Living large these days. Half and Half in my coffee.

[Tallbald]

A dollar pincher from my early years as I watched Mama and Daddy work their fingers to the bone to provide my family with all that was needed, and much that was just wanted, I learned that self- denial of frivolities was just sometimes the way life was. I grew up, worked very hard. I got an education as both an RN and a Journeyman Toolmaker that allowed me to switch back and forth as the economy rode the roller coaster of the Carter recession years, the Post-DRG Guidelines nursing cutbacks, the rocking Reagan years and all the other economic cycles we many here experienced.
Usually finding some reason to deny spending money on myself, while fairly freely enjoying my spouse and children having more than was absolutely needed was, I suppose, my way of acknowledging to the universe that I knew everything could go away almost overnight as it did for my parents in the mid-1970's. I guess it offered me some sense of security that I'd never have guilt feelings that my lavish lifestyle contributed to my economic demise.
But you know, about 6 months ago I treated myself on a whim to one of those fancy things I had, for 55 years, viewed as a luxury a simple man like myself could forego. At the grocery store one day I spied a small bottle of a house brand half and half creamer. In a selfish moment of weakness I put it in my cart. "Well there's a self-centered $1.49 I won't get back" I thought. And I remember that thought.
It's important to say that I'm the only coffee drinker in the house these days, but it didn't start that way. As a child of age 4, my parents began letting me have a cup of coffee with them. Hey. It was 1962. Really just a tiny mug of coffee with milk to cool it off, I relished being with my folks early in the morning and listening to their chatter. But I was included in the mix. I belonged.
Mama bought milk to cream our coffee. Half and Half was for restaurants and was poured from little stainless steel covered pitchers popular in the days before fears of random tampering in public gathering spots.
I bought that half and half 6 months ago and have, each morning and afternoon, relished watching it swirl into my coffee. It makes my drink taste rich and full-bodied as some ad long ago claimed for their particular product.
Living large means different things to different people. I've found my own guilty pleasure, albeit at age 61. I'm sure that friends here have similar stories of awakening. Came a time I decided to treat myself just a little. I wish though I had still had living parents and a living sibling with whom I could share my experience.
Thanks for letting me run on. Don

 

[coach]

I drank coffee black for most of my life until a stomach problem forced me to give it up (and bourbon too). :( After a few years I discovered coffee didn’t bother me as long as I put a little half and half in it. I could never count on fresh milk being in the house, but a small container of half and half would last me quite a while. At some point I tried light cream or table cream and liked it more because a little goes a long way.
I realize your post is about more than just coffee and I too find missing the little things about life and folks past.

 

[nekvermont]

Years and years ago we started using evaporated milk in our coffee and stuck with it.

 

[bnewberry]

I enjoyed your vignette. Without the backstory, a splash of half and half in a coffee cup would not be as interesting. This brought to mind my own parents and how poor we were. It made me appreciate the blessings I have in comparison. Thanks!

 

[Pat-inCO]

Came a time I decided to treat myself just a little.

Well Don . . . you are not alone. My "living large" is real Maple Syrup. Not the
imitation stuff, nor pancake syrup, but REAL Maple Syrup (you know, what Roger
Miller used to call maple surple :wink: ).
Found a REALLY good source for $12/32oz.

Been in AZ for over a year and one half and have just about finished the first jug. 8)

P.S. Had some on some waffles this morning. :D

 

[Kevin]

Tallbald, that’s a nice story, thanks for sharing.

Both my wife and I grew up poor. We are very concerned about where we spend money and are always thinking of how we can spend less and save more. But, I do have to admit, she’s better at it than I am.

Some ways we save is by not eating out so often, and we recently dropped cable television. Another way I started to save money is by not going to Starbucks anymore. But black coffee is the best anyway!

It’s amazing how easy it is to save just by spending less.

 

[daveg.inkc]

I mix 1 can evaporated milk, 1 can condensed milk for my coffee. I add vanilla flavor. Sometimes baking cocoa. Cheap coffee creamer.

 

[Taterman]

Great story Don. It was a good read.

 

[powder smoke]

Years and years ago we started using evaporated milk in our coffee and stuck with it.

Same here my parents always used evaporated milk for coffee, I like it!
Guess you just get use to something and stick with it. ps

 

[bogus bill]

Until I got remarried I never bought a bottle of water. I thought that`s crazy to buy water when I can drink it for free out of the tap. Some areas have good water and others it doesn't taste good. Now we have it all the time. I doubt my folks ever tasted water out of a plastic store bought bottle. Folks never threw out anything. Mom died in 1993 then dad in 2003. I had just retired was single when he got Alzheimer. I went home to care for him for six months as at first he refused to go to assisted living. Finally he agreed and I had to get the old homestead cleaned out to auction off. It was almost the worst six months of my life! Hauling off tons of stuff to the dump and goodwill almost daily. Now I am old and in bad shape myself. Wife hates all the stuff I have accumulated and is after me to thin it out. Thats odd to me as she was brought up much poorer than I. But then again she is almost 17 years younger.

