Man, am I going to have some fun this evening, tomorrow, too!

[Cholo]

Actually, starting in about 30 minutes. Colonoscopy time again! LOL Has it really been 10 years since I went thru this joyous experience? What a blast, no pun intended, it was! Back then they gave me about 10 gallons of a clear swill to drink the day before. It's quite effective! Just about the time I'd say--are you serious I'd take off running again. But wait, there's more!

They couldn't knock me out. The Dr. was already 8' in when the nurse waved her hand in front of my face and whispered if I was still awake. Yes blah blah blah. She gave me a 2nd IV dose, nothing. She went to give me a 3rd dose and I said to forget it blah blah blah. Luckily I had no polyps!

This time? Good grief! It's a 7 day ordeal. No supplements, no nuts or seeds (all the bread I eat) no raw vegetables, no alcohol, don't eat this, don't eat that. Do you know what all these "don'ts" mean to me? I want it! I want a loaded burger and a 32 oz. beer! I wouldn't have thought about it if they didn't tell me I couldn't have it.

They don't give you the jug of swill that Rotor-Rooters you from appetite to a**hole anymore. You fast all day and starting at 4pm, as in 30 minutes ago as I write this, you mix 4.1 oz. of Miralax, which is about 2,000 normal doses, in 32 oz. of blue Gatorade. Take one hour to drink it then take not one but three Duralax pills! I'm so full of X you'll be able to fit me in a match box!

I don't know how I'm supposed to sleep, and I have to get up at 4am and do the drink all over again. Why they need me at the hospital 2 hours before the procedure is beyond me.

I got to thinking, who woke up one day and said: You know, I want to be a Colonoscapist when I grow up, or whatever you call those doctors. I want to spend the rest of my life shoving a scope up someone's ***.

Anyway, if I post anything after about 30 minutes from now it might take me a couple of hours to finish a paragraph

Oh, the joy...

 

[nekvermont]

Those sausage McMuffins taste like heaven after a colonoscopy.

Good luck to you.

 

[Mike J]

Dang, sorry man. I had one of those once. Not a good time.

 

[Cholo]

Those sausage McMuffins taste like heaven after a colonoscopy.

Good luck to you.

Thanks! I told my daughter, who's taking me, I'll take her and the kids out to her favorite restaurant afterwards. I like it, too.

Dang, sorry man. I had one of those once. Not a good time.

Ahhh, I'm just having a little fun with it, Mike J, but thanks.

 

[Dan in MI]

It's getting close to time for mine too. The prep for my recent one wasn't nearly as bad as 40 years ago.

I must admit I had fun in the recovery room. Probably 10 patients just separated by curtains. Little tiny squeaks here and there around the room and nurse says I can't leave til I give them back some the air they pumped in. That was all I needed to hear. Ships around the globe were thinking fog was rolling in, but I got to leave.

 

[turd]

Thar she blows! Been there, done that. Best part is, its only once every TEN years. If I make it to the next one, I'll be grinning all the way to the bathroom!

 

[Big Old Boy]

Just think tomorrow you'll be rooting tooting for us !

 

[Ride1949]

I've found them to be a real pain in the ***. Good luck to you Cholo. I hope everything comes out okay.

 

[T.A. WORKMAN]

After I had colon surgery I had to take one yearly for three years. Now once every other year, with one coming up
in about a month. Stay Strong!!

 

[Dave P.]

Wet baby wipes or a bidet are your friends.
You might not want to eat chicken soup for a while....

 

[Ale-8(1)]

Why they need me at the hospital 2 hours before the procedure is beyond m

Maybe it's to be sure you're, uh, empty.

 

[tazbigdog]

Sorry dude! I just went through my second one too. Doc said my ass was as clean as a whistle. No issues. He said see me in 5, I said 10, he said 5, I said 10. We'll see.

 

[ProfessorWes]

Every five years for me, and my last one was just over a year ago. At least the laxative mix this last time was drinkable, although the fecal JATO launches were as miserable as ever.

You do have the good drugs to look forward to, so there's that.

 

[Cholo]

The MiraLax mixed with Gatorade only tasted like, um, Gatorade. It had no bad taste whatsoever.

What do they give you now to knock you out? 10 years ago it literally didn't do anything at all after 2 injections into my IV tube. I could have climbed off the table and gone for a motorcycle ride.

Surely they can do better this time. At least I hope so.

 

[Johnnu2]

My last one was just a couple of years ago.... just two bottles of liquid something.... poop all night... On the table, IV in place...nighty nite. All done; Carvel sundae is the reward. Easy peasy except for the pooping....it's really tiring after 75.

God Speed Cholo..!!!

J.

 

[WendyZXZ]

Hoping that all will turn out well for you...in the end! I combined the serious wish with a bit of humor. Good luck and hope there are no troubles.

My husband had to get one a number of years ago. When they were putting him under he requested mood music...Dueling Banjos. When he was revived he asked if they located his brain.

 

[volshooter]

I'm on a three-year schedule. I don't find the prep bothersome at all. I go liquid diet 3 days before prep. Was half awake for first one, didn't like that. I have more problems with the crap they give you to put you out. Makes me doubt everything I do for a couple of days. Tried reloading a few .38 spc day after and tried putting bullets in backwards.
Like doc said " some folks are just more full of it".
Heard a many horror stories of massive bathroom visits but I never experienced any. At least I don't have to self enema like days of old!

 

[noahmercy]

I'm due, and it certainly isn't a highlight of my life. But I will say this: I give thanks to the Lord that there are men and women willing to do the job. Seriously. I am thankful for those willing to do jobs that a large portion of the population find distasteful or "gross". Without them, the world would be lot worse than it is.

 

[Fox Mike]

Thar she blows! Been there, done that. Best part is, its only once every TEN years. If I make it to the next one, I'll be grinning all the way to the bathroom!

What he ^ said. BTW, chili is not what you want for a first meal afterward.

 

[nekvermont]

I was surprised to learn that Fentanyl is sometimes used as the sedative.