A question on manners

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contender

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I was raised to remove my hat when I sit to eat. I do so at home, or out in a restaurant. Tonight,,, Miss Penny & I went to an Olive Garden,, and we saw exactly 2 other gentlemen remove their hats. However, I saw at least a dozen or more male types who sat through their dinner & never removed their hat.
Is it wrong to wonder why so many men do not remove their hats when they sit to eat?

What's the consensus here?
 

Viking Queen

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Apr 29, 2011
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Northern Colorado
I believe that many people have not been taught "hat ettiquite" along with other manners. Although, there is also a general lack of civility these days as well, or so I have come to believe......sigh.

Viking Queen
 

H.H. Hipshot

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Part of the problem is that restaurants no longer have hat racks, so where do you put your hat? I remember while growing up that most booths at cafes had hat racks.

Putting your hat on the floor is not a good idea. Sitting on it is not a good idea. My hat won't stay on my lap while eating.

About the only other choice these days is to leave your hat in the car, and if you do that, what is the purpose of having a hat in the first place?

HHH (who would take his hat off if there were some place safe to hang it.)
 
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H.H. Hipshot said:
Part of the problem is that restaurants no longer have hat racks, so where do you put your hat? I remember while growing up that most booths at cafes had hat racks.

Putting your hat on the floor is not a good idea. Sitting on it is not a good idea. My hat won't stay on my lap while eating.

About the only other choice these days is to leave your hat in the car, and if you do that, what is the purpose of having a hat in the first place?

HHH (who would take his hat off if there were some place safe to hang it.)

Yep, very few restaurants have a suitable place to put a hat. When it's just the two of us, and we're sitting at a table for four, then I put my hat in an unused chair. If it's a table for two, or if there's four of us at a table for four, then again, there's nowhere to put a hat. There are times I will return to the car just to put my hat there while I'm eating. And etiquette is so ingrained in me, I cannot eat with my hat on.

WAYNO.
 

contender

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I will agree that we need more hat racks in restaurants. However,,, I'm usually wearing a ball cap vs a cowboy hat. I place my hat in a different chair, OR in the seat next to me in my booth.
However, in the Olive Garden,,, there was a hat rack in two different corners,,,, empty.
It was easier to put my hat on the seat beside me.
One of the two guys that did remove his hat,, (a cowboy hat,) placed his in the seat beside him as well.

One of the reasons I ask this is that it's Saturday night, and for many it's "date night." To me,, showing manners & respect for our "date" is just one of the many things that seems to be lost nowadays.
 

tinman

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You are correct.....it is called manners. Hats off indoors, holding the door for others, picking up an item dropped by someone else, etc. In my world they are still important. My counsel to students has always been to treat people just as nice as they will let you. I expect the same from my children, because they will never see me do otherwise. I have been known to pay the bill for a family whose children exhibit good behavior in public..... the only caveat being the server tells the parents why it happened but not who did it.
 

Hugh

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About that hat. I learned as a child that when you come into someone's home, a place of worship, or restaurant, you remove your hat. In the service I learned the same thing, further, unless under arms, you remove your cover when entering officers' country, a dining area, a place of worship, or sick bay.

As a rule, when I am wearing a cover, the moment I step inside any place, the cover comes off. In an eating establishment the cover lands on the seat beside me. Ladies in civilian clothing wear their head covering inside most places, ladies/women in military uniform remove their uniform cover just like other members of the armed forces.

At my house, if you want to keep your hat on, you can stand on the porch. A couple of my nephews didn't like that idea but did remove their hats. I'll put it in the closet for you.
 

Galaxiedan

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I'm 42 and wasn't taught most of the "old school" manners growing up. I would guess the hat wearers didn't realize it wasn't good manners. BTW I remove my ball cap (fits on my knee) when I dine in a nicer type restaurant. Don't worry about it too much if I'm at Burger King.
 

wolfsong

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It is acceptable to wear your "shade" in a dance hall, a saloon and a wh*re house. All other indoor locations demand that you remove your hat. At least that's what my father taught me. I'd like to think he was winging it on the wh*re house etiquette and not speaking from experience...
 

Mike J

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Etiquette/manners does not seem to be as important now as in times past. People don't dress up like they used to. When I was growing up men might speak any way they cared to around other men but a man would be careful of his speech around women. Respect just is not taught as it once was. I myself am guilty of the hat thing if I stop in at the Huddle House on the way home from work. About the only time I wear a hat is when I am going to or going from work (I have to wear a hard hat while there).
 

radicalrod

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Well I tucked my hair up under my hat and went in to ask them why :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

I would rather see a hat than their pants hanging below there azzes......RR
 

Rick Courtright

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Hi,

I was taught the same thing as I think the late Alabama coach, Paul "Bear" Bryant, was: when a man's indoors, the hat comes off. I don't recall any exceptions.

I mention Bear Bryant because he was famous for the trademark hat he always wore on the field:

220px-Bear_Bryant.jpg


There was a story which went around back then that when The Tide played in a covered stadium the first time, Coach Bryant took off his hat, on the field, something he'd never done before. Someone asked him why he did that. "Because we're indoors" was the reply!

