Man brings his dog into a bar and says he has a talking dog. Not believed, he says he'll bet $50.00 that he can. The bar tender takes him up on the bet. "Tell them, Spot, who's the best baseball player of all time." Spot responds, "Roof." "There, you heard him. He said it was Babe Ruth. Now pay me my $50.00." The bar tender calls BS, demands his $50.00 and unceremoniously tosses him and his dog out the door. On their way home the dog turns to his master and asks, "Should I have said Mickey Mantle?"
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Guy sees a sign in the yard of a farm house, "Talking Dog - $10". Intrigued, he drives up to the house and asks the farmer if his dog really could talk. So the farmer turns to the dog and says, "Jake, tell the man about yourself."
So Jake, the dog, says to the man. "Well, I started out as a bomb sniffing dog in the military and did two deployments to Iraq. I discovered dozens of IED's and saved the lives of my unit countless times. After I retired from that I became a rescue dog, finding victims of earthquakes and so forth. I've been to Turkey, China and Japan and personally found over fifty people trapped beneath rubble. Now that I'm getting older my master has me at stud and I get $1000 per session. My pups have won over 25 regional and national championships."
The man looks at the farmer incredulously and says, "this dog is amazing! Why are you selling him for only $10?!"
The farmer leans in toward the man and whispers to him, "he's a compulsive liar, he ain't never done any of them things...."
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A traveling salesman goes up to a farmhouse where a dog and cat are sitting on the front porch. The salesman reaches down and scratches the dog's ears and says, "how are you, fella?" The dog looks at him and says, "I'm fine, how are you?"
The salesman is flabbergasted at seeing a talking dog and asks him to say something else. So the dog replies, "What do you want me to talk about? Weather's been good, we're getting enough rain and the crops are healthy." Then he gets up and says, " well, it's been nice chatting with you but I hear my master calling", and he trots off.
At that moment the farmer opens his front door and the salesman is still shaken up. He says to the farmer "I can't believe it! You have a talking dog! You should go into show business, you could make a million dollars!"
The farmer just shakes his head and smiles. "Did they pull that joke on you, too? Mister, that dog can't talk. The cat's a ventriloquist..."
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Guy sees a sign in the yard of a farm house, "Talking Dog - $10". Intrigued, he drives up to the house and asks the farmer if his dog really could talk. So the farmer turns to the dog and says, "Jake, tell the man about yourself."
So Jake, the dog, says to the man. "Well, I started out as a bomb sniffing dog in the military and did two deployments to Iraq. I discovered dozens of IED's and saved the lives of my unit countless times. After I retired from that I became a rescue dog, finding victims of earthquakes and so forth. I've been to Turkey, China and Japan and personally found over fifty people trapped beneath rubble. Now that I'm getting older my master has me at stud and I get $1000 per session. My pups have won over 25 regional and national championships."
The man looks at the farmer incredulously and says, "this dog is amazing! Why are you selling him for only $10?!"
The farmer leans in toward the man and whispers to him, "he's a compulsive liar, he ain't never done any of them things...."
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A traveling salesman goes up to a farmhouse where a dog and cat are sitting on the front porch. The salesman reaches down and scratches the dog's ears and says, "how are you, fella?" The dog looks at him and says, "I'm fine, how are you?"
The salesman is flabbergasted at seeing a talking dog and asks him to say something else. So the dog replies, "What do you want me to talk about? Weather's been good, we're getting enough rain and the crops are healthy." Then he gets up and says, " well, it's been nice chatting with you but I hear my master calling", and he trots off.
At that moment the farmer opens his front door and the salesman is still shaken up. He says to the farmer "I can't believe it! You have a talking dog! You should go into show business, you could make a million dollars!"
The farmer just shakes his head and smiles. "Did they pull that joke on you, too? Mister, that dog can't talk. The cat's a ventriloquist..."
