Massage

[Pyromike]

Lets keep this clean. My wife bought me a gift cert at Christmas for a 1 hour massage (NO HAPPY ENDING). This is a legit place in my small town and I've been here before. Full body, deep tissue, and she can find more knots, tight muscles, etc. than I ever imagined. She does an awesome job. So as I'm laying face down, I start to think what if I have to use the restroom. #1 I can hold but I felt some pressure building. Do you excuse yourself (carrying the sheet with you) and take a few minutes (of course this comes off your massage time), or hold it in and pray for not a fart.

Of course I'm not in panic mode as of yet but all options are running though my mind. What are your options? I've already given her the coupon w/ tip and thinking grab my clothes and ????

Luckily I thought ahead of the massage and 'disposed of' everything but as I'm lying on the table I'm feeling pressure and don't want to get into panic mode. I was able to work through it; made it home and all was good.

I was afraid she would massage something and force a 'gas bubble' to escape.

Any other experience or recommendations? I'm home relaxing with my water and ready for a nap.

Stay Strong!
Mike

 

[TestEngineer]

My only experience with massages was in Shanghai China. The 1st time I went there, I noticed that the customer contact never wanted to go out for drinks before dinner. It wasn't until my 2nd time there that I learned he was going to a massage parlor near to the hotel. He invited me to go with him.

$5 US for one hour, or $7 US for two hours. The parlor owners kept half, and the girl giving the message kept half. We always went for the two hour version and gave the girls $10 and had them keep the change.

THEY LOVED US!!

At first, just touching my muscles was pretty painful. But after several weeks of daily messages, they could have jumped onto my back from 10 feet up and I wouldn't have felt a thing. Messages are AWESOME, but I can't afford them here in the US.

 

[ArizonaTea123]

In the Philippines a massage can either be with or without "sensation". Depends on how many dollars you have.
All you old navy vets should know about this

 

[RC44Mag]

I know nothing in my Sgt Schultz voice

 

[XUSNORDIE]

$5 US for one hour, or $7 US for two hours.

Break that down into Peso's and you have long time and short time........sometimes with a complimentary San Magoo...;)

 

[Watertender]

I was getting a chiropractic adjustment one time and let a fart that literally blew the doctor across the room. It was rotten and we both started laughing so hard that he had to go to another patient to let the cloud disperse and regain his composure. He came back with a clothespin on his nose and we both lost it again. We were laughing so hard that the receptionist wondered what the joke was.

 

[ArizonaTea123]

Yes, before getting a massage or seeing a chiropractor, definitely go to the bathroom first. Nothing like trying to hold in a 60psi fart for 30 minutes.

 

[GypsmJim]

I'm sorry I viewed this thread.

 

[Watertender]

Yes, before getting a massage or seeing a chiropractor, definitely go to the bathroom first. Nothing like trying to hold in a 60psi fart for 30 minutes.

60psi? That's low pressure compared to some of the blasts that I can muster up!

 

[Kevin]

Lets keep this clean. My wife bought me a gift cert at Christmas for a 1 hour massage (NO HAPPY ENDING). This is a legit place in my small town and I've been here before. Full body, deep tissue, and she can find more knots, tight muscles, etc. than I ever imagined. She does an awesome job. So as I'm laying face down, I start to think what if I have to use the restroom. #1 I can hold but I felt some pressure building. Do you excuse yourself (carrying the sheet with you) and take a few minutes (of course this comes off your massage time), or hold it in and pray for not a fart.

Of course I'm not in panic mode as of yet but all options are running though my mind. What are your options? I've already given her the coupon w/ tip and thinking grab my clothes and ????

Luckily I thought ahead of the massage and 'disposed of' everything but as I'm lying on the table I'm feeling pressure and don't want to get into panic mode. I was able to work through it; made it home and all was good.

I was afraid she would massage something and force a 'gas bubble' to escape.

Any other experience or recommendations? I'm home relaxing with my water and ready for a nap.

Stay Strong!
Mike

I go to a massage school. Everything is above board. It’s clean and honest. You could take your grandmother.

The best part is a two hour massage is only $60. I haven’t been in a while but I usually go once a week. And tipping is NOT allowed.

The bad part is it’s usually a new student each time.

And after you go a while you start to sleep better at night, you have more energy in the daytime, you just feel better.

 

[coach]

Never had a full body massage but had a physical therapist that could work out the knots in my neck and shoulders. I was always amazed how he could find them and work on them. A small copay and insurance covered the rest.

 

[sfhogman]

Northern Thailand, 1972.
Great massage, happy ending. Still not worth the involuntary trip over there.
Ah, memories...

 

[Justice B. Swift]

Somehow I thought this was a family show! Lol. Wasn't expecting this. "Magical Fruit" indeed...

 

[41Dude]

Nothing to do with gas. Had an issue at the Happy Hands Emporium. Things were going fine until the police showed up, arrested me and took away the rubber chicken, plastic wrap and chandelier.

