Conversation with daughter

[volshooter]

PEEASE FEEL FREE TO DELEATE IF OFFENSIVE.
During our daily conversation the subject of rape came up. My youngest lives with my widowed mother. Mom is so worried about the violation of females, not a big problem in our area. During this conversation my baby girl brought up the subject of males raped by females.
Here it got interesting and heated. She stated that she has been told by several of her male friends that they were raped by females. THEY told her the actions were uncomfortable and unwelcomed.

I told her, a male cannot be raped by a female he does not want "attention in some form" from. She said it is rape, I disagree strongly. Speaking as a male. I can assure all that there is no rape if a male becomes aroused. I expect to be deleted and disagreed with.

Mature men will understand. I am not talking about mature adult females and young fellers.

Men folk have to be aroused to have relations. DUH
There is no way a normal guy could get aroused if he felt the least bit threatened, unless there is some looser aspect that she did not tell.

I won't say exactly what is on my mind cause it could get me banned. All the guys my daughter is referring to are in their 20's.

A woman can do things like an actress, a man has to "be into it" to perform.

I would really like to hear from males on this one.
I think seduction is the proper term.

 

[loaded round]

That's a hot subject!

 

[Bob Wright]

I'm with you. Seduction is "consensual."

Bob Wright

 

[CLAYPOOL]

Sir there are many ways a man can be raped and not just by a women/female. The prisons and other situations are talked about on the news medias fairly frankly. The news media says things on a daily basis's that I would never have seen when I was growing up. I think that the younger ones and I mean not just at the high school and earlier grade levels need to be warned. I.E. 8 to 30 year olds. If I have said something modulators please feel free to remove or modified this post as I just felt this comment needed saying.

 

[protoolman]

In the Navy I knew several female officers who "fratrenized" with young out of boot camp sailors. I guess what they were doing was against regs and was a power thing where the guys may have felt pressured but to a man the sailors went along willingly. I tend to agree with your position. The only way a man could be raped is by a gay guy but then he would definitely be entitled to kill the attacker with his .44 Super Blackhawk..

 

[gramps]

When I was a teen, my mother (a nurse)gave me this advice: "If rape is imminent, relax and enjoy it". I never had the chance to use this advice. In nursing school I had a couple of male class mates that told of being used sexually (under age 6)by female babysitters(in their teens). Both spoke of it in glowing terms!
gramps

 

[TRanger]

I agree with the OP. A man cannot be raped by a female, at least not in the way we're talking about. I'm always annoyed when some female high school teacher is charged with "raping" one of her students. When I was in high school, this would have been the teenage boy's equivalent of winning the lottery!

 

[Mike J]

You can't rape the willing.

It does make me wonder what these young fellows have done that they don't want to take responsibility for. When I was young & wild even if I messed with a woman I knew I really shouldn't have I would own up to it. I never pretended I was forced. It sounds like someone is trying to feed her a line of bull.

 

[TinkerDave]

Unless you have endured a rape, you have no idea what you are talking about - and I am here to tell you that you are wrong. Rape is rape and has nothing to do with sex. To confuse the two just shows your ignorance. TD

 

[5of7]

Unless you have endured a rape, you have no idea what you are talking about - and I am here to tell you that you are wrong. Rape is rape and has nothing to do with sex. To confuse the two just shows your ignorance. TD

Oh my GOD.... :lol: :roll: :? :?: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
8)

 

[stevemb]

TinkerDave and your daughter are correct. You all are assuming it's gonna be the male organ that is used in the usual way. I'll not go further on this forum. Rape is rape. If the male says thanks, asks for phone number later, no, no rape. If he is shamed, needs medical attention, we are back to rape.

 

[5of7]

TinkerDave and your daughter are correct. You all are assuming it's gonna be the male organ that is used in the usual way. I'll not go further on this forum. Rape is rape. If the male says thanks, asks for phone number later, no, no rape. If he is shamed, needs medical attention, we are back to rape.

Why not go further? Just put it in clinical terms and no one would be offended. 8)

 

[dougader]

I studied male rape during my criminology courses in college. I'm no expert, but males can be raped by other men and women. Male victims of rape claim their "physiology" betrayed them. In other words, they had no desire but fear caused the arousal which permitted the rape by the female attacker.

"Get it up or lose it" was a phrase used in a case in the Seattle area in the 70's.

In cases where there is no arousal, the men were held down and physically forced to "finish" their female attackers manually and/or orally.

A small statured man was attacked by 2 women in southern Oregon several years back. IIRC, he was out in the woods taking photographs of the scenery. After they sexually assaulted/raped him, they killed him.

 

[volshooter]

I request more detailed information please.
As the OP let me clarify, I am speaking of 20 something year old men, being touched by females and becoming aroused, and completing the act despite claiming it was unwanted. BS says I. There is no mention of pressure via physical or mental means, guns, knives, use it or lose it, authority figure, finish the job with another tool, and ...not male on male rape... where did that come from????
Someone please explain how a male's physiology allows a violent act (rape, forced sex, unwanted, ugly, nasty..ect) to happen.
Perhaps I am the exception to the book. If I do not want to, it don't happen.
I herby state the following.....
I cannot be raped (sexual intercourse) by any woman.
Some of ya'll have a lot of book learning for sure, not sure they were using the right books though.
As posted, I agree that these little fellers are playing on her/their sympathy. Females love to help "wounded gentle creatures". Sounds to me like a loser's back door way to get a female to fix his broken wing.
I got me some book learning too and found the courses in psychology, in my opinion, unreliable at best.
While I admit the study is seemingly impressive, the human is to complex to group into boxes that end in "path".
Does this make sense to anyone?

