Suggestions from dog owners

[volshooter]

My daughter works at a pound. In November she brought a mixed breed 3 year old spayed small dog to my house. As soon as the dog came into the living room she ran to me and jumped into my lap. There were several other folks there.
I fell in love with the little dog and kept her. She has not made any mistakes and minds very well. She sleeps with me, very loving dog.
I have a young woman/non official daughter with 2 kids living with us. They are 9 months and 3 years old. My dog loves these kids and watches over them when I am gone. But she is jealous when I am holding the kid/s. Not uncommon for me to have both kids and my dog in my lap. I was playing with the youngest boy today and my dog kept trying to get between us.
I am becoming worried. I know she will not hurt them, but how can I have time with the kids without my little dog getting upset. She gets petted more than all the rest together.
Has the bonding between us gotten to close? She will not mind any one but me. I am puzzled. Just this evening she tried to get between my wife and I hugging.

Can some one explain or help?

 

[contender]

I recently saw a news story on the net about how a pet, especially dogs, can be very jealous of "their" owner. I do not recall anything about advice on how to deal with it though.

 

[mykeal]

What's going on is the dog is trying to assert a higher level in the pack hierarchy. It established a position of second only to you early, and sees the others as rivals to that position, so it needs to force your attention back to it to ensure it still has that place.

What's needed is some serious, and difficult, training. I say difficult because you've already (unconsciously) allowed it to get away with this assertive behavior a number of times.

I'd suggest some private obedience lessons from a professional, but that can be expensive and may not be worth it. You may be able to do it yourself, but it will take serious dedication and absolute consistency.

You need to firmly and consistently reject the dog's attempts to assert itself into the relationships by setting it back down and firmly saying, "No!". This will need to be done over and over again until it gets the message - it will take several dozen repeats over a fairly long time, and you cannot deviate from the procedure even once or you'll need to start all over. You should also be sure to pick the dog up, or call it into your lap, as soon as you set the others down, and praise it with undivided attention for several moments. Then set it back down and praise it again. It would also help to institute a training program in basic dog obedience, such as sit, stay and lay down 'tricks', complete with treats and praise for doing as told. Taking a basic obedience class will help with learning the techniques if you can arrange it.

Small, mixed breed dogs are often very difficult to train; this will not be an easy task but if done correctly it will be well worth it. Both you and the dog will be much happier for it. The dog will learn its place and the anxiety will go away, leaving a happy and content pet.

 

[Faux Paws]

Vol,
First, thanks for posting. You may save all of your loved ones, human and canine, from serious problems.

Second: You have to nip this in the bud right now. YOU make the rules regarding affection/nearness.

Third: Think like a dog. If a b**ch is feeding a litter and one pup bites a teat, she'll nudge it away. If it hurts, she'll scream, grab the offender by the scruff, and pitch it away. Dogs understand this.

Nobody wants to hurt a dog. But you're in charge here, and your human inhabitants out rank your dog. Not addressing behavior of kids to dogs here, which complicates things....at least inform the kids that dogs are social predators and not babies in fur coats.

Fourth: So, as they say, the time to discipline a dog is when they're THINKING about it (you'll know, if it's your dog), grab it by the scruff (as mommy would), give a firm SHAKE, surprise with a very loud "AHN-ANH!!!", drop it, and WALK AWAY. Just IGNORE the dog for a minute. Don't be emotional. Be neutral, as would mommy dog. It's just layin' down the law.

If you do it right, you won't need to repeat.

Info above about contacting a local obedience club is good. Plenty in TN, if your volshooter is any indication.

I've taught dog training classes for twenty years (geez, really been that long). We love dogs because we speak the same language. Just get into "pack mode" and lay down the law.

Lotsa luck!

FP

 

[gramps]

I concur with mykeal. Also putting the dog in a crate or the bathroom can give you some space/time til the training kicks in. Good luck.
gramps

 

[Kevin]

We have a cat who does that. If my daughter is in my lap and we're reading a book. That darn cat will try to weasel his way right up there with us.

I actually like it. He's a family member. I don't blame him.

How big is this dog I don't think you said..

 

[picketpin]

Your are Alfa male. Your dog understood that and became Beta in the "pack". The kids are threatening her position as mentioned. YOU have to assert yourself as ALFA, this she will understand but it's NOT something you get by treats and rewards but rather by asserting yourself. IF you want her to lay quietly while you hug the kids then YOU have to assert that is what YOU as Alfa want.

