Some thoughts for the new year.

[Fox Mike]

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.

I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... That makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege

 

[contender]

 

[willk]

Great start for the day

 

[Wyandot Jim]

 

[George Tucker]

Amen Amen Amen.

 

[Jim Puke]

THAT is GREAT stuff...I like it!

 

[sfhogman]

Oh, well done!

Jeff

 

[Hole Shooter]

Too funny!! Thanks for the laughs!
hs

 

[parpat]

good ones !!
thanks

 

[6gun]

:lol: those are all good and this one is certainly the truth:
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? :lol:

 

[RoninPA]

Those were good Frank. I like changing the bathroom name, think I'll start doing that

 

[Colonialgirl]

OH; I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT; I'm STEALING IT to forward to friends and family.