Interservice rivalry joke............

[Bob Wright]

My post regarding Jody and subsequent responses reminded me of a current joke regarding present military life:

An Army lieutenant enters a burger establishment:

Lt: "I'd like to use your latrine."

Burger flipper: "We don't have a latrine, and I wasn't in the Army!"

Lt: "What branch of service were you in?"

BF: "I served in the Air Force."

Lt. : "Then I'd like to use your powder room."


Bob Wright


P.S. I hasten to add this was posted in fun. My brother and sister were both Air Force veterans from WW II. My brother served with the Eighth Air Force in England, and my sister taught instrument flying at Brooks Field, Texas. My cousin served with the Eighth Air Force too, the 78th Fighter Group, and retired from the USAF. And our close friend was killed over Germany as pilot of a B-17.
Needless to say, I do respect the Air Force, and all others who served, no matter when, where, or which uniform they wore.

 

[Jeepnik]

Or, I was in the USAF, we had indoor plumbing. Would you like to use the restroom, sir.

Contrary to popular believe Airedales do respect rank. It's just that most USAF officers (of the flying type) know who they are and don't need constant reminding by enlisted types.

Let's see if we can keep this thread going. :mrgreen:

 

[radicalrod]

My friends Grandpa was in the MARINES.....a department of the NAVY.....

He says it is the MEN'S DEPARTMENT :lol: :lol: :lol: RR

 

[loaded round]

I wasn't allowed to join the marines, my parents were married!

 

[Jeepnik]

You know, my family on both sides until my dad were all USN. Many career.

My dad was USA during WWII. He advised against the USA, others against the USN. Mostly for living conditions. So I enlisted in the USAF.

Apparently I was much less successful with my own kids as they enlisted in the USMC. Which proves common sense often skips a generation. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

 

[Heliman]

My friends Grandpa was in the MARINES.....a department of the NAVY.....

He says it is the MEN'S DEPARTMENT :lol: :lol: :lol: RR

Being a Navy vet and working with many Marines I have heard this one many times. Oh, and by the way, they were working for me..... :wink:

Dave

 

[Bob Wright]

My late brother-in-law was from a small town in Tennessee but moved to Nashville bdfore the War broke out. Facing the draft, friends (?) encouraged him to enlist. They told him, "Johnny, if you go into the Army, you'll sleep in mud and never know when your next meal will be. But if you go into the Navy, you'll always have a good bed and hot meals on time."

So he joined the Navy.

They put him in the Marines, he ended up on Bougainville and slept in the mud and never knew when he's get another hot meal. Same for Guam and Iwo Jima.

Bob Wright

 

[wwb]

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language.

For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building":

The Army will post guards around the place.

The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.

The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.

The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

 

[wwb]

And this one is for Gunny Gene.....

An Army Ranger was on leave in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures. One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"

 

[Colonialgirl]

Another oldie:

The Air Force teaches to WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE URINATING
The NAVY teaches to WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER URINATING
The Marines teach Urinate on your hands , it saves time :roll:
And the army says WHAT ?? :?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink: :mrgreen:

 

[GP100]

Marine stands for,

My
Ass
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment

8)

 

[Colonialgirl]

Marine stands for,

My
Ass
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment

8)

When I sold papers on the Navy bases (4th Grade, Millington, TN; 5th Grade, Jacksonville FL South Side airbase) some of the best tippers were Marines !!

 

[wunbe]

While entering an Embassy abroad I overheard an AF attache passing the marine guard ask his cohort " How do marines warn of incoming attacks by enemy aircraft?"

Then he points to the sky and gives a pretty good series of cave man grunts.

The marine guard flipped open his sidearm holster.

wunbe

 

[GP100]

Marine stands for,

My
Ass
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment

8)

When I sold papers on the Navy bases (4th Grade, Millington, TN; 5th Grade, Jacksonville FL South Side airbase) some of the best tippers were Marines !!

Damn Straight! The few, The proud, The Marines. Always and forever..

 

[pete44ru]

And this one is for Gunny Gene.....

An Army Ranger was on leave in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures. One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"

Now, that's funny, right there - I don't care who you are ! :mrgreen:

(I was 8th Air Force)

.