Good luck it should work out for everybody including the dog with any luck as long as YOU establish PACK order of rank.

Maybe you teach her that when you have the kids in your lap or next to you, HER place is at your feet quietly watching.

RWT

 

[ArmedinAZ]

Besides the alpha beta stuff you're the center of the dog's universe and anyone else who gets close to you threatens that to the dog. My mother has a Dachshund that she holds constantly, takes everywhere, it sleeps in her bed etc but rather than being a sweetie it's a mean nasty SOB with everyone else. She got it as a pup and made it this way. She's 84 and it will live as long as she does, maybe.

Do something to back your dog off before it bites one of the kids.

 

[KWYJIBO]

I concur with everything Faux Paws and others have said. Part of the problem is that you're letting the dog sleep with you. This is not appropriate for an animal that must understand its place (loved and appreciated, but held in lower regard than the human children). I also question the wisdom of letting it sit in your lap--this is not necessarily a problem in every case, but with this dog it probably contributes to the misunderstanding about everyone's relative position in the "pack."

As others have said, you need to take firm actions to teach this dog that you're the Alpha, kids are next in the pecking order, and he is last. It is possible to love and nurture him and also send this message, but you will have to be very careful about all your actions, facial expressions, vocal tones, etc. Dogs are remarkably adept at reading all these nonverbal messages, and I suspect he's developed his inappropriate attitude because of how you've expressed yourself through them in the past.

Good luck!

 

[Daveboone]

it is very easy to allow habits to form that appear harmless, but lead to other issues, as mentioned before. Crate training any dog from early on gives both you and the dog a refuge. Although you may not care for the suggestion, breaking the habit of allowing the dog on you lap/chair, eliminates the "resource guarding" that the dog is doing. You being the resource. the difficult part of this is consistently and firmly applying your will to the dogs behavior. Oddly enough, the smaller the dog, the more trouble (or lack of willingness on owners behalf) folks seem to have in recognizing undesirable dog habits, or applying corrective/preventive training.

 

[Jimbo357mag]

Good, timely post and advise. I see I have some work to do with our little dog as well.

 

[ronto]

My Blue Heeler gets jealous even when I talk on the phone and is never more than 5 yards away from me. That's why they are called "shadow dogs". The tendency to be an overly "one man dog" has much to do with the breed and may be difficult or impossible to overcome.

 

[volshooter]

Very good advice, thank you. When I am holding or playing with either or both the kids and she tries to join I tell her "easy" in the daddy voice. She interacts with all of us very softly. I have to remind her being every 30 seconds or so. I want her to be a part of the pack but know her place. When I am trying to hold or play with one of the kids she tries to join and I tell her no or back. She does this for a minute or so then tries again. When I am not around she will allow the kids to love on her, her choice. She will lay with the kids and roll on her back to get petted. She is great with them.
This morning I had my wife and daughter with me, letting them give commands to her. She responded very good. I hope she will do that when I am not there. I thought by being there and not saying anything would show her they speak for me.

I love my little dog, give or take 25 lbs. She has brought such joy to my life. Joy that I lost years ago when my cat died. She is smart and soooo loveable, but the first time she shows any aggression toward any of the kids, she is gone.
Yoking her down by the neck is unnecessary as she presents it to me and the kids.
I guess it just bothering me cause it is like I have another wife. :shock:
I have the 3 year old giving her commands rewarded with treats 100% success, with me there.
Love to hear more advice and I will keep updates. Thank all'yall. From East Tn, Rick

 

[ArmedinAZ]

My Blue Heeler gets jealous even when I talk on the phone and is never more than 5 yards away from me. That's why they are called "shadow dogs". The tendency to be an overly "one man dog" has much to do with the breed and may be difficult or impossible to overcome.

Or velcro dog. I have a blue dog, best dog I've ever owned, and my son has his brother. My dog is fine with people but will challenge any dog that comes close. Mine isn't a velcro dog but his brother is.

Dogs train easily. WE'RE the problem.

 

[ronto]

My Blue Heeler gets jealous even when I talk on the phone and is never more than 5 yards away from me. That's why they are called "shadow dogs". The tendency to be an overly "one man dog" has much to do with the breed and may be difficult or impossible to overcome.

Or velcro dog. I have a blue dog, best dog I've ever owned, and my son has his brother. My dog is fine with people but will challenge any dog that comes close. Mine isn't a velcro dog but his brother is.

