A chance encounter

[coach]

I was walking down an aisle in Home Depot recently when I saw my father walking toward me. My father had been gone now for twenty years and it turns out I was walking toward a display of mirrored shower doors and the only thing I saw was my reflection. Coincidentally I was in the plumbing aisle and he was a plumber most of his life. Just brings back how I miss him and wish I had paid a bit more attention to him while he was alive.

 

[gramps]

My father was a workaholic. Rarely did anything fun with us kids. As adults we would talk on the telephone, when I called. He was killed by a drunk driver in 1994. I have tried to make/spend time with my children, and grandchildren. My father was a Master Sergant/DI in WWll. As a father he was harsh, driving, and fair. I miss him too.
gramps

 

[blume357]

Most of my developing years my father worked 3rd shift... did not see him during the week and often not on weekends but we did do vacations twice a year and he often came to sporting events....

One of my memories is going to a football game... small school, parents had to drive the team to these and we stopped at a hamburger joint that had outdoor seating.... at the end of the area about 5 young men were being rowdy and using bad language ... my father walked over and told them they needed to calm down... they had words and then my father said something to them.... I watched him back 5 young men up until they got in their car and drove off. I then realized what a marine was.... willing to stand tall with out fear when called on.... I miss mine too.

Kind and gentle man....
Oh, and not to put you hunters down, but he did not think there was any 'sport' in hunting.... I once watched him put the eye of a rattlesnake out at about 30ft with a 38. When qualifying with an M1 at Paris Island he shot a perfect score. When he got to Korea he was the BAR man...but then when they got up into the 'hills' they issued him an '03 Springfield with scope....

 

[Jeepnik]

Like many children of the depression both mom and dad worked long hours. They were going to make sure their kids didn't go without. Well, we didn't. Yet they still found time for not only us kids but each other.

It wasn't easy, but although mom had a very stable (as best one can have when her father was a China Sailor early in his career) home life. My dad's was anything but. Us kids, while not utopia, it was as close to it as possible. Am I remembering the good times and dis-remembering the bad. To some amount no doubt. Still, I followed my parent's example and I've got a couple of kids that turned out okay, so whatever mom and dad did works down through generations.

 

[contender]

I, like so many above have lost my father,,, and yet, reflect upon his life a lot. Mine was also in WWII, a paratrooper, and a workaholic. A depression era kid. So he was frugal, tough, yet caring in so many ways. I just hope he's looking at me with pride & that I'm at least 1/2 the man he was. I miss his wisdom.

 

[Don Lovel]

My dad is 89, loves to shoot Garands, 03 Sniper and Moisins at Whittington Center, I hope he is there on the silhouette range shooting his 308 Garand he built when his time comes

 

[SamV]

I was walking down an aisle in Home Depot recently when I saw my father walking toward me. My father had been gone now for twenty years and it turns out I was walking toward a display of mirrored shower doors and the only thing I saw was my reflection. Coincidentally I was in the plumbing aisle and he was a plumber most of his life. Just brings back how I miss him and wish I had paid a bit more attention to him while he was alive.

I am sometimes surprised to see my Dad in the mirror in the morning before shaving. While I am proud to look like him, I am always surprised at seeing the old grey haired reflection. Where did the decades go?

 

[Waveform]

Thanks for sharing guys. I'm very fortunate to still have my Dad and I try to spend time with him as much as I can despite the 800 miles that separate us. We share a common love of shooting and hunting and other such activities. As I've passed the half century mark I see my Dad in the mirror more and more.

 

[eveled]

My Dad was my best friend, shooting buddy, hunting buddy, fishing buddy, taught me how to do almost everything in life. The thing I remember most, was that I was always included. There was never ever a place that he went that I couldn't go with. He was the only choice for best man at my wedding.

He died at 66 after a battle with pancreatic cancer. Spent the last night alone with him, praying, made sure he got last rights from priest. Then held his hand as he slipped away. At least his suffering stopped.

It was like loosing the twelve most important people of you entire life all at once. But life goes on, now I make it my goal to be the same way for my kids.

I haven't had the mirror thing happen yet, but I have a beard he didn't. I suspect if I shaved it would be startling.

