How much do you think a Sparrow can s*** inside a locked vehicle?

[Cholo]

Let me tell you, it's nothing short of amazing!

I only used my van to run to the store to get a battery for my F-150. I came home, put the new battery in my PU, and parked the van in the street.

Later, I look out and there was what looked like a Sparrow fluttering in my van's right outside mirror. Happens all the time, except this bird landed on the grab rail inside the vehicle. What the...

I opened the right door; it wouldn't fly out. I opened the left door and it flew up under the dash. Great...there it fluttered. I turned on the AC full bore towards the floor, and there it fluttered, still. Let me just leave the windows open and it should find its way out. Flap flap flap under my dash. Now, rain's moving in... I set my phone's alarm to warn me in an hour to shut the van's windows. Riiing...

I peek out my window and nothing. Then I saw it flying around inside I opened both of the front doors and rear doors. I waited, and it flew out the back and into the tree next to my driveway; I'm sure just to s*** on my brand new week old vehicle. Let me check out the damage...

That little rascal s*** on both front seats multiple times, all over the dashboard, both window sills, now on to the cargo area. It s*** on everydamnthing I had left in the front 25% of my van behind the seats, and the cargo mat from front to rear. How is this even possible???

I cleaned up maybe 35% of it with baby wipes and gave up. Tomorrow's another day, and The Bird Man of Georgia would do it again---for a sparrow. I really like birds.

Just don't get me started on Cowbirds, Grackles and Crows...

 

[Watertender]

Birdie, birdie in the sky...
Drop some whitewash in my eye...
I won't pout, I won't cry..
I'm just glad that cows can't fly!!!
(Couldn't resist)

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

Sorry Cholo, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you!!!

 

[fiasconva]

I know what you mean. My cat caught a blue jay one time and ran in the house with it. It got loose and we chased that sucker all over the house trying to catch it and get it back outside. It crapped all over the house flying around in panic mode before I caught it. Hard to believe a bird that size could hold that much feces. It was everywhere. I'm just glad no one thought to video me chasing and catching that bird with my big old landing net.

 

[arfmel]

I returned home from a weeklong trip out of town to find a dead sparrow in my kitchen sink. Evidently he had gotten in when I was loading my truck for the trip and I locked him up inside the house. He made an impressive mess various places around the house, mostly on windowsills and furniture near windows. I guess he died from thirst.

Based on this, I’d estimate that a little bird could poop at least eleventy seven times in a vehicle.

 

[nekvermont]

Do you know what that white stuff in bird poop is?


It's bird poop, too.

 

[Cholo]

I'm convinced that bird s*** is like rattlesnake venom. They only release enough to get the job done, but there's lots more where that came from. If they miss your freshly waxed car on the first 3 attempts they'll get it on successive tries.

A week ago yesterday I brought a new car home in the evening. By the next morning it looked like an Osprey had shotgunned a load that went from the windshield to the back hatch and all points in between, including the sides! What-the-hell?

LOL

 

[JPGLSG1234]

That's why they call them shitbirds....

 

[Watertender]

Cholo, I can remember seeing a white Cadillac convertible with the top down parked under a mulberry tree. The carnage was impressive and I wish I had a picture of it to share. I think the owner was drunk and would have liked to see his reaction when he saw what had happened.

 

[WendyZXZ]

Imagine a newlywed couple flies to Hawaii and decides to get busy on the beaches, those beaches are in part fish poop, so along comes a native islander and tells them you are bumping ugly in fish caca!

 

[JPGLSG1234]

Wendy are you re-living a bad memory or did this happen to a friend of yours

 

[WendyZXZ]

Wendy are you re-living a bad memory or did this happen to a friend of yours

I just give in to my warped mind at times and can't resist.

 

[Cholo]

Cholo, I can remember seeing a white Cadillac convertible with the top down parked under a mulberry tree. The carnage was impressive and I wish I had a picture of it to share. I think the owner was drunk and would have liked to see his reaction when he saw what had happened.

That reminded me of the scene in the show Ozark. To get even with the mobster's son, Ruth set it up so birds s*** all over Frank Jr's gorgeous '77 or so Trans Am and ruined the paint. I tried to look up a link to the scene but couldn't find it.

Great show!

 

[hittman]

Came home for lunch one bright summer day. Parked my truck right at the garage door in our walk out basement / garage. As I set at my workbench eating a sandwich I heard a heck or a racket. Looking out, I noticed my drivers window was down and a black bird flew in the cab of my 1500 HD Silverado.

Stupid bird tried EVERY window except the one he’d come through to get in the cab.
Wish I woulda had leather seats instead of cloth.

Same result as Cholo …..

 

[JPGLSG1234]

I just give in to my warped mind at times and can't resist.

Well I totally understand....

 

[Watertender]

My wife's family has about 3 million chickens. Imagine all the chicken crap there! They have miles of conveyor belts through the entire operation. I jokingly said to one of the family members who are directly involved with the operation... "food and water in, eggs and manure out, sort accordingly".

 

[Aqualung]

My in laws live in Maryland, surrounded by huge farm fields in all directions.

It was Christmas 2009 and my father in law was showing me his new 2009 Mustang convertable. He offers to take it for a quick ride, so I said, "OK".

We're driving down some country roads and off to the side, a huge flock of snow geese takes off...tens of thousands. They eclipsed the sun and started heading right over the road and over us.

"I hope none of them have to crap..." My father in law quipped.

"Actually, I don't think they can crap while they fly..."

No sooner had the words passed my lips when SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT! From bumper to bumper, right up over the hood, across the roof (thank goodness we kept it up) and down the trunk.

I had to pull over because we were laughing so hard.

When we got back to the house to wash the car, we got out and that poor, red mustang looked like someone hit it with a full-auto paintball gun shooting goose crap pellets...

To this day, we will see a flock of geese and he'll ask me "Hey, do geese crap while they fly?"

So , for anyone who wants to know...they can and will.

Aqualung

 

[Watertender]

Aqualung, We live on the migratory path of the Canada Goose and have some that have taken up year round residence. Think of a flying pack of dogs with nobody following with a pooperscooper. Those darn things crap as big as a good size dog and all they do is eat and dump. They ruin any lawn that they occupy because they crap so much.

 

[tbird1960]

Many years ago we had a fireplace in our first house. Big mistake. A bird got into the house thru the damper. While I was chasing him he would splat against the wall and leave a black spot. It was pretty easy to clean up on the walls that had wallpaper but the ones that were painted had to be painted over and that included almost every room in the house.
I went up on the roof with a flashlight and looked down at about a dozen birds. I decided to pour something in to run them off and got some Parsons sudsy amonia. Did not work I could not lean over the fireplace and breathe and don't know how the birds could stand it. wound yo covering the stack and let them starve. Only way I could get rid of them. I put a wire mesh on the stack so it would not happen again.

 

[ProfessorWes]

As one of the characters in Stephen King's "Christine" observed: "$**t wipes off."

I say that because . . . A few years ago on a car forum I used to frequent, a poster from Quebec lamented what happened to his brand-new Hyundai Santa Fe, when his son left a Snickers bar in the car and the windows cracked. A squirrel got into the vehicle, ate the candy bar and then started in on the rest of the interior. And some of the wiring.

IIRC the damage came in right around $10,000 CDN. Neither the dealership nor the insurance adjuster had ever seen anything like it.