TELEPHONE POLE INSTALLERS

[Scout943]

Telus
needed to hire a team of telephone pole installers for Fort McMurray
and the boss had to choose between a team of two guys from
Ireland and a team of two Polish guys.

So the
boss met with both teams and said "Here's what we'll do. Each
team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The
team that installs the most phone poles gets the
job."

Both teams
headed right out. At end of
the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came back and the boss
asked them how many they had installed. They said that it was tough
going, but they'd put in twelve.

Forty-five
minutes later, Bud and Buddy, the Polish guys came back in and
they were totally exhausted.

The boss
asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys
install?"

Bud, the
team leader, wiped his brow and sighed, "Buddy and me, we got three
in.

"The boss
gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in
twelve!"

"Yeah,"
said Bud, "but you should see how much they left sticking out of the
ground!"

 

[bogus bill]

Two polish guys got lost deer hunting. Gus tells Otto shoot three times in the air, I have heard that's what to do . Otto shot, waited and there was no answering shot. He tried again. Still nothing. Gus says, shoot again. Otto says I am out of arrows!

Gus and Otto shot a deer. They were dragging it through the woods but it kept getting hung up in the brush by its antlers. Another come by and said "drag it by its hind legs". They said we aint going that direction!

Know how chise sounds when it hit`s the fan? Polack!

Know why they spell Polish and Polish the same? Because they don't know chise from Shinola.

 

[Bull Barrel]

Why do Polish names end with "ski"?
They cant spell "toboggan".

 

[ph_redhawk]

Those are hooters.

 

[LDM]

Stosh and Walt go deer hunting. Stosh accidentally shoots Walt out in the woods.

At the hospital, the doctor comes out of the operating room and tells Stosh that Walt is dead.

Stosh is distraught. "i'll never forgive myself! How am I going to tell his family? Doc, is there anything I could have done that might have saved him?

The doctor replied, "Well, it might have helped if you hadn't field dressed him before you brought him here."

 

[RonSwanson]

I once heard a speaker at a conference say that he loved to tell big dumb Swede jokes, until his boss told him that any joke that might offend someone of any ethnic background was unacceptable. He said that he researched extensively looking for a safe target for his jokes, and discovered that apparently there were no remnants of the ancient Hittites.

so he started his joke, "There was a big dumb Hittite named Sven....."