 

[Fox Mike]

I lost my Dad 17 years ago. I did inherit his 'Macgyver" way of doing things. He could fix almost anything with nothing but a piece of 'junk'. I still miss him. As far as looking like him...you can place a photo of him and I , when the same age, and we are almost twins. My second son and I also look a great deal alike. Must be a family thing. :roll:

 

[powder smoke]

My dad was in the Navy WWII Vet a radar man on a destroyer. He had a printing business
and was driven. Seems he never took time to enjoy life worked and provided. At about 70
he began a battle wit Alzheimer and quickly lost touch. Saddest part he did no know us
he has now passed and is missed. ps

 

[Colonialgirl]

My Dad was also Navy, But he had been raised by his older brother and sister because "mom" was too busy taking free trips on the railroad thanks to grandpa working there. So he sadly had not much idea how to BE a father. Some hard times with him when I was growing up, Guess I never doubted his love. The most heart wrenching time was when visiting my 100 year old Uncle (Dad's older brother) he took a long look at me and said, "you know, you look an awful lot like My brother Bud whom I loved dearly" ; It was all I could do to not cry, my dad had been gone for about 13 years.

 

[volshooter]

My dad was career army. Very decorated. He was my best friend and teacher. About 9 years before he died he needed to get something off his chest during a long ride from a hunting trip.
He said, "I love you because you are my son, but I never liked you. You are the biggest ahole I ever met. I don't want anything to do with you anymore."
I worshipped him. I told him I respected his opinion and would do as he wished.
The latter years we did have a lot of contact several times a week. I always helped him with whatever he needed, but there was no father/son connection.
Dad and I never talked about what he said to me again.
I never held it against him, even when I fulfilled my promise to turn the machines off that were keeping his brain dead body alive. (in full view of family, friends and doctors) It was a promise I made him long ago.
I loved my Paw, but done as he wished. No tears, just pride that he was already gone and going home. Dad was a preacher late in life and ready. I would do the same again. Might sound cold but it is true. I miss him every day, he made me what I am. A better man.

 

[smoke-eater]

My father was a workaholic. Rarely did anything fun with us kids. As adults we would talk on the telephone, when I called. He was killed by a drunk driver in 1994. I have tried to make/spend time with my children, and grandchildren. My father was a Master Sergant/DI in WWll. As a father he was harsh, driving, and fair. I miss him too.
gramps

Gramps, it sounds like your father and mine were cut from the same bolt of cloth. Also a WW II vet, he worked himself into an early grave, at the age of 68. Tough man, but I now appreciate the values and work ethic he instilled in me.

Jeff

 

[Coogs]

I think I really could just take a little bit of each one of the previous posts, and roll them into one and make up what I would like to say. Dad was a WWII Navy vet, in at 17. Also a plumber, I still am, also a workaholic. Lost him in November '13. The memories are flooding back, the tears are effecting my typing, I DO miss him so........Coogs.

 

[vito]

To SamV: I was ready to write virtually the exact words that your post started with. Without my glasses on, passing the mirror first thing in the morning I have often been startled to think I had just seen my Dad. He's been gone 40 years now, and since his death I have realized how little I knew about him and what mattered to him. He had a hard life growing up without a mother and being responsible for his little brother. He tried his best to be a good provider for his family. When I was a young man I was so wrapped up in my own life and my own growing family that I never took the time to sit down with him and ask him about his life, and his feelings and his hopes and dreams. At the very end as he lay dying of lung cancer at a young 63 years old (and he never smoked) I should have been trying to make up for lost time with him, but I failed to do so. This has been one of the great regrets of my life.

So now I am the old guy, and my grown kids are really busy with their families. I talk with my kids more than I ever did with my own father, but I doubt that they really know me. I guess that's just the way the world works. And even though I know that someday they will be thinking that they should have taken more time with their Dad when he was alive, they don't really know that right now and my telling them would not work out either.

You learn to live your life without a lost loved one, but a part of the loss never goes away. Its now been well more than half my life that I have lived without my Dad and I often think of him and wish I had done more with our time together.

If your Dad is still alive, make the most of your situation. Don't put off until tomorrow what you could do today, because his tomorrow might not ever come. If this post gets one person to hug his Dad and ask him to really talk about his life then I would feel that maybe my hard learned lessons regarding my own father were not in vain.