 

[dougader]

Well, to lighten the subject... I don't know about the rest of you guys but when I was in my teens and early 20's anything and nothing would awake the "giant." There was no rhyme nor reason to it.

I was in a social studies class, boring as Hades, when I was 13 or 14 and all of a sudden, boing. I was mortified because the teacher was calling on people to go up in front and write answers down on the chalkboard. There was no reason for it. But it happened.... more than once and it seemed like the more worried I was about it the more it happened. Scared straight??? 8)

You are right that the human body is terribly complex.

 

[volshooter]

Never encountered that Doug, could it advertising?

 

[dougader]

Too much T?

 

[volshooter]

TinkerDave, I would love to hear more from you. I suspect you my friend could enlighten me, or confuse me.
Go for it please. Remember the original post, nothing about family members, male on male or force. These young fellers completed the act after being aroused and then claimed it was rape.
PM's welcome if you feel better with it.

 

[5of7]

All I got to say is this; if you can get your wife to believe you were raped....go for it. 8)

 

[RugerForMe]

Hard for me to believe any guy would feel like he was taken advantage of. Unless drugged, or held down and violated with an object.

I suppose there might be a few that had regrets after thinking with the wrong head. OMG what if I got her pregnant, what if she gave me a STD, dam I should have used a condom.

Many moons ago, I had a GF that would get me aroused while I was sleeping, and then make love to me. Sometimes I would wake up sometimes I wouldn’t. Was always a pleasant surprise to be woken up like that. Should have married her.

She use to tell me that she couldn’t believe I wouldn’t wake up.

I guess working 2 jobs, putting in 14 to 18 hour a days, might have had something to do with it.

 

[5of7]

Whaddya 'spose would happen if the male was being held down and stimulated to the point of erection, and was then told by the rapist that she was an AIDS patient and also suffered from Gonorrhea.

Whaddya 'spose would happen to his erection then? :roll:

 

[dougader]

Attitudes like these make male rape the true winner of "highly unreported crime."

Pick up a book.

I agree that some of the situations described above do not constitute rape, but to say it doesn't happen is just plain ignorant.

 

[dougader]

It doesn't take much to find data on this:

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/04/male_rape_in_america_a_new_study_reveals_that_men_are_sexually_assaulted.html

A recent analysis of BJS (Bureau of Justice Statistics) data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator.

The mere presence of physiological symptoms associated with arousal does not in fact indicate actual arousal, much less willing participation. And the high degree of depression and dysfunction among male victims of sexual abuse backs this up. At the very least, the phrase remedies an obvious injustice. Under the old FBI definition, what happened to Rafael Yglesias would only have counted as rape if he’d been an 8-year-old girl. Accepting the term “made to penetrate” helps us understand that trauma comes in all forms.

 

[Mike Mulligan]

Volshooter,

My impression of your conversation with your daughter is that it was influenced by the differences in your experiences and education regarding rape. The legal definition of rape has changed from what it was just a few years ago and what you understand about rape is probably not even followed in the legal/judicial fields. Your daughter is most likely learning the current definitions of rape and they could be significantly different than what you were taught. You also mention that there could be details missing from her accounts of rape that differ from your understanding and that can be important. Rape continues to be a difficult subject to discuss. It is important that you are having the difficult conversation with your daughter and that you are willing to share it here.

 

[stevemb]

Mike is Da man ! Yup, as he said..

 

[5of7]

A recent analysis of BJS (Bureau of Justice Statistics) data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator.

Oh well, that changes everything. If a government study supports it. then it must be so...... :roll:

 

[volshooter]

I read the BJS findings, twice. I have to think that the folks who wrote it had to be researchers left over from the global warming reports. Sorry, it sounds like nanny state, PC crap to me.
Yes there are cases of actual rape by females, but not under the conditions I posted, at least the ones that actually got posted.
I would repost with clarity but it would get lost due to the facts that might offend some.
Asked my wife about the subject. She gave me a look that needed no words to understand.
We are not talking about male children here. No threats by/of authority figures....let us call them peers.
There is no way my wife would support me if I told her I was raped by a woman.

 

[dougader]

A recent analysis of BJS (Bureau of Justice Statistics) data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator.

Oh well, that changes everything. If a government study supports it. then it must be so...... :roll:

And you offer what in support of your notions? Nothing. Very good.

 

[volshooter]

Hold on there partner, I got to go with 5 of7 here. I believe he speaks as a normal man with worldly experience.
To call anyone ignorant cause we ain't been raped or got lots of book learning, well, is arrogant on your part, sir.
May I suggest you get your nose out of the book and get some real life experiences.

 

[5of7]

It comes down to one's definition of "rape."

In todays world of word-smithing attorneys, any sex act that is not immediately preceded by a notarized disclaimer, signed by both parties and witnessed by the County Clerk, is rape.

In reality rape is the forceful act of sex on an unwilling partner, or sex with someone who is incapable of consenting to sex--because of mental incapacitation or age--to name a few.

Now it is indeed possible to argue in court that sex was an unwilling act, and even get a conviction on that argument, but in reality, a woman can't rape a man.

All arguments to the contrary, notwithstanding. 8)