 

[vito]

I grew up poor, and maybe that is why I don't regret giving myself the little things that make life enjoyable. I'm not talking about spending or worse, borrowing to buy a luxury boat or a high priced sports car, nor even to take frequent lavish vacations that would wipe out what I have put aside for my "old age". But life is too short to worry about every nickel and dime, and to deny oneself the things that bring a sense of comfort or joy to the challenges of life on this Earth. I've personally known people that became so enslaved by their own habit of not spending money, of saving every possible penny, often with the thought of possibly becoming more generous with themselves when they get old, only to find that no day of rain is ever enough to qualify as that Rainy Day when money can be spent and no age is ever old enough to stop the life long habit of pinching pennies. Some of those folks struggle far beyond what is necessary, and the end result is that what they have accumulated ends up going to some relatives that use that as a way of indulging themselves in luxuries. The irony of that is sad beyond words.

So I live nicely, but not with extravigence. I help out my adult kids when things are tough, such as when my son had the double whammy of being almost wiped out in a nasty divorce, then losing his job where he had been employed for over 20 years. But I've told my kids that there likely will not be any inheritance for them unless I kick the bucket, and my wife does the same, before our time.

Each person has to make these decisions for themselves, but I think it a shame when people live miserably, never using their funds to make their life more enjoyable, only to end up funding truly frivolous spending by their heirs.

And for what its worth, while half and half is nice, heavy cream is even better! Good coffee, with real cream, is an affordable luxury that most of us can find a way to afford.

 

[bogus bill]

My dad and mother lived "close to the chest". Both had jobs, tithed but watched their money. I and my sister was raised very religious. My sister married and her and her husband got into Scientology. That killed my folks as it`s the opposite to the way we were raised. My mother made it her life`s mission to even study Scientology to be able to argue against it to my sister. Mom died in 1993. My folks were cut off from even seeing their six grand kids. Dad died ten years later. While he had very little contact with sisters family yet he wanted to be fair. I and sister inherited evenly. My sisters husband died young, dad later. My sister inherited quite a bit, gave all of it to Scientology and has to live with her daughter and family! My folks lived fairly frugal and why? It would have killed them to know all the money went to L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology whom they hated with a purple passion!
My BIL was a lab tech in a heart hospital in the Los Angeles area. My sister dropped him off at work and shortly he dropped dead in the hospital lab with expert heart doctors working on him immediately! When my folks drove out for the funeral my dad told me that a few days prior it had got so bad that he prayed to God do whatever it takes to bring back the family even if it met that "Tony" had to go! A few days later he died!
Tony's father flew out for the funeral. He was the same faith as I and my folks. Also a few of his sons. The funeral was preached by a Scientologist. Tony's dad shoved the preacher aside and preached his own son`s funeral! He told all the Scientologist`s that his son was in hell etc!! I asked one of my nephews where Adam was as I lost track of him during the service and we had been friends as youths. He said Adam is chasing the preacher down Hollywood boulevard! Both father and son were wrestlers when young.
There is suppose to be a moral to this story and thread but I forgot what it was. Maybe you can figure it out.

 

[WendyZXZ]

That is a fine story!

 

[Wyandot Jim]

Great story. Brings back a lot of memories of being REAL POOR.
I remember in the 1957 depression that my Dad made $3500 for the year to support a family of 6. No we never had anything but milk for coffee when available. Also you could feed a family of 6 with tomato soup made with water not milk at .10$ a can and Kraft Mac. Dinner at .10$ a box.
We ate a lot of it along with rice. Funny I still like Kraft Dinner.

 

[bogus bill]

I remember mother feeding us tomato`s on toast. My dad worked swing and mom worked days. My school was right across the road. Dad would fix lunch and he loved kraft dinner. I gagged on it. I recall him forcing me to eat it. To this day I wont touch it. During the war my mom raised me and my sister alone in our country general store that we lived over. At the end of the war my uncle came home and lived with us for awhile. He was cleaning out the last of a ice cream can when more was delivered. He said here kid, have some vanilla ice cream. It was cottage cheese. I hate cottage cheese to this day!

 

[sfhogman]

I remember those evenings when Dad had to work late...those evenings my brother and I would have bread and canned gravy for dinner.
Probably just as well. Mom was a terrible cook...

 

[Colonialgirl]

I confess; It takes TWO tea bags to make my cup of tea, plus some sweet and low along with a dollop of 1/2&1/2.
Living in Hawaii in 1947-48 the shipping unions went on strike and we got Frozen milk from the Commissary (UGH!!!!) and ate a lot of SPAM that the Navy flew in for the commissary.

 

[kramden]

Lots of hot dogs and beans when I was a kid. Also you eat whatever we have. Didn't waste anything. Good way to be raised. Learn to value and be grateful for everything.

 

[Selena]

It's the little things that give life it's flavor. As my dad would say... you don't have to worry about keeping the kids in shoes and all the notes are paid off... You have paid your dues and you deserve it. I hope that when I am 61 I'll be able to brew tea instead of using bags.

 

[contender]

Don, you & I are the same age.

I grew up in a restaurant,, that served half & half in those stainless containers,, ALWAYS kept chilled. And,,, if I were a coffee drinker,, half & half is what I'd have to have. Never really acquired the taste for it.

