Etiquette?

[JFB]

When leaving western sizzler with my take out, I notice a great grandmother trying to negotiate her walker up to the door. Assisting her was a “county aide” (noticed the name tag), following was grandmother and mother, both on smart phones with 20ish son walking behind, both hands in pockets hold up pants.
I diverted to the entrance door and held it open. Not one of the women even made eye contact even after I “hope you were doing ok today”. As the grandson was half way thru, I let the door go, whacking him on the shoulder… “Oops”.

 

[CGDustDevil]

It's really a shame that people have grown so antisocial and self centered.

 

[deserttrans]

Yep! Most have their head buried in the darn smart phone.

 

[eveled]

I did that let the door shut trick once.

I under estimated how fast the door would close, the guy walked right into the edge of the door, broke his nose and almost got knocked out.

I felt like a heal, but I bet the guy thinks twice about barging in front of someone carrying an infant now.

I don't think they mean to be rude, they are just oblivious.

 

[blackhawknj]

Manners and etiquette do have to be taught-and learned. As the OP noted, "maturity" is no guarantee of civility and decency.

 

[Cholo]

I'm fortunate enough to live where people go out of their way to hold the door for someone else. I can't recall ever not receiving a thank you.

JFB, you did the right thing. eveled, don't feel too bad :mrgreen:

 

[Bob Wright]

Last Sunday night, after church, my wife, sister, and I stopped at a TCBY for some refreshment. As we left, I opened the doors on the Jeep for my sister and Nita, closing them when they were inside and seated.

As I walked around to get in my side, a youngish man, seated in the back seat of a Hummer said, "Sir, you are a true gentleman."

Sort of made my day.

Bob Wright

 

[gramps]

I'm fortunate enough to live where people go out of their way to hold the door for someone else. I can't recall ever not receiving a thank you.

JFB, you did the right thing. eveled, don't feel too bad :mrgreen:

Ditto
gramps

 

[Bob Wright]

Old story, worth repeating here:

An elderly gentleman boarded an elevator, alone at first but at the last minute a young woman entered the car. As she entered, the old gent removed his hat. The elevator rose up one floor and stopped, then another and stopped.

The woman muttered "This d ----d elevator is going to stop at every floor!"

The old gent replaced his hat on his head.

Bob Wright

 

[Bob Wright]

My friend Charles and I have coffee every Friday morning, circumstances permitting. And we were often joined by a lady we came to know as Judge Judy. As she approached our table one morning, we both rose.

Judge Judy smiled broadly and said, "Your mothers raised you right."

Bob Wright

 

[sfhogman]

Proper etiquette ia sort of second nature to me...probably the way I was raised.
Being in the military and working in a VA hospital had its effect too, though. Teaches one a little about respect, graciousness and civility.

Jeff

 

[Jim Puke]

Chivalry and etiquette ain't dead...I am an old guy and there were lots of folks that weren't very polite, way back when I was growing up. We, old guys, like to make out like everything was perfect "back it the day"...but not so much.

 

[JFB]

...
JFB, you did the right thing. eveled, don't feel too bad :mrgreen:

I felt bad as the progression entered. I understand greatgrandma was concern with staying up. the aide also was busy assisting getting the walker over the thresholds. But my eire was raised as I noticed her family could careless how she fared.

If it was my mother or even more so my grandmother, I would have extended an arm to block the door while someone else held it.

Then came the young man and i had it....at least he and I made eye contact

 

[exavid]

Around here most people seem to be polite, I have the same experiences with doors and such as Cholo and gramps. My grandson now holds doors for people. Before we started working at the range with the .22 I got for him he'd rush right through a doorway ahead of anyone. Now he holds doors for ladies, older people, etc.
I guess the time I've spent with him enroute back and forth from the rifle range telling him how a gentleman behaves wasn't wasted. You won't catch him at a fast food joint eating with his hat on.

 

[Jeepnik]

The best we can hope for is Karma. And that they still have the mental facilities to realize that they were just as self centered and inconsiderate as those now taking care of them.

 

[Phoenix too]

Self-centeredness has come to rule. It's less and less likely to get a 'thank you' for holding a door for someone - they just assume you're the help.

I've been handing out 'thank you' gifts to those that scraped me off the street after my bike crash, and to the person who called '911'. I finally got his delivered yesterday, tho he was out. His boss told me that he was astounded that people just drove right on past me and didn't stop. He saw it all in his rear-view mirror, and turned around to help me.

 

[Tallbald]

I was raised to be courteous to everyone I meet, until it's determined that they don't deserve my kind behavior. Here in Southern Kentucky it's unusual for an average male NOT to allow another to precede him through the door when arriving simultaneously. Or to hold a door for another person. Age and ethnicity seem to have no bearing either on extended courtesies. Sorta funny sometimes though to see the reactions I receive I hold the door with a polite flourish for "scary looking" folks -- young men who might be labeled "toughs" or "gangsta". Maybe they aren't used to common courtesies from bald old fat white men. I also have no fear or feelings of need to avoid contact with groups of young men riding in tricked out vehicles. If warranted, I'll compliment their car and nod with an admiring smile at what they are obviously proud of when we happen to be filling up side by side or stopped at the same intersection. I never though drop my guard and always stay in "condition yellow". I won't allow a book's cover to dictate my common courtesy. Hope it never comes back to bite me. Don

 

[Colonialgirl]

When I shop at our local Walmart, I have had one of the doors held open for me more than once, both in bound and out bound; By the same token, I HAVE held the door for others and many times for women with your children in tow or in the shopping buggy.
BUT this is STILL a Southern town mot completely over run by Yankees from up North like on down South.