As for the rest of our manners, I'll admit that much of what my Momma and a couple of others tried to teach me didn't stick, so this could be a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, but I'd still have to say referring to the average American's manners these days as "boorish" might be a compliment compared to what they'd have been 50, 75 and 100 years ago...

A perfect example of this came out of Washington, DC, when the Clintons first got to the White House. One of the big businesses in that town seems to be teaching all the newbies, from the President, Cabinet members, ambassadors, staff members, and spouses thru untold numbers of others on down the line, all the "proper etiquette" and protocols required of their jobs. I saw a TV show about that subject, where one of the more famous etiquette coaches in town was interviewed. She was asked about the greatest challenges of working with the whole crowd of "outsiders" coming in from Arkansas. She thought for a second, then answered "Trying to teach them not to eat with their feet!"

And just an aside on holding doors, next time one of you guys holds a door for a lady and she doesn't acknowledge it, just wait until she's through the door then cheerfully say "You're welcome, Ma'am!" and see what reaction you get! It might be surprising how many ladies out there suffer the same thing I do: they were taught better than they act! I've probably been lucky in that I haven't gotten the "chauvinist" lecture, because it's quite likely I'd forget anything I learned about how a gentleman talks to a lady if I did... :oops:

Rick C
 

cadillo

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East Alabama
I wear a ball cap everywhere I go except for church due to hair loss. My head sunburns and gets cold. When I sit down at a restaurant, I place it on my right knee where it nestles nicely until I get up to leave.

What really twists my noodle is the number of young males, I won't dignify them by calling them men, who wear a hat during church service, and the fact that the pastors these days accept it without a whimper, I suppose in the spirit of political correctness.

No "Man" of character would display the arrogance of wearing a hat in God's house!

The country's headed for haydees in a hand basket.
 

Colonialgirl

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And just an aside on holding doors, next time one of you guys holds a door for a lady and she doesn't acknowledge it, just wait until she's through the door then cheerfully say "You're welcome, Ma'am!" and see what reaction you get! It might be surprising how many ladies out there suffer the same thing I do: they were taught better than they act! I've probably been lucky in that I haven't gotten the "chauvinist" lecture, because it's quite likely I'd forget anything I learned about how a gentleman talks to a lady if I did... :oops:

When someone holds the door for me, Be they Male or Female, Adult or Child, I Always say "Thank You". At the same time if the door opens out and I'm getting ready to enter when someone is leaving, I WILL hold the door open for them.
Now about hats, I Do wear my "baseball cap" indoors; It's nice dark blue mesh fabric with a larger open pattern and a finer inner mesh; The bill is leather and has a Blue band of the same fabric as the hat and the word "ARMY" in white on it. The front of the hat has an United States Army patch and then I've added an "US" collar brass on the right side of the seal side and an "Artillery" collar brass on the left side. Just above the "Army" patch, I have added a round RUGER "Made IN THE USA" pin.
yeah, I admit it; I'm proud of my service time and I'm proud that my Dad was a 20 year Navy Man.
 

prairieviper

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Feb 23, 2007
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Central USA - Cornfields & Cows
It is just a sign of the times and a change in our culture; past versus present. There was a time when most men wore hats (not ball caps) but today, you will hardly ever see a man wearing a formal dress hat. Proper etiquette, though it still applies, is no longer taught when it comes to hats, holding doors for ladies, the man walking curbside and a host of other things.

Take the tradition of men walking curbside as an example. That custom originated in a day when women needed to be protected from the hazards of horses and buggies passing on the street. While it is still a chivalrous gesture, most men today do not do this, women do not expect it and neither sex likely even knows about it.

Times change, sometimes for the better and sometimes not.
 

375supermag

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Jan 1, 2013
Messages
499
Hi...

I only wear a hat when I am hunting, at work(hard hat) or pretending to be a cowboy.

Never wear ball caps since I quit playing baseball and softball.

I have noticed that a lot of guys wear their hats in restaurants. I guess they don't have hat racks anymore...sort of like they don't have a place to hang your gunbelt in restaurants, anymore. Society changes and not always for the better.
 

olcop

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Dec 4, 2011
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I'm 74 years old and grew up in the era when virtually every man wore a fedora, I got an early lesson in hat/cap etiquette from the older men around me, but, I also got a lasting lesson from my Grandmother, which has stuck with me for the last 60+ years::If you came into her house with a hat on, she would say (somewhat sarcastically) "take off your hat and stay awhile", and you ignored her at great peril, because if you didn't immediately remove it, she would knock it off with whatever she had in her hand at the time, broom, mop, spatula, whatever---and, if you have ever been caught up beside the head with the business end of a broom, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
olcop
 

Robes

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West Michigan
Get your cover off indoors..... If there is not a hat rack...adapt and overcome. I open AND close the car door for my bride. I open doors for ladies. When I introduce myself to a lady, I remove my hat. I will also tip my brim for a casual hello.

It was instilled in me when I was growing up. Almost automatic....
 

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