Treating people kindly

[Kevin]

I should start by saying I'm certainly no saint.

The other thread about cutting in line makes me wonder. How many people here will do something nice for a stranger? Quite often, I let people cut in front of me at the grocery store checkout lane. Especially if it's some mother with unruly kids or the like. I'm usually not in a hurry....

But one thing I try to do with my daughter, is, from time to time, when we go through the drive-thru at Starbucks, is pay for the coffee for the car behind us. To show my daughter a small act like that might really cheer someone up and brighten their day. We talk about it after, and try to guess what type of person was in the car behind us, etc. It doesn't cost very much and, I hope, it's a good moral lesson for my daughter.

Anyone else?

 

[contender]

I agree that kindness to strangers can be very rewarding. It's also commendable, and especially if you teach others to be the same way. Many of us here try to be good people like that.

But,,, the cutting in line thing,,, I want to comment here about a form of that,, in relation to your post.

In traffic. Lots of traffic,,, people lined up,,, waiting on a red light to change & allow them to progress. And a parking lot or whatever has a car wanting in the traffic. Often,, we see people stop to let others in line.
Nice gesture right? Courteous right?

What about the people behind you? Are you being courteous to them? You do not know them either,, and many times they are in need of moving as quickly as they can to get to an appointment, a job, or whatever. Especially if your actions cause people behind you to get stuck, yet again, under the red light. A mother on the way to pick up a child. A student on the way to class. A new employee on the way to work. And while the gesture is nice,, when this is done,, it disrupts the flow of traffic,,, which slows down a lot of people. So,, by being courteous to one,,, you are discourteous to many others.

Thoughts?

 

[wunbe]

We occasionally pick up tabs for groups of LEOs, servicemen, families with well behaved kids, anonymously ...

Also have had someone pick up the breakfast tab for our Friday AM vets breakfast...

And this in a big urban environment.

Don't recall doing it for migrant New Yorkers whatever their persuasion...

Trump comes by his jerk behavior honestly given his Big Apple roots.

wunbe

 

[Selena]

I remember one of the "grandmothers" at my church (may she rest in peace) who's favorite greeting to visitors or new parishioners was "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."
Or my uncle saying (usually after doing something for a tourist broke down somewhere) - "if you can't help out your neighbors once in a while where is the sense of having them?"

Or my much loved and missed grandfather who would tell his grand-children repeatedly and with great emphasis the modified line from some hokey movie he was addicted to- "Always be good to everybody if only to show the SOB you are a nicer person than they are."

 

[Dave P.]

when this is done,, it disrupts the flow of traffic,,, which slows down a lot of people. So,, by being courteous to one,,, you are discourteous to many others.

Thoughts?

I'm selectively nice. If they're making a right turn, have no better option out of the
parking lot and traffic is going pretty much nowhere, I'll let em out.
If there's an exit to a cross street with a signal or obvious better choices, it
ain't happening.
Dave

 

[bogus bill]

We live in great ATV riding country. When you are on the trails people generally take care of other riders they see. Might have something to do with break downs. You can get in serious trouble if you are far off the highway. I have had my butt saved several times and done the same to others. It`s not like driving the freeway and seeing someone broke down where you can assume another thousand cars can stop in a hour. Here you might get 40 or 50 miles back in from your truck and trailer. It`s smart to ride with others but most of us take our chances alone quite a bit. I was riding with a guy once and he hit a rock and knocked out his oil drain plug. I towed him about 12 miles back to our rigs. Another time I broke a drive belt and was helped. Another time we tipped over and was pinned. Luckly we were riding with two other couples that lifted our ATV off us. Another time I hit a deer and in the process blew a tire. We were about 35 miles from our rig and it was a cold night. In mountainous terrain just two miles can be a disaster if you happen to be riding with the gout and I have. Cell phones usually dont work here in the boonies.

 

[Kevin]

Contender.
Yes, you have a valid point. I think in regards to driving, it’s most kind to simply drive according to the rules of the road, just keep traffic moving and it’s best for everyone around you.

At the grocery store, I’ll pay more attention to that the next time I let someone cut in, make sure no one else is behind me.

Good point though.