 

[blume357]

has nothing to do with a massage... but 5 years ago when they were pulling that very small pump back out of my femoral artery it was all I could do to hold the pee in, in fact it was pretty much a miracle. The doc. had put a small dish rag over me and he said it was for privacy but I'm sure it was so I would not spray the room.

 

[41Dude]

has nothing to do with a massage... but 5 years ago when they were pulling that very small pump back out of my femoral artery it was all I could do to hold the pee in, in fact it was pretty much a miracle. The doc. had put a small dish rag over me and he said it was for privacy but I'm sure it was so I would not spray the room.

Same thing with me years ago. They had to remove a tumor from my neck. (benign) Had to run catheter up artery for the dye they use for a clear picture. Nurses are awesome, all business, had some small towels handy.

 

[tazbigdog]

Before I retired, we had one come in…$1 a minute. I started with 1/2 hour, and next time, jumped it to an hour. Sat in a chair or face down on a portable table. Knots in my back were gone. Instant relief. Well worth it.

 

[Sam Summey]

In the highlands of Vietnam we called it the "steam and cream". Far extra 2 dolla massage all ova!

 

[Pyromike]

I love the responses! By the time I got back in my truck I had to roll down the windows to release the pressure.

Kevin - $60 for 2 hours??!! I pay $80 for an hour. No school near me or I would be there twice a week at that price. I did notice my neck and shoulders are a little stiff this morning.
Stay Strong everyone and enjoy a massage!
M/

 

[sfhogman]

In the highlands of Vietnam we called it the "steam and cream". Far extra 2 dolla massage all ova!

I remember that...also called an "air start".

 

[jav]

I never had a massage in town but I always have one when we go to Mexico at the resort last time I did a foot massage man that feels great

 

[Lt92]

Lets keep this clean. My wife bought me a gift cert at Christmas for a 1 hour massage (NO HAPPY ENDING). This is a legit place in my small town and I've been here before. Full body, deep tissue, and she can find more knots, tight muscles, etc. than I ever imagined. She does an awesome job. So as I'm laying face down, I start to think what if I have to use the restroom. #1 I can hold but I felt some pressure building. Do you excuse yourself (carrying the sheet with you) and take a few minutes (of course this comes off your massage time), or hold it in and pray for not a fart.

Of course I'm not in panic mode as of yet but all options are running though my mind. What are your options? I've already given her the coupon w/ tip and thinking grab my clothes and ????

Luckily I thought ahead of the massage and 'disposed of' everything but as I'm lying on the table I'm feeling pressure and don't want to get into panic mode. I was able to work through it; made it home and all was good.

I was afraid she would massage something and force a 'gas bubble' to escape.

Any other experience or recommendations? I'm home relaxing with my water and ready for a nap.

Stay Strong!
Mike

Was married to a master massage therapist for 42 yrs. When prepping for the table, one should empty ones bladder first, however it is not gauche to simply advise you need to hit the head....the therapist will give you a towel or whatever and simply wait until you return

 

[larry8]

Yes, I sure miss the 4-to-5-hour massage I used to get in Taiwan. You get a little girl that is with you the entire time and she does everything (no happy ending, but I didn't actually inquire about it). She undresses you puts you in the shower and washes you all over, dries you off then on the table for the message. After the message she takes you to the steam room for a few minutes, then to the hot tub, then another shower. During all this time all your clothes were cleaned and ironed perfectly. Then she dresses you and you have to pay her the $30 + tip. You feel like a million bucks when you leave. I really miss those messages.

 

[Johnnu2]

Yes, I sure miss the 4-to-5-hour massage I used to get in Taiwan. You get a little girl that is with you the entire time and she does everything (no happy ending, but I didn't actually inquire about it). She undresses you puts you in the shower and washes you all over, dries you off then on the table for the message. After the message she takes you to the steam room for a few minutes, then to the hot tub, then another shower. During all this time all your clothes were cleaned and ironed perfectly. Then she dresses you and you have to pay her the $30 + tip. You feel like a million bucks when you leave. I really miss those messages.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE....!!!!

J.

 

[epags]

My loving spouse order an in house masseuse for my birthday.
I had many thoughts about how erortic that might be.
OLGA arrived and gave me a DEEP muscle massage that left me feeling like a bulldozer had run over me (twice). Then OLGA tried to upsell us on some herbal drink.
Don't know what my loving (I think) paid but told her that it was a wonderful experience but don't bother doing it again.

 

[redhawker]

A light massage is good, but I've had one, and only one, deep tissue massage in my life, and that will definitely be the one and only I ever have. I was sore all over for a week after that.

 

[roylt]

I didn't read it all but common sense says go before you go...

Also I was 48 before I found out about forearm massages. My girlfriend just started rubbing my arm as we sat on the couch watching a movie and it was sooo good. Just strikes me as a place not normally associated with massage. I suggest anyone that hasn't had it give it a try.