 

[RoninPA]

I'm pretty lucky, my dad is still alive and kicking, abet not as high as in the past . Dad was in WWII (Army - underage when he joined at 16) then got called up in Korea when he was in the Navy Reserve. He served on CV-34, the USS Oriskany - in the Mediterrean(sp) . We see each other a couple times a week now, on Sundays I take him so he can do his grocery shopping. We go to camp during hunting season, but he doesn't hunt anymore, he just likes to get out. I've got the only large caliber rifle he has ever owned, a Winchester Model 94 .30 WCF, he bought it in 1948. It does not have any more than 150 rounds through it (he was a one shot - one kill, he didn't take the shot unless it was a clean shot, no banging away hoping for a hit). The most rounds we put through that gun at one time was when I scoped it for him in 1998. Then we put 7 rounds through it. Both him and Mom took me to the bus station when I went to basic training and both of them were at my retirement ceremony.

 

[muzzleloader]

Many of the comments above would also describe my dad, Korea era Marine (although state-side). I grew up thinking overtime was the best thing in the world, cause it allowed us a little extra. Dad was gone much too early at 66 from breathing foundry sand all those years. My kids are grown now and all successful. I guess this thread made me think how very different things can turn out for generations of a family without that father who decided he would stand up his whole life. Thanks everyone for sharing. kyle

 

[bogus bill]

My dad died in 2003 a couple months short of 90. Actually, he was probably too easy on me. Dad was one of 17 kids! I was told my grandpa was a very hard man and I think dad tried to be the opposite with me. Dad quit school I think in 3rd grade and grandpa worked him like a slave on his huge farm the way I heard it. Dad was about 6ft 5"s looked rough but was a very quite man. My folks were very strong christian`s and hard working.
I wouldn't have traded either one of them. I was luckier than I deserved.

 

[737tdi]

What a great post. My dad is still with us and going fairly strong. Born Aug. 18 1933 so a bit young for WWII, all of his brothers served save one who had multiple kids (Dad was the youngest of 14). He was the only one who graduated from college, worked his way through and graduated from the University of North Texas. I sure wish I had more time to spend with Mom and Dad, work, work, work. I'm trying to get ahead working as much overtime as I can but I would like to spend more time with them. I can't figure out the math. We meet 4 or 5 times a year for dinner or lunch. I wish it could be more but it is hard. Kinda reminds me of Chapin with "Cats in the Cradle".


Karl

 

[bogus bill]

On that working a lot of OT part: I was the poster boy for it. I was wrong. I got married late in life. I was about 38 years old when my daughter was born. Now that I was married I buckled down and thought I was a hero by working a average of 65 hours a week average. I used to work about two or three months in a row before taking a couple days off. In my case, on my job, it seemed the overtime was always there. Double shifts etc. My ex ran off with our kid and Jody who also abandoned his dying wife. I cant really say it was due to the OT but it had to be a factor. Today my daughter doesn't have time for me and we have been at odd`s for years. I barely know my grand kids because of that. I resent it. I just now seen them last week for the first time in about the last five years. My granddaughter ran off, got married and didn't tell her mother for about 4 months. Then they had a "Celebration" last Saturday after the fact. My daughter wouldn't attend it. I made the 1,500 mile trip last week to it. My ex was there. We divorced 30 years ago. I tore azz. Then I looked up my daughter and tore azz again. I told both of them separately this chise has to stop. I told them my granddaughter hasn't done one thing my daughter didn't do and her mother before her. Life is too short for this. Although I seen my daughter for a hour, I think I am still on the chise list with her. I killed myself for them years ago. I wonder what would have changed had I not lived at work. Then I lost a fortune supporting both and had to work the OT to eat after the supports. One good thing though, I met my new wife because of it.

 

[737tdi]

Bill: We are kinda of fortunate now. Both of the kids are grown and living their own lives. We bought a place about 15 years ago with the intention of building a new house on it. The house is really old and starting to nickel and dime us to death. So, I've been working as much as possible to save so we don't have to go into any debt. Pretty close now actually, plan on this next spring to start the new one. A plus is I don't work my days off, just work OT on my regular work days.

