Elephant joke

[Colonialgirl]

A man sees a crowd next to a large elephant. As he walked up, he read a sign that said, "Make the elephant respond to two questions and win $500. $10 entry fee."
A long line inched forward, and finally it was his turn. He walked to the rear of the elephant and placed a small bag on the ground and took out two bricks. He smacked the bricks against the huge testicles. The elephant screamed and fell to it's knees.
The man walked around to the head and asked, "Did that hurt?" The elephant nodded it's head up and down. "Do you want me to do that again?" The elephant shook it's head side-to-side.
The trainer told the man to take his money and get out.
A year later, the same elephant and trainer were doing the same thing, so the man got in line. When his turn came, the trainer told him he could not try again because he hurt the elephant before. The man assured the trainer that he would not touch the elephant, so the trainer agreed.
The man walked up to the elephant and asked, "Do you remember me?" The elephant nodded it's head. Then he asked, "Do you want me to do what I did last time?" The elephant shook it's head side-to-side. The man collected his winnings and left.

 

[stevemb]

As a testicle carrying member of roughly half the species, I protest. That ain't funny ! OUCH ! (LOL).

 

[5of7]

As a testicle carrying member of roughly half the species, I protest. That ain't funny ! OUCH ! (LOL).

No no it does not hurt.........unless you get your thumbs between the bricks, that is. 8)

 

[Cooperhawk]

We were traveling in the Saudi desert and needed a better means of transportation. Our four wheel drive kept bogging down in the sand, so we went to Achmed's Camel Market.
We had picked out what looked like a good animal when Achmed approached us and asked where we were going.
When we told him he said, "that camel can't get that far, that's only a four day camel."
We asked, "what does that mean?"
Achmed explained that the camel we were looking at could only hold enough water for a four day trip, then it would die.
"Well what do we need?" we asked.
"An eight day camel." he answered.
Where can we get one?" we asked.
He replied that he could make any male camel into an eight day camel for $500.00.
Not wanting to take any chances we quickly paid Achmed the money. He led a male camel over to the water trough and let it began drinking. When the camel had it's nose deep in the water Achmed crept up behind the camel with two bricks, and quickly slammed the camel's testicles between the bricks.
The camel went Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss inhaling gallons of water.
And thus we had our bricked eight day camel.

 

[Selena]

As a testicle carrying member of roughly half the species, I protest. That ain't funny ! OUCH ! (LOL).

No elephants were harmed in the making of this joke. I found it quite amusing. Even more so than my cousin's gag business card that reads- I screw men for money and they don't enjoy it...

She's a divorce lawyer.

 

[stevemb]

Ok Selena, that ain't funny either, but truly glad I'm not in that club. LOL !

 

[Selena]

Ok Selena, that ain't funny either, but truly glad I'm not in that club. LOL !

You just have no sense of humor is all.

 

[FastEd]

Woah!

 

[Merle1948]

Ok Selena, that ain't funny either, but truly glad I'm not in that club. LOL !

You just have no sense of humor is all.

I do, and that story reminds me of "grannies whorehouse" for some odd reason! :mrgreen:

 

[Selena]

Ok Selena, that ain't funny either, but truly glad I'm not in that club. LOL !

You just have no sense of humor is all.

I do, and that story reminds me of "grannies whorehouse" for some odd reason! :mrgreen:

Keep in mind that a year ago last January Steve insulted my cooking to the degree I would feel the need to give him McDonalds' take out should he ever visit. I am very unlikely to cut him much slack after that.

 

[Merle1948]

Ok Selena, that ain't funny either, but truly glad I'm not in that club. LOL !

You just have no sense of humor is all.

I do, and that story reminds me of "grannies whorehouse" for some odd reason! :mrgreen:

Keep in mind that a year ago last January Steve insulted my cooking to the degree I would feel the need to give him McDonalds' take out should he ever visit. I am very unlikely to cut him much slack after that.[/quote]



OK, then! Just remember I never insulted your cooking - and I like your sense of humor! :mrgreen:

 

[Selena]

OK, then! Just remember I never insulted your cooking - and I like your sense of humor! :mrgreen:

I keep notes on that kind of thing. You sir are the type that is clever enough to know if you treat a woman like a thoroughbred she won't treat you like an old nag.

 

[Merle1948]

OK, then! Just remember I never insulted your cooking - and I like your sense of humor! :mrgreen:

I keep notes on that kind of thing. You sir are the type that is clever enough to know if you treat a woman like a thoroughbred she won't treat you like an old nag.

Thank you for noticing! :mrgreen:

 

[Rick Courtright]

I do, and that story reminds me of "grannies whorehouse" for some odd reason! :mrgreen:

Hi,

"I'll keep an eye out for ya!"

That one?

Rick C

 

[Merle1948]

I do, and that story reminds me of "grannies whorehouse" for some odd reason! :mrgreen:

Hi,

"I'll keep an eye out for ya!"

That one?

Rick C

Nope. it was "step thru this door", which puts him back out in the parking lot!

 

[Rick Courtright]

Nope. it was "step thru this door", which puts him back out in the parking lot!

Hi,

Ok! I think I heard that one involving nuns... and a sign: "You've just been screwed by the Sisters of Charity!" :shock:

Rick C

 

[Merle1948]

Nope. it was "step thru this door", which puts him back out in the parking lot!

Hi,

Ok! I think I heard that one involving nuns... and a sign: "You've just been screwed by the Sisters of Charity!" :shock:

Rick C

same game - different players! :lol:

 

[Selena]

Nope. it was "step thru this door", which puts him back out in the parking lot!

Hi,

Ok! I think I heard that one involving nuns... and a sign: "You've just been screwed by the Sisters of Charity!" :shock:

Rick C

same game - different players! :lol:

For instance, since you know at least one member of the forum is a practicing Catholic you chose to refer to the players as grannies rather than nuns. As I mention, sir, I keep notes.

The story is told of the man who had just been through a divorce and was being consoled by a friend.
Friend: where you are you going to live since she got the house?
He: my parents let me build a shanty in their back yard. It's nice, at least I kept the living room rug, in my shanty it's wall to wall wall carpeting.
Friend: How are you going to get to work since she got got all three cars?
He: I got the Yugo I bought in high school running, at least I kept the title to that.
Friend: You realize right now she's driving your Caddy down the mountain to visit her boyfriend with the house by the lake.
He: I know, but at least I kept the brake lines and the driver side air bag to the Caddy.

 

[Merle1948]

Nope. it was "step thru this door", which puts him back out in the parking lot!

Hi,

Ok! I think I heard that one involving nuns... and a sign: "You've just been screwed by the Sisters of Charity!" :shock:

Rick C

same game - different players! :lol:

For instance, since you know at least one member of the forum is a practicing Catholic you chose to refer to the players as grannies rather than nuns. As I mention, sir, I keep notes.

The story is told of the man who had just been through a divorce and was being consoled by a friend.
Friend: where you are you going to live since she got the house?
He: my parents let me build a shanty in their back yard. It's nice, at least I kept the living room rug, in my shanty it's wall to wall wall carpeting.
Friend: How are you going to get to work since she got got all three cars?
He: I got the Yugo I bought in high school running, at least I kept the title to that.
Friend: You realize right now she's driving your Caddy down the mountain to visit her boyfriend with the house by the lake.
He: I know, but at least I kept the brake lines and the driver side air bag to the Caddy.[/quote]



Thank you for the kind words!!! :mrgreen: