They're back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!
Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences actually appeared in church
bulletins or were announced at church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
-----------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans,
bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
-----------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'
The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus'
-----------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
-----------------
Don't let worry kill you off
- let the Church help.
-----------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again', giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
-----------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
-----------------
Next Thursday there will be
try-outs for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
-----------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were
married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
-----------------
At the evening service tonight,
the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
-----------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed
due to the addition of several new members
and the deterioration of some older ones.
-----------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
-----------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
-----------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -
prayer and medication to follow.
-----------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
-----------------
This evening at 7PM there will be a hymn
singing in the park across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
-----------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
-----------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
-----------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
-----------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
-----------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's
new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'
(y)