 

[Tallbald]

Over the years, Penny and I have developed the habit of thanking our restaurant servers, trash pick-up folks, toll booth operators and folks working in grocery store just for being there and doing their job. A moment of thanks to those who are basically seldom thanked is free to offer, may touch a heart that needs touching and let's another person know they "matter" to a stranger. The other day during a sudden downpour I approached an older man's car with my meager umbrella, as we arrived at Gordon Food Service moments apart. I exclaimed loudly (his window was closed of course) "IT GOT PRETTY HUMID ON US DIDN'T IT!", and together we made the less-wet trip to the door under cover. He seemed to appreciate the gesture. I use caution of course doing this as I'm a rather intimidating looking fellow at 6 feet 4 inches and 255 pounds with a shaved head and ear ring. But doors held, appropriate thanks, or a smile are good things to give freely.
Don.

 

[Bob Wright]

Kevin,

I met you once face-to-face, and you are indeed first class.


Bob Wright

 

[gramps]

My former girlfriend felt I didn’t let enough people into moving traffic, my boss thinks one is too many! I have been known to pay for another’s meal-single divorced father eating out with his small son(I knew them as the family had been my patients for years). OTOH I was eating out locally in a restaurant by myself, entertaining myself doing research on MEDSCAPE. When I left, I was told that a group of four had paid my meal tab! Wow! Yep, it has been passed forward. Life is a big bank. We put in and take out what we need in different currencies. Common courtesy is the lubricant of life. IMO
gramps

 

[JFB]

as for picking up the tab for someone else....

I was having a muffin and coffee while waiting for my connecting flight as noticed a young mother with probably a 4/5 YO in tears as the waitress was talking to her. The waitress came back by me on her way to get a manager and told me the woman's CC had been rejected, she had no cash and her connection was being boarded.

I ask what the bill was..."Ice Tea and glass of milk". So I told the waitress I would take care of it. The woman thanked me with a wet kiss and ran to catch her flight.

the bill was $30!!!.

she had several Long Island Ice Teas!

 

[Jeepnik]

I have to say it seems more of a generational thing. More mature folks tend to be more courteous. Perhaps it's the way they were raised, or just that they've learned politeness as they aged.

 

[bogus bill]

I was going into a restaurant to have coffee with my usual guys. A older black woman stopped me and said she needed gas money to go pick up her children at school. Buddy Bob was watching me and after I gave her some money he gave me a horse laugh and said, "Ya fool there aint no school today, it`s labor day!"

 

[Wyandot Jim]

In a SMALL TOWN.
In 2005/2006 Son was deployed to Afghanistan as an Naval Aviator Grunt at Camp Blackhorse, a Marine Base North of Kabul. Yea the Marines and Army were running short on people at that time. Anyhowwwwwwwwwwwww I was at the post office in our small town and telling the PO Guy who was a retired Marine the situation with Son and his Guys.
This is what you do in a small town PO since nobody is in a hurry and only one other customer talking to the other PO Guy.
Well when I came out of the PO the other customer handed me a phone call credit card and told me to send it to my Son and the troops to use. Yea it was for $100.00 phone charges on it.
Only in a small Texas Town :wink: :wink:

 

[bogus bill]

I was at a do it yourself car wash and a black girl came over to help me wipe it down. She said she was hungry and would do anything for a buck. I didn't comment then she asked me was I married? No. Did I have a girl friend? With that I handed her a ten and told her to go get something to eat.

 

[blackhawknj]

IMHO it's a matter of upbringing. In my youth I met plenty of ''senior citizens" who never learnt their manners and could have used a trip to the woodshed, now that I am a "senior citizen" I still keep running into them.

 

[Colonialgirl]

Trump comes by his jerk behavior honestly given his Big Apple roots.

wunbe

Maybe you should do a little research and DISCOVER the truth about President Trump and his truly generous nature. NOT a "jerk" by ANY stretch of the imagination.

 

[Mobuck]

I hold doors and help folks if needed. Once I made a special effort to open and hold a door for a guy in a wheelchair and he cussed me but I just walked away. Having had a disabled person in my family, I can understand some just feel that way.
I don't buy meals often but I have offered to buy drunk's a meal when they asked for money since I knew well enough they would take whatever $$ and buy liquor.
I was at the counter of a Burger King one day and the guy in front of me was trying to order food. After going through his pockets, he was still short of even the econo menu I normally order so catching the BK girl's eye, I held up a couple $$ and nodded toward the guy. She winked but next thing I notice the construction workers in line have huddled around the guy and added his meal to their order(s). They saw it same as I did so if the guy was a freeloader, he'd fooled all of us. When he sat at their table I was convinced he really did need the help cause if they called him out it wasn't going to end well.