 

[ned]

I enjoyed your comments Tallbald. I go to a boxing gym a few times a week- on a few occasions I have heard things like - 'can't spar this afternoon I am helping my grandmother make tamales' they look gangsta with the tats and street swagger but... well the old book/cover thing. PS- typed this while wearing one of your fine belts. Ned

 

[contender]

Manners. Something being slowly lost on so many.
Just yesterday,,, at the Area 6 USPSA match,,, I needed to speak with Dave Sevigney, so I went to him. He was talking to another guy,,, so I casually sat down nearby. A girl that works for FN,, asked if I needed something,, and I said,,,"No thanks,,, I'm waiting on Dave,, I just don't interrupt a conversation,,, as it's impolite."
She was a little taken aback,, and said; "If it's important,,, go ahead."
I turned to her & said; "Ma'am, I was raised in the south to have manners & I don't do that."
She was a bit confused.

 

[Precision32]

When I moved to Upper Carolina I was setting around talking to some of the new neighbor ladies getting to know each other. After talking together for around 20 minutes, one of the ladies looked at me and said "You're not from around here are you?" "No mam, I'm not. How can you tell?" was my reply. "You have manners!" was her comeback.

Just the way I was raised.

 

[Poco Oso]

Hey, take it easy on us "Yankees". Up here we still treat our women like ladies and our elders with respect, the same as you. Some of us listened to Mom & Dad. :wink: It doesn't seem to have had the same effect on some of the younger kids, but for the most part they're pretty good. We're pretty rural however. The larger towns and cities follow the norm. Same as in the south. :mrgreen:

 

[stevemb]

Etiquette is why I spend less and less time on this webforum, while other wring hands over spelling and grammar.

 

[mexicanjoe]

My oldest boy is autistic, but he hurries to open doors for ladies, elderly, and moms with babies! He ABSOLUTELY LOVES babies! Can't pull him away. He's got that innocence that goes with ASD! I've taught him that he is an example of manners, and should act accordingly.......we need to teach our young'uns this again!

 

[opos]

We live in Southern California and it's really unsettling to watch the lack of decency and manners that seems to be rampant here..(I'm sure it's not just here) but one thing...we live in a very old neigborhood...old houses and many older folks that were here in the 50's (like my wife) that either stayed or moved back in after they grew up and got married...it's a very "small town setting" in a big city environment...several churches and several schools in the area...we don't have grafitti, much crime, etc and have lots of community functions (park "picnic days", etc).

We have a great little local cafe in one of the centers right in the middle of the area...it's a gathering place for folks ..especially after church ...and watching things it's apparent that chivelry is not dead...people open doors, help older folks in an out...smile and say hello..a real pleasant experience and what a change from just a few miles away where the "young up and coming professionals" are busy slamming through their selfish and rushed clawing to the top of their heap....it takes no effort to be polite and if a person doesn't want to be polite at least keep your mouth shut and just move along.

 

[Tallbald]

Ned thank you for the kind words. Don Sterchi

 

[baronvoncatania]

When I shop at our local Walmart, I have had one of the doors held open for me more than once, both in bound and out bound; By the same token, I HAVE held the door for others and many times for women with your children in tow or in the shopping buggy.
BUT this is STILL a Southern town mot completely over run by Yankees from up North like on down South.

I was agreeing with 100% until the last line. There isn't a southerner alive that is more courteous than I am, and I've lived in New England all my life.
That comment was rude and bigotid

 

[baronvoncatania]

Hey, take it easy on us "Yankees". Up here we still treat our women like ladies and our elders with respect, the same as you. Some of us listened to Mom & Dad. :wink: It doesn't seem to have had the same effect on some of the younger kids, but for the most part they're pretty good. We're pretty rural however. The larger towns and cities follow the norm. Same as in the south. :mrgreen:

AGREED! seems like southerners like to point how rude northerners are, which is pretty darn rude in itself.

 

[Rook]

When I shop at our local Walmart, I have had one of the doors held open for me more than once, both in bound and out bound;

I think most everybody has had the doors opened for them at Walmart since they have automatic doors. :lol:

 

[Colonialgirl]

When I shop at our local Walmart, I have had one of the doors held open for me more than once, both in bound and out bound; By the same token, I HAVE held the door for others and many times for women with your children in tow or in the shopping buggy.
BUT this is STILL a Southern town mot completely over run by Yankees from up North like on down South.

I was agreeing with 100% until the last line. There isn't a southerner alive that is more courteous than I am, and I've lived in New England all my life.
That comment was rude and bigotid

NOT from what I've seen and experienced and I've lived in ALL; North South Est and West !!

Speaking of "bigoted" Throw in "RUDE YANKEE" and we have a picture of you.