Borrowed Jokes

Colonialgirl · Oct 17, 2019

The Old Lady

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.

At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her To bring a list Of
all the medicines that had been prescribed for Her....

As The young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide As he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills..

"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in These that
that could possibly help you sleep!"

She reached out and Patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes, dear, I
know that. But every morning,I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks ..
And believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."

Hahaha! Grandma is a genius.

:lol: :wink:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Boss: Do you believe in Life after Death

Employee: CERTAINLY NOT !
There's NO PROOF.

Boss: well there is NOW.
After you left early yesterday to go
to your uncle's funeral,
He came here looking for you.

:shock: :shock: :shock: :lol: :wink:

Bear Paw Jack · Oct 17, 2019

They are being borrowed again too!!! :mrgreen:

Kevin · Oct 18, 2019

I LOVE the grandma joke.

Did you know you can call Zappos (1-800-972-7671) After their computer answers, choose Option #5, for the Joke Of The Day. My daughter and I call them a couple times a week just to hear the Joke.

Rancher Will · Oct 18, 2019

Here is one that has been going around among LEO's for years:

A man came into the Sheriff's. "I understand that the burglar who stole from my home a month ago has been identified and arrested. I would like to talk to him".

The Sheriff asked, " What do you want to talk to him about"?

The man replied, "I want to ask him how he got into my house that night without waking up my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."

Taterman · Oct 18, 2019

A friend of a friend of mine was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading, when
he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and
coming to rest on his lawn. He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on
a lawn chair.

"My goodness," he exclaimed. "You are quite old to be driving!"

"Yes," he replied. "I am old enough that I don't need a license anymore. The
last time I went to my doctor he examined me and asked if I had a driving
license. I told him yes and handed it to him."

"He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces and threw
them in the wastebasket. 'You won't be needing this anymore,' he said."

"So I thanked him and left."