 

[wunbe]

Colonial girl,

I'm not saying what's in his heart . Its how all too often he acts in public -- elbowing lesser statesmen out of the way to get into the camera's eye, for example. That's pure Homus Newyorkus.

I voted for him and will again and support much of what he does but he goes full jerk once in a while.

wunbe

 

[bogus bill]

President Trump does have some actions or things about him that I don't admire, yet I am convinced he`s God`s man of the hour to save, turn around or delay this country from armageddon for awhile. If ANY democrat was elected president at this point I believe we would be soon pushed in a civil war, and ultimately the second coming as they all for sure seem to be wanting to destroy this country, and bring us down to the third world gutter. The modern day demoncrats have used socialist schooled young impressionable dupes and the run of the mill ignorant level young fools that are mainly interested in disruption for their entertainment purposes. They just babble nonsense, believe and repeat lies of their paid professional handlers and want to raise hell. How or why would any halfway intelligent adult swallow the demoncrat party line is beyond me but I can see that they have to be blinded and led by the devil himself is the only explanation.
All one should need judge for themselves is to observe the lying immoral type people the demoncrat party draws. A party that champions killing millions by abortion, rewards sluggards, wants to use Illegals to get in power, legalize drugs, tried to bar Trumps appointees with lies and false charges, on and on. When you see the top rat demoncrats like Schumer, Feinstein, Warren, Pelosi etc that should tell the dumbest something.

 

[jgt]

You never know how a gesture is going to be taken. When I bought a new Chevy Cruz back in 2011 it had the Sirius XM radio package as part of the deal. I was listening to willies roadhouse as I was turning into the parking lot of the local grocery store one day soon after. When I found an empty parking space there was a car in the space next to it. A young lady had the door partially open on the passenger side so I stopped. Being retired and enjoying my air conditioning and vintage tunes, I was in no hurry. A couple of other young ladies brought a wheel chair around and she got into it. At that point I was thankful I had been so blessed that my only inconvenience was to wait a short while to park. Once they were on their way and clear of the space I began to pull on into the empty one. That is when the young lady turned in her chair and saluted me with her social finger.

 

[Taterman]

A young girl (divorced) recently moved in across the street with her 8 year old son. We met her briefly while she was still in the process of repainting the house. Two weeks ago, me and my wife made a big batch of vegetable soup and I thought it would be nice to bring hersome in a tupperware container. She said she loves soup and we all chatted for about 15 minutes.
She never said "thanks, the soup was good" or even returned the tupperware and it's been two weeks. And she's been outside while we were out the too. Oh well...

 

[Fox Mike]

Contender.
Yes, you have a valid point. I think in regards to driving, it’s most kind to simply drive according to the rules of the road, just keep traffic moving and it’s best for everyone around you.

At the grocery store, I’ll pay more attention to that the next time I let someone cut in, make sure no one else is behind me.

Good point though.

A good point BUT, if letting one car make a turn or letting one car in line makes someone late for an appointment or picking a child up then that person has some serious planning skills. Perhaps they should have left earlier. If it is required that I be a certain place at a certain time I plan ahead so I will generally arrive early. If someone is being courteous to someone else it will not adversely affect my plans.

 

[blackhawknj]

There is the story of Phillip Stanhope, Lord Chesterfield. He became known as the paradigm of manners and good breeding.
One day while walking down the street in London, one of his servants approached him and asked for instructions for a task. Chesterfield told the man what to do, then stepped off the sidewalk to let him pass. Chesterfield 's companion, another nobleman said:
"Why did you step into the street to let that man pass ? He is no gentleman!"
"No, but I am."

 

[contender]

FM,, I fully agree that many folks need to make sure to plan properly to be wherever they need to be on time & allow for delays. I used the examples as that,, just a few of the many examples out there as to why you should not stop to let someone out.
More importantly,,, is the fact that a good samaritan, may also cause a wreck behind them due to an unexpected stoppage by a car in front of them when they are moving, looking at a green light,, and suddenly find the car in front of them stops. Who gets blamed? Not the good samaritan, as they most likely didn't even see the wreck behind them. Not the person who had to stop because of the samaritan,,, but the person who gets the ticket will be the one who was moving,,, and following the flow, and hit the car in front of them. The legal point is that they were either too close, or not paying enough attention, or My main point is the disruption of the flow of traffic,,. That's why traffic lights were invented, to keep the flow, and allow everyone a chance to go in a timely manner.

