Today I have to take my 14 year old dog to the vet for the last time. He's been a gentle, good dog his whole life. But just like with humans, as he has aged he has lost his physical control, and at 50 pounds I just can't keep spending hours a day cleaning up his waste that he drops around the house. Our vet has said he's not sick, just an old dog. He's been an indoor dog his whole life but we thought maybe we could let him live outside in a nice doghouse but that hasn't worked. He won't use the dog house and just stands and moans and cries all day and night wanting to come in. Worst of all, for me, is that when he poops he always seems to walk right in the mess, and cleaning his feet, or trying to, is harder than cleaning the carpet, which is why we can't let him back into the house. So today is the day. I've been through this a few times before during my life, and it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. He is my internet namesake (I use his name as my online name) and I will miss him. I already feel guilty for what I have to do. And then when it is done, I have to tell my children and my grandchildren, many of whom have had Vito a part of their life since they were born. Even my other dog, who is only 1, seems to be aware of what is happening and is confused and upset. Part of me feels like I never want to get another dog and then someday have to face doing this yet again. Just writing all this has made me feel a little better, but I'm not sure why.