's a problem of expectations more than anything.
Flying now is cheaper than it was when flying commercially first became a reality. Then it was a luxury and so of course, you were treated in a very different way. Probably the difference between walking into a Ford dealership and walking into a Bentley dealership. Right now I can fly to Reykjavik from Pittsburgh for $200. That's insane. For that price, I should not expect many luxuries. I'm paying for me to get from here to there. Just like if I went on a car lot and got a base Ford Focus, it's not going to have all the bells and whistles. I should not complain when what I want to pay for something doesn't include everything.
Now flying is not a luxury at it's core. In fact it's a necessity for alot of people. That doesn't mean it can't be luxurious, but if you are expecting what you paid for circa 1970 for the exact same price or cheaper now, you're just being unrealistic. If you want the luxuries, pay for them. Get a first class ticket, get into the flyer's club for the airline and enjoy it. If you are looking for the cheapest possible flights from here to there, don't expect to get first class accommodations. I don't see how that is unreasonable. Flying has changed. You can now get to alot more places, for less money. That's not a bad thing. If you have unrealistic expectations and expect to be treated like you are flying luxury for the cheapest ticket possible, I don't think you're being rational.
As far as 911 and the TSA, that's not really on airlines and at this point that's been going on for over a decade. You can get TSA pre check and if you know what you are doing, you can get through rather quickly without much hassle.
I have my complaints about airlines and don't fly very frequently, but anymore when I do fly I try my best to book Southwest. They are without a doubt, the most pleasant airline to fly with. Usually the staff on flight are very happy and professional. They have a pretty straight forward boarding and fee structure. To date I have not had any issues with them, which I can't say for pretty much every other airline.