I brought this up,,, as I recently saw something like this happen. A 4 lane road,,, heavy traffic, both lanes full,,, stopped at a red light. A wally world & shopping area on the right,,, a gas station on the left. A car wanted out of the gas station. The light changed,, traffic started moving. About 11-12 cars went forward, the traffic was moving. Suddenly a car stopped to let the car out of the gas station,, and a few cars skidded to a stop. The car that got out,, AND then cut immediately into the other lane,, to go to wally world. The far lane had to slam on their brakes,, and a guy just ahead of me, to my right,, hit the car in front who had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of them. The car that allowed the gas station car out,, drove on, oblivious to the accident. The car that cut everybody off,, went into the wally world parking lot,, and the accident was several cars back.

I had my dash camera on,, so I pulled turned left,, went around,, and got into the parking lot away from the accident. I then went to the driver of the car who hit the car from behind,, and gave him my info,, and let him know I had it all on camera. His insurance agency has already contacted me wanting that micro SD card.

I try hard to be polite,, courteous,, and helpful to as many people as I can. But there are laws,, and there is common sense. In traffic,,, there are lights & such to assist folks in being safe & getting into & out of traffic. The idiot who got out,, and then cut across into another lane could have EASILY gone a different direction, gotten out AND crossed over the intersection w/o causing an accident. All it would have taken is for them to make a bit of a circle,, and go through 2 lights,,, by basically going around the block, and entering the wally world lot from an easier access. They didn't want to do that. Apparently wally world had something they needed so badly, and was selling out in nano seconds to where they had to cause a wreck to get it.

The good samaritan was oblivious to all of it. And in my way of thinking,,, they were not a good samaritan,,, BECAUSE of the problems they caused to two others in the wreck. Being nice is fine,, if it only affects you & the other person. When you are nice to one,, you are not being nice to many others in these types of situations.

 

[Fox Mike]

Seriously? You are blaming the actions of a jerk driver on the actions of someone being polite. That is like blaming WWII on Adolf Hitler's father. After all, if he hadn't had relations with his wife Adolf wouldn't have been born.

 

[turd]

when this is done,, it disrupts the flow of traffic,,, which slows down a lot of people. So,, by being courteous to one,,, you are discourteous to many others.

Thoughts?

I'm selectively nice. If they're making a right turn, have no better option out of the
parking lot and traffic is going pretty much nowhere, I'll let em out.
If there's an exit to a cross street with a signal or obvious better choices, it
ain't happening.
Dave

This.

 

[ronto]

Two cars traveling in opposite directions met in the middle of a narrow bridge. One driver yelled out his window "I don't back up for jerks.", the other driver replied "I do" and backed off the bridge to allow the other driver to pass.

 

[Colonialgirl]

Seriously? You are blaming the actions of a jerk driver on the actions of someone being polite. That is like blaming WWII on Adolf Hitler's father. After all, if he hadn't had relations with his wife Adolf wouldn't have been born.

Frank;
WHO was he being "polite TOO?" the idiot wanting out of the gas station? Sorry, apparently VERY impolite to the people behind him and then too he allowed a jerk out to cut across the lane and ultimately cause an accident behind him

 

[Fox Mike]

Seriously? You are blaming the actions of a jerk driver on the actions of someone being polite. That is like blaming WWII on Adolf Hitler's father. After all, if he hadn't had relations with his wife Adolf wouldn't have been born.

Frank;
WHO was he being "polite TOO?" the idiot wanting out of the gas station? Sorry, apparently VERY impolite to the people behind him and then too he allowed a jerk out to cut across the lane and ultimately cause an accident behind him

I am not advocating traveling down the highway and locking up the brakes to let someone enter the highway. If I am already stopped and someone can be let out of a street or lot I will do so. So being polite and allowing someone to exit requires knowing the intentions of the driver you are being polite to? Sorry, you all can continue to be self centered and self serving. Personally I will continue to be polite when I see the need. I will sleep well knowing that I am not a jerk.