But my Dad lived the Great Depression & knew what being poor & hungry really was. (He was born in 1914,,, & a teen when it hit!) But,, as he grew out of it along with a lot of the country, he stayed frugal,, yet,, knew how to enjoy little pleasures,, all while NOT wasting anything. He taught us to not be wasteful, yet not to deny ourselves good food. He insisted half & half be served at our restaurant.

 

[jgt]

I grew up poor. I use to crawl under the house in the middle of hot days to stay cool. I found a bunch of Ball canning jars under there. I took one and was washing it to use for a water glass. My mother saw it and ask where I got it. When I told her she ask if there were any more under there. I said there was. She asked me if I would be willing to crawl back under there and get the rest of them. My mother sacrificed a lot for us, so naturally I said I would. When I was done, she took them into the kitchen and was washing them as delighted as if I gave her a new diamond. She bought lids and rings the next trip to the store and went to canning the stuff in our garden as soon as she got them. Her mother came to stay with us and she was the original survivalist. She came from Putnam county Tn to Oklahoma walking behind a wagon. She made rugs from scraps of material from left over sewing projects or old clothes. She made bread pudding from left over bread. Mock apple pies from soda crackers. When I brought home rabbits or doves she made them into wonderful fare to eat for supper. We were poor, but I just never knew it until I grew up and went into the service. My mother, sister, and grandmother all sewed, crocheted, cooked, canned, and reupholstered our furniture. I always had clean clothes to wear and food in my belly. We only lived on one rented acre, but it was used to produce enough food to give away some to friends in town. It killed me to see my mother sacrifice to the extent she did to raise us, but I got to spoil her when I got grown. She washed our clothes on a rub board in the bath tub and ironed them every night while we listened to the Silvertone radio from Sears. When her boss gave us a ringer washing machine she was going to throw away, my sister and I would wash and starch the clothes and hang them on the line. My mother would iron them at night after working all day at her job. She was a wonderful mother that made sure we knew she loved us. My grandmother was the best grandmother I could have wished for. I came to be proud of being raised the way I was. My mother took us to church ever time they opened the doors. She was kind to others and generous to a fault. My fathers father died when I was nine. The thing I remember most about him is he taught me to keep my word. He said all you own in this world is your word. Everything else can be taken from you one way or another, but not your word. If you do not keep it, you are the poorest of the poor. If you keep it, you are never poor. I would not trade my life for any other.

 

[toysoldier]

And for what its worth, while half and half is nice, heavy cream is even better! Good coffee, with real cream, is an affordable luxury that most of us can find a way to afford.

My meals are still often determined by what's marked down, I buy generic when the name brand stuff really isn't any better, and I buy quality clothing at the thrift shops. But my coffee has heavy cream, which I sometimes use on my cereal, too. Kept small, guilty pleasures really aren't guilty.

 

[Tallbald]

I've really enjoyed and appreciate the thoughtful and broadly sharing replies here. Thank you my friends. I suspected I was among kindred spirits. It's always nice to learn that ones thoughts, experiences and belief system are not isolated.
Wishing good to all. Don

 

[Rook]

If the day ever comes that I consider half and half to be a luxury I hope somebody just shoots me and puts me out of my misery. :roll:

 

[Taterman]

If the day ever comes that I consider half and half to be a luxury I hope somebody just shoots me and puts me out of my misery. :roll:

Vote for Bernie or Biden and you may get your wish.

 

[Rumrunner]

Great story. I'll be 67 next month and can relate to all of this, as I imagine many in this age group can.

 

[muzzleloader]

All Good stories here. My dad would tell of eating dinner as a kid and his parents wouldn’t even sit down until after the kids were done. He worked a tough job in a foundry that ended up killing him at 66. So we had it easier growing up. Same for mom’s folks who farmed through the depression. Grandpa even made grandma walk into town to return fabric for an apron. Even so, they toke in kids who’s folks couldn’t afford to feed em.
It does make you think many people who consider themselves poor today really just lack things they want. People can confuse lazy with bad luck.

 

[Tallbald]

I think that growing up experiencing the economic loss of going from a two income family, to nearly losing our home and making it on about 70 dollars a week made me better capable of surviving tough times thereafter. Thank goodness we had a small farm. And rabbits everywhere. And a garden. I grew up wanting to help take care of my folks, work hard for what I have, and being grateful for everything good that comes my way. I wouldn't change much of anything. Even told my folks how much I loved and appreciated them. I told them often.
Thanks for sharing here friends.
Don

 

[Pat-inCO]

People can confuse lazy with bad luck.

Sad, but very true.

Now if we could just get millennials to listen. :roll: . :roll: . :roll:

 

[Selena]

People can confuse lazy with bad luck.

Sad, but very true.

Now if we could just get millennials to listen. :roll: . :roll: . :roll:

OK, I'm fighting off a rant here but keep in mind that I am a millennial. I just won't mention one of the people I went to school with telling me I just got lucky being born into a family with money when she's sporting a number of $100 tattoos and wearing brand new 150 dollar shoes while I'm walking around in a pair of 6 year old Justin boots covered with... uh... animal by-product and windburned arms.