Goneril comes out swinging

[Phoenix too]

So some may remember my previous posts re 'Goneril' AKA my sister.

The latest episode she all but accused me of robbing our disabled sister's trust fund (I was her Guardian for 20+ years). Amongst other claims, my daughter's car was purchased with money from the trust account when it was closed. The trust account was closed in 2008, after my sister's death, and the funds went to Mum. Mum did, indeed, help fund the purchase of the car, but that was in 2006, two years before the trust account was closed.

Goneril is now back in her corner, whining "How was I to know?", esp since Mum's attorney called her on baseless claims.

Fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is! I just had to tell SOMEBODY!!!!

 

[Cooperhawk]

Not unusual. My Attorney Wife has had family fights right in our living room over some meaningless piece of furniture or junk. People get envious and always think they're getting cheated. Human nature I guess.

When my Mother passed she had what I thought was a house full of treasures. Well, at the auction they didn't bring much. Mostly it's the sentiment.

 

[m657]

I thought my own family had classic example of 'no trust fund money existed-yet shirt tail inlaws swarmed like locust to haul off what wasn't theirs'

until seeing the foibles of Dear Wife's cousins infighting and bickering for decades over something that also never existed

 

[Jeepnik]

I was lucky. Mom had a sizeable estate. She had it all in a trust. I was primary and my oldest sis the secondary on it. She spelled out that except for already announced stuff things were to be sold and the money split evenly.

No fighting just a bunch of sadness that mom was gone. In fact, the only issue, and that held things up for over a year was an IRS problem. And once I got a hold of the right firm it took ten minutes and one phone call to correct the situation (the IRS doesn't even know it's own regulations most of the time). That was the only expense and it was the best $250 I've ever spent.

 

[Pat-inCO]

Goneril is now back in her corner, whining "How was I to know?",
esp since Mum's attorney called her on baseless claims.

I suggest a well documented letter with all dates, etc.
Then put it in a safe place and ignore her. If it ever comes up again, just
pull out the letter and hand it to her. If things calm down and never come
to a head again, discard the letter in ten years.

Done that way, she has the chance of becoming a reasonable person with
you being prepared, but not an antagonist. If needed . . . . . . :roll:




P.S. Being prepared brings a significant calm. 8)

 

[Ruger1441]

In my profession I have seen this type of crap happen over and over. Seems there is always at least one in every family who is a real a$$ about money. The amount of families that are torn apart over a few bucks one the table always amazes me. A word to the wise Never, Never be a trustee in an estate unless it can not be avoided.

 

[Colonialgirl]

When my Mom passed away my Big Brother was the estate trustee; He inherited Mom's house ( No problem he had moved in with her and took care of her and home maintenance for 5 or so years before she died, he took her to Hawaii and on other vacation trips.) He made sure I got my share of the estate including a portion of the value of the house. I had no arguments with his handling of the estate, we have always been close and honest with each other.

 

[contender]

Miss Penny works for an attorney. Some of their cases involve divorce suits, or estates. To listen to her,,,, some people are just plain STUPID when it comes to these things. Once recent case,,, where the couple had about 1.5 million in assets,,, they spent days in court,,, over "equitable distribution" of the items in the house. They paid 4 attorneys & staff for all this time in court,,, (On Penny's side,,, it was to the tune of over $900 an hour,) and argued over a trowel, a lamp, & other SMALL items from the house. She said the trowel alone took almost 30 minutes.
Point being,,,, be SMART about property, estates, wills, etc. Look at the bigger picture, and be willing to let some stuff go. And ALWAYS,,,, ALWAYS try & do what you think the deceased person would want done. And,,, if put in a position of being a trustee or whatever,,, document, document, document.

 

[mohavesam]

OK, this is just too much to not reply...
I am executor over a medium ($250K - 1M) estate, wherein the deceased left real property to his two kids - NEITHER of whom ever had a mortgage or credit card or checking account! So the executor has to take time and travel to explain and educate both pinheads, who doubt every word. I even sent them both a book/CD for dummies, although I have no notion that either ever read past the cover. I like training others, and used to be pretty effective at it, but these two take the cake.

- If your kids are pinheads, DON'T leave them something they cannot understand nor manage!!!

 

[Phoenix too]

Can't Goneril be fixed with a round of antibiotic injections?

I hoped this would lift your spirits. Forgive me if judged offensive.

OMG, that's hysterical! If only it were that easy - more and more stuff is now immune to antibiotics, and I suspect this case is, too.

My spirits are good. There was stuff I cared about, but, "Things without all recourse should be without regret, what's done is done."

The only things left to do:

Tell her I know about the $20K Mum lent her after she sold her house in Alexandria, Virginia, in which she'd lived for 30 years, and was so broke she had to buy a fixer-upper in a less well to do town, and which she never repaid, but that's OK as Mum gave us some, and now you know why.

That the attorney she picked to sort out Mum's affairs was with a firm with whom we, and especially my wife's Father had done extensive business.

And that time in the office, when he was beating me up in front of you - that was rope a dope, only you didn't know you were the dope. (that's going to have to wait, can't talk about that while those doing the orchestrating are still walking.)

Thanks for listening, and sharing some stories - I'm always amazed. Our 'Grand Neighbor' across the street meant for our daughter to have a cribbage table where they played cribbage (and other games, when daughter was younger). Said fact was written on the bottom of the table, but not in any legal documents. Her SOB son (who was also cheating his brother out of something much more substantial) took it. "She changed her mind." BS.

 

[pete44ru]

.

Sometimes, a relative can be worse than some shyster.. (BT, DT )


.

 

[Phoenix too]

Laughter, the best medicine!

"Friends are god's apology for relations."

 

[graygun]

Goneril sounds like the name of a drug.

 

[Phoenix too]

Goneril sounds like the name of a drug.

LOL, or a disease.

Actually it is the name of King Lear's eldest daughter, and a very mean, conniving, and rotten daughter was she. Given my Mother had her Masters in Shakespeare, that moniker is more than fitting!