Oh, the humiliation!

Geez!
A bunch of you folks need to look at this:

Bob Wright said:

Well, I see I'm not the only one who feels exposed and vulnerable.

Just as a matter of fact, when I entered the hopsital this time, those "gowns" were optional to me, so until I went for the "proceedure" I stayed,and slept, in a white, long tailed dress shirt, my Hanes underwear and socks, and my Wranglers. Uncouth? Maybe, but I wasn't exposed to anybody.

Bob Wright

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Did you wear a tie and make it a formal occasion?

Just under 5 years ago when they moved me from Cardiac ICU to a regular room I was issued one of those open in the back gowns. (in ICU all you had was a sheet over you... at least when visitors came.).. I was instructed by my doctor to walk down the hall to get used to be upright again and the first time I tried this it was a struggle holding the infernal IV stand with rollers and trying to keep the back of that gown some what wrapped... then some nice hospital administrator saw me and came up with what should be just normal... she gave me a 2nd gown to wear backwards....

Bob Wright said:

Home Health Care came by today, two of 'em. One occupational the other physical.

Therapist: "Show me how you sit on the toilet"
O.K., did that. I mean, how many ways is there? And then:
"Get up." Then came the big question: "Can you clean yourself or do you have ot have help?"

After that, demonstratin how to take a shower was pretty straight forward.

Home Health Care decided I don't need therapy.

Bob Wright

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They never get that close. They call me all of the time to try and make appointments. I feel great. If I need them I'll let them know. In your case I would have sat on the toilet with one foot up on the tank and the other on the TP holder just to screw with them....

I mentioned a few time about being an occasional "lab rat" for U of M's exercise physiology department.
Now days you just swallow a CorTemp "pill" to monitor internal temps while being tortured/studied. In the earlier
days you got a probe stuck a fair ways up your butt with the lead taped to a butt cheek then connected to the bundle
of wires for the rest of the monitors.

I got in trouble after my bladder scope. Walking down the hall I came to the nurses station,
I stopped and told my nurse "Thank You", she said we're as gentle as possible,
I said no, thanks for not laughing. They all did then.

I went to a urologist for an exam. Dr comes in, gloves and lines up and WHOOPIE!
I heard him talking and saw 3 interns. All 3 had the same fun.
I felt sooo cheap! LOL

Waking up from a radial prostatectomy with 6 holes in your belly and a hose you could fuel a tanker with hanging out of yer dingdong is the experience of a lifetime. I was black and blue from my chest to my crotch from being inflated with nitrogen for the procedure and I felt like I was kicked in the family jewels. Cancer is no fun...

When I was being prepped for my quad bypass,2 women I had never seen before and shaved my entire body.
When you go in for that,check your modesty at the door

JimC1953 said:

The first time I had to endure a colonoscopy the doctor who was filling in was a client of mine, as were the two nurses who were assisting. First and only clients to see "all of me"

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When my husband had a colonoscopy a number of years ago he requested mood music...Dueling Banjos!

Watertender said:

Waking up from a radial prostatectomy with 6 holes in your belly and a hose you could fuel a tanker with hanging out of yer dingdong is the experience of a lifetime. I was black and blue from my chest to my crotch from being inflated with nitrogen for the procedure and I felt like I was kicked in the family jewels. Cancer is no fun...

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BTDT. Will be 15 years in May. Still alive and kickin'.

Oh, and BTW, it's radical, nor radial.

crstrode said:

BTDT. Will be 15 years in May. Still alive and kickin'.

Oh, and BTW, it's radical, nor radial.

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Radical it is! I have had further treatments and it has moved around but I am still kicking too.

hittman said:

I think at one point I had a catheter 12 Mondays in a row ….. not hard for that to make a fella cranky LOL.

Now when I go for a follow up I'm shucking off my britches while the nurse is still gabbing about the procedure,

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Yep. Been there, done that. I've had seven back surgeries. Three months before the last one the nerves to my bladder were affected and I had to do the catheter bit. The nurses "trained" me. If I were 50 years younger it might have been more fun.

I seem to get kidney stones every 2-3 years. The last time the dr told me this stone was too big to pass and I needed to get it blasted. Thankfully I was asleep. Then with prostate issues they were talking about putting a camera up my ding a long to find out if I had a prostate problem or bladder problem. Then they wanted to shave down my prostate. Simple solution, move to Alaska where no drs don't know anything about me. These people are desperate for money if they want to do those kinds of things to people.

larry8 said:

This is funny. Try living in China for a few months. In areas that do not have many foreigners or tourists, the people walk around naked think nothing of it.

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Saw some topless female indigenous natives in a rural mountain village when my family was stationed in Taiwan during the late 1950s.
No big deal there at all.

Watertender said:

Did you wear a tie and make it a formal occasion?

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I'll bet Bob still had his nice Blackhawk .44 strapped on.

I know what you all mean. Both my GP and her PA are females. Getting my annual physical is a little stressful. *s* "Turn you head and cough." is bad enough but "Bend over and put your elbows on the exam table." is even more embarrassing. I've gotten used to it by now but still get that "Uh oh." feeling every time. BTW, the PA is a really hot young woman so it takes some "extra concentrating" sometimes, if you know what I mean.

That sounds somewhat similar to the 'test' I had to pass prior to release from the hospital after hip replacement. Good Grief folks are worried about whether you can wipe your butt?
When MIL was having problems, she couldn't even find the bathroom. Now that's a problem that requires attention.

hittman said:

Oh, ask about treatments for bladder cancer.
Chippendale dancers have had fewer women see their junk.

And the joy of being from a small town.
One nurse is the daughter of a friend from high school.
Another remembered me from when I volunteered for "playground duty" as she and my son went to grade school together.

In all fairness …. All were very good to me and great at their jobs. Ya just gotta get past resigning your humility. It's only business to them.

Getting old ain't for sissy's.

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And so is THAT when you got the nickname "Shorty?"

This one isn't funny...it's scary (at least to me).

In 2006 I had S-1-L3-4-5 spinal fusion at 7 am. Post-surgery, my lower spine is permanently affixed to my hip, all tied together with a titanium erector set type brace screwed into the vertebrae. I awoke from anesthesia about 1 pm. I did NOT feel good. Pain meds for the rest of the day. At 11 pm, the nurse came in and announced, "OK. It's time for you to walk." WALK? Uh-uh. NO. [Lucky for her, her son and mine were on the same baseball team, so we knew each other. Otherwise, she'd have heard some dark blue language.]

But she insisted I walk. So with her help, I swung my legs out of bed, rolled over and sat upright. PAIN. Then with her help I gently stood up. PAIN. Then she said, OK...walk. [I mean, is she an apostle trying to do miracles?] Well, I took that painful first step. Then more steps, and ultimately walking around the hallway outside my room. And during the entire walk I feared, "What if the erector set comes unscrewed? Will I die immediately? Or will it take a few minutes?"

Getting back into bed was even more adventure. But I made it. We did this twice a day for the next two days. Then they announced, "OK. You're ready to go home." Uhhhhhhgggggg.

Slept on a couch in the den for the first week because my bed was too high to get into/out of. So I'd swing my legs onto the floor, and roll myself out. The worst times were at night in the dark, when I needed to get up and hit the head. True adventure.

A month later I'm walking downstairs. I slipped on the stairs and slid (on my back) all the way to the first floor. Wiggled my fingers and toes and concluded I hadn't re-broken my back. Then I yelled at my bride, "We're selling this f*#king house and moving into a one-story." So we sold our house, bought a lot and had a home built for us that could accommodate my "needs."

Seventeen years later, we still live in that one-story house. It's been a good one.