Got an upsetting call this evening

[Mobuck]

I was out checking fence this evening when my phone rattled. It was a local area friend telling me my Cousin had been in a fatal vehicle crash and the community had determined I'm the closest living relative. When I reached the house, I called the funeral director and confirmed I was a blood relative and the deceased had no siblings or offspring. There are still unanswered questions but the immediate care of the body and funeral arraignments will begin tomorrow.
There was also the question of livestock care on his farm a mile up the road, so I went up to make sure water/feed was available.
After a bit of settling down, we came up with 4 living second Cousins. If there isn't a written burial/will/succession plan, it will be up to those of us willing to participate to ensure a proper burial and begin the process of disposing of his personal property and real estate.
It seems a bit odd that after years of no contact with this relative other than waving as we passed on the road, I'd talked to him 4 or 5 times this year and now he's dead.

 

[hittman]

Prayers to you and yours sir.
I'm sorry for your loss.

And here's a reminder for everybody here to have a WILL! You don't do those for yourself ..... you 'em so those you leave behind don't have a headache.

 

[Watchman]

My condolences. :(

Prayers sent for him and you.

 

[JohnBoy]

My sympathy to you and your family. Live every moment.

 

[arfmel]

My condolences.

 

[Mobuck]

I don't know which is more disturbing, the loss of a family member only marginally older than myself or the mortality wake up call. The man had been in poor health for the last decade but apparently either a health issue or an error in driving ended those problems.
I really hope he had a will and burial plan as I know the other Cousins well enough to know they're money grubbing weasels and I don't want to fight with them over the probate or whatever. The land has been in our family since the late 1800's. If it comes right down to it, I'm not going to roll over and let the weasels raid the chicken coop.

 

[contender]

Sorry to hear of your family loss.
And yes,, many of us here can relate to relatives being money grubbing weasels.

I know you will do what is right.

 

[gramps]

Man, I hate those calls! Good luck Mobuck, God is on your side!
gramps

 

[redhawker]

Prayers to you and yours sir.
I'm sorry for your loss.

And here's a reminder for everybody here to have a WILL! You don't do those for yourself ..... you 'em so those you leave behind don't have a headache.

Not only that but get a trust to go with it. That protects your estate and avoids probate and taxes.

 

[Mobuck]

The "weasels" are homing in. Maybe I'm just suspicious but here's the scenario: Last night (only hours after the fatal accident) a person contacted one of the "fringe relatives" ( the stepson of another second cousin) with an offer to "take care of the cattle" on the deceased man's farm. The "fringe relative" was skeptical so ran the idea past his spouse who bounced it off her parents who indicated that the idea should be presented to me before ANYONE was allowed onto the property. GOOD CALL!!
We're still waiting on the legal process but I'm setting up a meeting with a couple of the other "fringe relatives" to determine who is willing to visit the farm and make an inventory of the livestock. Maybe add a Deputy if I can manage that. Either placing someone in physical charge of the cattle or rounding them up for sale is a priority to prevent losses or outright theft.
Grouch Attack and I went up to check the farmstead last night under the advice of the funeral director/Coroner but I'm not going back alone simply to prevent being accused to pilfering while there.

 

[CGDustDevil]

Sorry to hear of your family loss.
And yes,, many of us here can relate to relatives being money grubbing weasels.

I know you will do what is right.

Hear hear...

 

[kmoore]

Sorry to learn of your loss. My advice is get someone else to go there with you and film, log, record all that's there. Stuff is going to disappear from out right theft and those who feel it's their right. Family estates can become a bigger problem than you might imagine. Hope you find a will.

 

[Muley Gil]

Back in my badge totin' days, my partner & I received a natural death call. After the paramedics left, the funeral home was notified and the report was written, the relatives that had called the police almost rolled the body off the bed onto the floor! They knew the deceased had kept money under the mattress and they were going to split it up right then and there. Of course, we stopped that and luckily another relative showed up that had more restraint.

 

[gramps]

Good Job Mobuck, kmoore et al had some good advice. You have a thankless job, but: THANK YOU!
gramps

 

[Mobuck]

I had a long chat with the Coroner again this morning. Confirmed the list of known relatives and presented my plan for the livestock. Coroner agreed this was a good idea so we have a 3 person party going in tomorrow morning to count and catalog livestock. None of the vehicles or tractors sitting on the farmstead will start so not likely those will run away. I was able to confirm that the deceased's home in town was being secured by the city Police although anything of known value is likely already gone.
Although the Coroner was going to verify all the names I gave him and pass on my phone number, not a single one of those people has contacted me regarding the funeral arraignments.

 

[Mike J]

Praying for you.

 

[OVERLOADDED]

Keep your card punched every day!Overloadded

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

Sorry you had to get the call. I also hope you find a will. It's part of the end of life issues that have to be dealt with. You have a good sense of right and wrong, I'm sure your steadiness will help keep them lined out.

 

[graygun]

Good luck and may God help you in this. It seems there are always an abundance of bad actors (relatives etc) in life.

 

[clintsfolly]

Good luck! Thanks for doing thing right. When my Grandmother passed her will said that everything was to be split Three ways. With my Aunt, Uncle and I and my siblings to get a share. Well dear old aunt and uncle when to see grandma,s lawyer the afternoon she died and got copies of the will. The day of the funeral uncle was at the house and loading out all sorts of stuff. All her guns,China, and good jewelry gone. 2 weeks later we get letters form the lawyer with copy’s of will. That is when we found out that we( my siblings and I) where written into the will. By this time dear old uncle was back in SC with a 8x16 I closed trailer of stuff and no inventory. Nice old then called and told us that “we where going to come up next weekend to help her clean and sort out things because we where in the will”. So up we went and worked all weekend getting things in order. During the weekend we found out she had a appraisal done on the household goods. We got a few things that we wanted only to find out later she deducted the value for the money when the house sold. When asked about the trailer load she had no idea her brother had taken anything. The trailer was parked in her drive for 8 days. The final papers showed uncle got nothing from the house and grandma had $3.78 in her checking and $4.55 in savings. So yes watch and expect the money grabbers. But on the bright side I did get a few things I wanted. A old table and chairs and a box of old towels. Was going to use the for rags. About a year after it was all done I went to get a rag and found in the box a small tin inside a towel. Inside was some gold jewelry. About $2700. worth! I have slowly give my kids and brother and sister most of it. My share is still in the safe and someday my Granddaughter (named for my grandmother) will get it!

 

[Mobuck]

Tomorrow I'm headed to the county courthouse to see what is next in the process of handling the deceased's property and attempt to set up a funeral. At this point, the "weasels" must have determined there's no pot of gold and have lost interest. I'm not walking away from my family commitment and that's the way it is.
Three of us counted the livestock Saturday morning and signed off on the count. We believe this is a good number based on comments the deseased had made to one of the men making the count. The count sheet signed by all present will be turned over to whoever is "officially in charge" (most likely the Public Administrator will be holding the paperwork).
I need to discuss with the Coroner how to work out an acceptable process by which the body can be released for burial. I have a call in to the current cemetery clerk to see if there's still space in the original family plot or if we'll have to use another spot. I sincerely hope there's one spot left as the deceased is the end of the family line-the last male carrying the surname of that part of the family. Our Great Grandfathers donated the land for the original cemetery.