"No contact" trend?

41Dude

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New term to me. Found out our eldest grandson has decided to "no contact" since about Thanksgiving.
I just heard yesterday the term he is using.
Nothing catastrophic going on he just needs some space.
It is creating a ripple effect with the family that I am not sure how to handle. :(
Anyone have any experience with this?
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kids need to be guided. they dont get to tell grown ups what to do until they leave home.
take charge, yank his chain and tell him how the cow eats the cabbage.
do you have any idea how dangerous it is when a kid shuts off family? and then he gets to put in his mind what he wants?
if he wants no contact, go the distance and take away his smart phone, tv, going out, everything.
tell him its to help him.
then, start putting healthy things in his mind.
TAKE HIM TO CHURCH and pray for him every day.
create snail mail from church groups and evangelists. make him feel like he can be part of something bigger and healthy.
when i was in the navy, my catholic grandmother sent me (the daily bread) booklet. a verse a day with a story. it was free. look into it.
 
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I haven't heard from my brother in probably 25+ years; last time we spoke, he had just gotten divorced from his fifth wife. I'm dying to know what his "score" is today.. He didn't even "leave" in a huff; nobody knows why........ Guess he's just pissed about something. If the 'grandson' is over 18, his reasons are his own business IMHO. If he's underage, I can't help you; no idea.

J.
 
If he is telling everyone he's going no contact, then he wants attention.
Best thing you can do is just let it roll. Don't call him, don't contact him, wait for him to beg for help, because he will.

This is one of the stupid Instagram, social media driven things that kids now do because they are so much smarter than we ever were.
 
Kevin has a good point.

"I would be willing to bet everyone here has someone they no longer speak with"

In my family,, decades ago,, my sister told our brother that he needed mental health treatment because he was divorcing his wife. She accused him of being whacko & all because of Vietnam. She refused to listen to his side of "why" he was getting a divorce. Over the years,, it became apparent to the rest of the family, yet she never apologized or admitted her mistake. The day she said that to him, he said to her; "If you really believe that, then we no longer need to talk to each other."
She is very narcissistic, and refuses to even consider herself wrong. To this day,, she can't understand why he doesn't want any contact with her. Even when confronted with the reason,, she doesn't believe it. She refuses to listen to anything that doesn't fit into her beliefs.
And about a year ago,, I was in the hospital, and Miss Penny let the family know what was going on. Penny told my brother & sister that she'd keep them updated. My brother wanted to talk to me,, "When I could" and was told to call on a Sunday. He respected that & did as asked. Our sister,, refused to listen to Penny. She kept saying; "I just want to hear his voice." Well, she called me when I was in the middle of something, and it was just a few hours after Penny had given her an update. I hit the answer button, and immediately cussed her out saying to leave me alone. She didn't get in a word before I hung up on her. She got to hear my voice. Not the way she wanted to. She later told Penny that I hurt her feelings. Penny told her AGAIN,, that she had not respected my wishes, AND that she refused to accept that she (Penny) would keep her informed. I haven't spoken to our sister much since, as I told her that she was the reason why.

But younger adults.
I also have a granddaughter who chose to remove herself from the family & be around her "birth-ROSIE" who is a waste of good O2. She chose a very different lifestyle,, and chose to do a no contact attitude to us. It's been 5 years now,, and she did call her Dad a few months before her step-mother died. She wanted a lunch or dinner meeting,, but refused to want her step-mother there. Her Dad refused,, because her step-mother had been a great mother figure, and done a lot for her. Then her step-mother died,, and she did come to the celebration of life service, as well as the social afterwards. But since then,, only a short text to her Dad on Christmas.
Due to her behavior, and lifestyle,, none of the family trusts her at this time. She chose the "no contact" because we all promote a Christian lifestyle, morals & values. We require work & not an entitlement attitude.

As such,, the current trend to do a "no contact" with family does seem to be more prevalent in younger adults,, but it has been going on forever. Social media seems to promote it in the younger people a lot more though.
 
I think most families are dysfunctional in one way or another. I always thought it was 'other people' that had issues, but most of us do. There is a reason he has become 'no contact', but you may never find out or be given a chance to correct the situation. I have a nephew that has a very poor relationship with my sister and his siblings. He refuses to believe that he is the problem, so it will never go away. He continually says everyone involved needs counseling, but not him. What can you do? He needs to figure it out on his own, you will never change his mind.

Sorry you are having to be a part of this.
 
Both @peachhead and @contender mention social media helping to perpetuate the trend. They are spot on. My daughter's school tries very hard to get the kids to do anything other than read and post on Instagram and what not. That age group doesn't do Facebook anymore. That one is too old fashioned. There are some others besides Instagram, but I don't know them.

For a while I read reddit. It's full of this, and almost everyone who writes back tells the other original author to "go no contract" Either that or get a divorce. It's just people being anonymous and they think they can get away with it. Or they are so lonely themselves, they want other people to be miserable as well? Reddit is simply thousands of people shouting at each other. Very, little constructive dialog happens on it.

I gave up on Reddit and I'm happy to say my daughter and her best friend both stopped using Instagram. Although she still reads it occasionally but doesn't post anything anymore.

Those social media sites are a huge waste of time.

I would also bet money this family member of the OP is active on several social media sites.
 
If he is telling everyone he's going no contact, then he wants attention.
Best thing you can do is just let it roll. Don't call him, don't contact him, wait for him to beg for help, because he will.

This is one of the stupid Instagram, social media driven things that kids now do because they are so much smarter than we ever were.
Yeah , this 👍. 👍. 👍
 
Never heard that description. Never did it with family, but I just call them write-offs. If someone doesn't care, I don't waste time with them and write them off. Kind of like ghosting, but they know why.
 
New term to me. Found out our eldest grandson has decided to "no contact" since about Thanksgiving.
I just heard yesterday the term he is using.
Nothing catastrophic going on he just needs some space.
It is creating a ripple effect with the family that I am not sure how to handle. :(
Anyone have any experience with this?View attachment 93848
Often they feel you have turned on them, treated them wrongly, because you did not give them something they wanted, like for instance, a monthly allowance to purchase a new house, or new car. They feel you owe them. It’s part of being woke. Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing we can do about it. If they have to make it on their own, maybe they start to see the light. I know people in my age range who are giving in to their kids and grandkids, allowing their 50 year olds to move back in, or buying homes for their grandkids. I kid you not.
 
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