And that's when the fight started....

[Bear Paw Jack]

HER: You're not even listening to me are you!?!?!?!?

HIM: Well that's a pretty odd way to start a conversation!

.............................................

HER: I have a bag of old clothes to take to goodwill.

HIM: Why don't you just throw them in the trash?

HER: 'Cause there are thousands of starving people that could use them.

HIM: Honey, if your clothes fit them, they ain't starvin'

And that's when the fight started....

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..

 

[hdxr750]

I always get a Good Laugh from those "And then the fight started".

 

[Fox Mike]

Should have a coffee warning! Stolen and passed along.

 

[Pal Val]

Him: What's that stuff on your face?

Her: It's wrinkle cream. I've been using it for a month. See any results?

Him: I surely do. You have at least six new wrinkles in your face.

And that's when the fight started...

 

[Pistolero]

LOL!

 

[SR1911SHOOTER]

Bear Paw,
I do not let my wife read your jokes, because she has a tendency to hit me instead of laughing.
Blackie

 

[eveled]

Does this dress make me look fat............

Just pretend you didn't hear her and walk away. There is no right answer.

 

[Busterswoodshop]

She said she lost a couple pounds.
I said " check your back pockets . "

 

[bogus bill]

The first thing most of us learn when we get married is no woman has a sense of humor.

 

[RSIno1]

The first thing most of us learn when we get married is no woman has a sense of humor.

Hit your thumb with a hammer or fall off a ladder - you'll find out you are wrong.

 

[wolfsong]

She tried on a new dress and asked me "Honey, does this dress look good on me?" I looked at her and replied "Sweetheart, nothing looks good on you."

That's when the lovin' started.

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

Wolfie, you sweet talking son of a gun!!!! :mrgreen:

 

[Justice B. Swift]

True story: Last summer when it was about a 100° here, my wife bought a box of "Nutty buddy" ice-cream bars. She hid them in the garage freezer to "keep them from the kids" (translation keep them to herself). One afternoon she comes stroll'n in from the garage with one in hand, partially eaten and lick'n her lips. I says to her "man, I haven't had one of those in years. Looks great! Think I'll have one! She chuckles and says "sorry... last one". Now I say to her "say honey... you might just as well stick that in your back pocket". "Why's that?" She says. And I say " It's going to end up stuck to your a-- anyway!" And thats when the fight started....

 

[Mobuck]

The wife comes home late and tells the husband she'd spent 2 hours and $100 at the "beauty shop" (local speak for the hair dresser). Husband suggests she go back the next day and ask for a refund cause it didn't work.
AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED.

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

Some men are way to brave!!!

 

[bogus bill]

My wife is 17 years younger than me and can do a few things better. She was in the garage on a ladder getting something off a storage ledge above the roll up garage door. I came out without thinking and pressed the button to roll open the door. Sure was funny! The door swept her backwards off the ladder!