Colonialgirl
Hawkeye
Four women are driving across the country together, each one from a different state: Idaho,
Nebraska, Montana, and California. Shortly after the trip begins, the woman from Idaho
pulls potatoes from her bag and throws them out the window. "What are you doing?" asks the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these things in Idaho, I'm sick of looking at them."
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn from her bag
and tosses them from the window. "What are you doing?" asks the gal from Montana.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them."
Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out.
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There is an airplane.
The passengers are a German,Frenchman, Englishman, Mexican and a Texan.
The pilot calls back and says we're going down. We need to jettison some weight.
They throw out all the luggage and anything not bolted down.
The pilot calls back and says we almost have it. Just a little bit more.
There is nothing left to throw out, so the Englishman says ,"God Save the Queen" and jumps.
The pilot says just a little more. The Frenchman says"Viva la France" and jumps.
The pilot calls back just a little more. The German says, "Glory to the Fatherland" and jumps.
The pilot says we are just about there.
The Texan gets up and says,"Remember the Alamo"............and throws the Mexican out.
===============================================================
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm. The man says,
"Beer, please, and one for the road."
===================================================================================
In the old west a cowboy gives a warning at the bar,"Black Bart is coming."
Most of the cowboys leave.
Pretty soon a rough looking cowboy comes through the door(without bothering to open it),
throws a man off of the bar stool. shoots the piano player for not playing a song he liked
and grabs the bartender by the collar, yanks him over the bar and says,"Give me a whisky
and make it quick, Black Bart is coming and I don't want to be here when he arrives".
=================================================================================
Doctor Jones likes to stop at a bar after work and enjoy an almond daiquiri.
One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses hickory nuts instead.
The doctor takes a sip and says, "Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?"
And Dick says, "It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."
Nebraska, Montana, and California. Shortly after the trip begins, the woman from Idaho
pulls potatoes from her bag and throws them out the window. "What are you doing?" asks the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these things in Idaho, I'm sick of looking at them."
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn from her bag
and tosses them from the window. "What are you doing?" asks the gal from Montana.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them."
Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out.
===========================================================================
There is an airplane.
The passengers are a German,Frenchman, Englishman, Mexican and a Texan.
The pilot calls back and says we're going down. We need to jettison some weight.
They throw out all the luggage and anything not bolted down.
The pilot calls back and says we almost have it. Just a little bit more.
There is nothing left to throw out, so the Englishman says ,"God Save the Queen" and jumps.
The pilot says just a little more. The Frenchman says"Viva la France" and jumps.
The pilot calls back just a little more. The German says, "Glory to the Fatherland" and jumps.
The pilot says we are just about there.
The Texan gets up and says,"Remember the Alamo"............and throws the Mexican out.
===============================================================
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm. The man says,
"Beer, please, and one for the road."
===================================================================================
In the old west a cowboy gives a warning at the bar,"Black Bart is coming."
Most of the cowboys leave.
Pretty soon a rough looking cowboy comes through the door(without bothering to open it),
throws a man off of the bar stool. shoots the piano player for not playing a song he liked
and grabs the bartender by the collar, yanks him over the bar and says,"Give me a whisky
and make it quick, Black Bart is coming and I don't want to be here when he arrives".
=================================================================================
Doctor Jones likes to stop at a bar after work and enjoy an almond daiquiri.
One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses hickory nuts instead.
The doctor takes a sip and says, "Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?"
And Dick says, "It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."