Dogs train easily. WE'RE the problem.

I agree to a point. Some dogs have been selectively bread over the centuries to accentuate a certain trait inherent in all dogs. Point, flush game, retrieve, herd, fight, track, etc. A dog bread to specialize in any of these traits would be difficult to untrain. So looking at the big picture over the centuries, we are the problem.

 

[muzzleloader]

It's unfortunate the children are so young. Some time spent being walked, heeled and corrected at the end of a lead by the kids would help much IMO. I bet your local vet would be a good resource as well. Good luck volshooter and remember, good to train the kids about dogs (foreign and domestic) too. Keep them little faces away from the nipping end.

 

[Viking Queen]

If you teach her that she is ONLY allowed up in your lap when invited, or only on the furniture, or bed, or in the car, when invited, this will go along way towards teaching her respect and not to butt in where not wanted.

Teach her to "wait" then after a little bit, teach her "up" and pat the lap or desired location. It gives her discipline, time to pause and think, and that "desired place" is yours to give or take away. . . As you desire. This sets boundaries for her in a very good way.

I have taught every single one of my dogs this behavior from the first day in my home. It works well to establish who "owns" all those desired locations and sets boundaries in a clear yet non forceful way. As with children, consistency with rules is important.

Enjoy that pup, sounds like she is going to fit in just fine once she understands the rules.

Blessings, Viking Queen

 

[volshooter]

Things are going very good. This little dog must of had some training before I got her. She does wait till prompted before jumping on my lap. I have my wife and daughters giving her commands when I am there and she performs well. She does understand "wait" and will sit until I say different. This little pooch understands and minds better than any of my kids did.
She is very friendly towards people, including the UPS lady. Today my daughter brought over her ferret. I had Isabel on a leash and she puffed up (she looks like a wild hog with the full Mohawk). I touched her and comforted her saying "it's ok", a few minutes later she was fine with it and wanted to play with the ferret. We let them smell and touch each other for a minute or two, it was funny, but nice.

 

[Faux Paws]

Crikey, Vol,

There's some advice from folks on this forum that would cost you some big bucks from "animal behaviorists" in major metropolitan areas.

Given that we're gun owners and, for utility or fun, use our dogs for their intended uses (hunting/retrieving/herding/working...am I forgetting any of the (not as useful) American Kennel Club groups?)

Remember that you're providing this animal with the ultimate welfare scheme: free room, food, and health care. Litter to grave. All you're demanding is basic companion animal obedience.

Strongly agree with the advice above regarding small children, who, under age 12 or so, do not understand that dogs are not people in fur coats.

One tactic you can use is, when arriving home from work when the kids are at home, place doggo in a sit-stay while your FIRST greet your children. That sets the pack order. After you've hugged the kiddos, then greet doggo, with plenty of her favorite TREATS!

Which of your children is interested in taking care of the dog? There's usually one in the family. Put her/him in charge of feeding, brushing, caring for the dog, supervised, of course. You're still the ultimate provider.

Never forget that dogs don't have agendas, aren't plotting your demise, scheming behind the scenes. They don't have the brain structure that we do. They're incapable of a "desire to please." We have a unique relationship that gives us something (protection/food/transportation/freedom from vermin/basic companionship) in exchange for their part of the bargain: Don't bite.

Please get in touch with your local AmKenClub dog club and inquire about training classes.

Looks you have a golden opportunity to have the "best dog ever" and train the next generation in responsible dog ownership.

Thanks to all who've responded to this thread.

FP

 

[volshooter]

Last night I told the little dog no to sleeping with me and pointed to her doggie bed. She sit in it and stared at me for a few minutes with those sad eyes. I took off my tee shirt and put it in her bed. She went right down on it and stayed all night without a whine! I had to wake her this morning to take her out. This is one smart pooch, she does understand things.
I made the mistake of putting her first from the beginning. Still sad to think that some one out there lost her. She was brought into the pound with fishing line tangled on her. Posters were put out but no response. She is so great that the pound gave her an extra time limit before putting her down. That is when my daughter stepped in and brought her to me for a overnight.
Really going to pay attention to suggestions posted about the kids, thank you!

 

[ArmedinAZ]

Sounds like you've got a great dog there. All she needs to know is what's expected and what the rules are and I bet you'll not have a bit of trouble with the kids. Not many things in life after family bring joy like a good dog.