Karl

 

[graygun]

Well,I don't look like the old man and he passed in 1996 at 80. I wish he had been like Blume's or some of the other fathers mentioned. He was violent (no,not a disciplinarian) and my parents legally separated in '58.

We spent some time together in the '70s,talking,drinking etc.,but I never could get much understanding of what made him tick. Unfortunately,I think I'm not altogether unlike him.

 

[Colonel Daddy]

One of the greatest compliments anyone ever paid me was not meant to be a compliment 'cause the guy was really p.o'ed. He said "yer just like yer old man, ain't ya"! I said "in many ways I'm just like him". I said "and by the way, Earl ain't 'my old man'. I've got too much love and respect to ever use that term toward him! The guy cussed as he was turning his back and walking away. Never crossed me, or Daddy, again!

 

[32magfan]

I have quite a bit in common with some of these posts myself. My dad passed last April 4th after more than a decade fighting cancer. He was in the Navy '55-'59 and got out just before his father committed suicide in my Dad's room. He never could talk about that. He always described my grandfather as strict.
He was always very frugal. Some people could squeeze a penny until Lincoln screamed... well, pop could squeeze until a bugger flew out of his nose!! It did lead to him reloading ammo to save money so it sent us into yet another hobby together.
He married late at age 29. He and mom lost two sons in the next few years and had to sell the farm to pay the hospital / doctor bills. He bought another farm 3 miles away and partnered with my grandmother on her farm. He worked for 16 years to pay it off. The 80's were too tough to make a go farming so he got a job off the farm and farmed nights and weekends. He sold the land, kept some equipment and walked away with almost nothing after working himself nearly to death. He always found a little time for fishing or hunting with me. I went off to college and never was back home much even when I lived an hour or less away from home.

He retired in '98 after 10 years working as a prison guard. That lasted about two months and he got a job working security 4 nights a week. If we both have any real regrets, it would be the years he worked weekends and we rarely fished or hunted together due to "scheduling". Those were the last years he was healthy enough to really enjoy being out and about. After an open heart surgery and cancer treatments, pop mainly just went to his reloading room in the basement and cranked out ammo.
I know he is with the Lord and in a better place, but I miss him more than I ever could have imagined. 17 months later, I still catch myself wanting to call him about a gun or a ballgame. He taught me many things about life. I would have learned more had I listened better or tried what he advised. Some things a man has to figure out for himself. He never held the stupid things I did against me after he warned me not to but he gave me some grief to keep me grounded.

If you have loved ones that you can still have contact with, even if it is hard, there's not enough time or requires you to eat some humble pie, crow or crap.... Do It!!

I won't have the mirror experience the OP had as I was adopted but I hope I can be half the man he was. I was truly blessed to have him and I miss him dearly.

32Magfan

 

[Rick Courtright]

Hi,

I don't see it in the mirror, but pictures make me look more and more like my father each year. Sadly, I don't take that as a compliment. He was an alcoholic, we started fighting when I was 15, and before I was 23, I'd said my last words to him. He died when I was 55. To this day I catch myself correcting people who make the mistake of calling him my "Dad."

While that might sound terrible to some, I was blessed as well! I think my grandfather saw a much bigger picture than I could understand, cuz he quietly stepped up and filled in a lot of places those who had REAL Dads will recognize. I loved and respected him tremendously for doing that, learned a lot from him, and wish the photos would honor Grandpa by making me look more like him! He was 84 when he passed, and over 40 years after he left us, he's the one I miss!

So those of you who HAD good Dads, please be thankful for the twin blessings of time WITH them, and memories OF them. And those who still DO have 'em, please try to find that extra time to spend with them however you can. Just 15 more minutes to tell my grandpa one last "Thank you!" for all he did would be priceless, so I know time's value to those who still have it! Too many people end up singing Harry Chapin songs ("Cat's in the Cradle" always touches my heart, while "Taxi" reaches deep inside it.) Don't be one of them!

Rick C

 

[ronto]

My Dad took me fishing when I was 3 years old and we went every weekend until he had lung problems and could hardly walk. I have a picture of me at 3 with my first catch, a small sun fish, which he hooked on my line unbeknownst to me. He was a good man and never hit me. All I needed was "that look" and that's all it took to straighten me out. Rest in peace Pop and I'll see you in the morning.