 

[blume357]

I sent it to a friend who is a retired Gunnery Sgt.... I titled it a 'Blond' marine joke.

 

[GunnyGene]

Wanna start a fight? Ask a SEAL if he'll balance a ball on his nose and clap. :wink:

 

[2sheriffs]

I think you got that backwards about the Navy. The Navy taught us how to pee without peeing on our hands.

 

[GP100]

Wanna start a fight? Ask a SEAL if he'll balance a ball on his nose and clap. :wink:

I actually saw this happen once in a bar years ago in California.. Some guy dressed in an Army uniform that had a few to many, started a fight with a seal using that very joke.. The end result was two broken noses, a smashed beer bottle over one guy's head, and a broken table and several chairs.. Of course several of us scattered and got the hell outta there before we got mixed up in the fight.. Which eventually turned into a free for all brawl that wound up spilling out onto the street. :lol:

It wasn't pretty to say the least..

It appears there has always been rivalry through the different services.. As a result, I've witnessed many a fight between Marines and Army dogs. Seems, they love to hate each other for some odd reason..

 

[wunbe]

Its also an attitude issue. Memories from 55 years ago when assigned to Monterey Army Language School I made my first and only trip to San Diego.

From @ 2300 onward into the wee hours fo a Sunday morning, there were young marine slick sleeves fresh from basic school on nearly every corner, They had the brims of their hats an inch over the nose and gave off quite obvious signs of after 'drink taken' looking for a fight becuz there was little or no real chance at the other outlet for overflowing testosterone about a foot deep.

A cohort's tale of getting swept up in a bar fight there with marines and being held for a few days in the old marine brig in San Diego. He said the experience "made a Christian" of him and he indeed never wavered far from the straight and narrow again as far as I know.

wunbe

 

[graygun]

The Marines are taught that all the other guys are wusses.

 

[Jeepnik]

The Marines are taught that all the other guys are wusses.

Funny, I know a "former" Marine that thinks Army Apache pilots are the greatest folks in the world. Then again, when he was pinned down from above and no one else was available a couple of Apaches came in and unloaded on the bad guys. Apparently there wasn't a whole lot left when they climbed up to take a look.

 

[SAJohn]

If you ever see an Explosives Ordnance Disposal (EOD) Marine with his hands covering his ears while he stomps the ground with his foot, back away fast. He is hunting for land mines.

 

[Colonialgirl]

I was in the Army, BUT if I was ever in a serious battle, I would be happiest with a MARINE sharing my fox hole !!

 

[GunnyGene]

I was in the Army, BUT if I was ever in a serious battle, I would be happiest with a MARINE sharing my fox hole !!

You sure? 'Cause unlike the Army, Marines don't stay in foxholes very long. Usually not long enough to be worth digging them. We're an offensive force, not a defensive force.

 

[Fox Mike]

Just remember that Marines and circuses are alike. Yep! If you have seen one you have seen them all.

 

[callshot]

In basic training for the USAF the Sgt. told us we don't polish the buttons or insignia on the cover cap. They were a different kind of metal so they wouldn't polish. He said that we leave it for the Army to polish theirs. We did polish our shoes.

 

[Colonialgirl]

In basic training for the USAF the Sgt. told us we don't polish the buttons or insignia on the cover cap. They were a different kind of metal so they wouldn't polish. He said that we leave it for the Army to polish theirs. We did polish our shoes.

Yeah, The AF walked around with their hands in their pockets too and Pot Metal doesn't polish.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :wink: :wink:

 

[Fox Mike]

In basic training for the USAF the Sgt. told us we don't polish the buttons or insignia on the cover cap. They were a different kind of metal so they wouldn't polish. He said that we leave it for the Army to polish theirs. We did polish our shoes.

Yeah, The AF walked around with their hands in their pockets . . . . . . . .

:lol: :lol: :lol: :wink: :wink:

They find it is cheaper than issuing gloves. :roll: :roll:

 

[graygun]

I was in the Army, BUT if I was ever in a serious battle, I would be happiest with a MARINE sharing my fox hole !!

You sure? 'Cause unlike the Army, Marines don't stay in foxholes very long. Usually not long enough to be worth digging them. We're an offensive force, not a defensive force.

She just likes being around Marines. :lol: