Dad Jokes

[RoninPA]

As told to me by my daughter:

What do you call Stormtroopers playing Monopoly?..............Game of Clones

How much money does a skunk have?....................... One (S)cent

What did the cupcake say to the icing?........................ Without you I'm muffin (or Without you I see muffin)

Can we keep it going? Give us you best???? Dad jokes

 

[gramps]

I just bought a book: “ How to survive falling down a staircase——- A step by step guide!
gramps

 

[Wyandot Jim]

Why would a frog wait for the bus?
Because his car got toad.


Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?
They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.


Why did the man buy the discounted TV with a broken volume control?
He couldn't turn it down.

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?
There was too much talking behind his back.

That's all folks. I can't stand anymore

 

[ned]

Why did turtle cross the road….to get to the Shell station

There must be hundreds more out in the forum…. I had many more until I tried to remember them

 

[Bob Wright]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him!

Bob Wright

 

[Achigan]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him!

Bob Wright

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way!

 

[archie19]

why did the chicken cross the road?




to show the possum it could be done.

 

[Paul B]

Those are so bad I'm not even gonna to steal them :lol:
Paul B.

 

[RoninPA]

Oh come on Paul B, they're dad jokes, they're supposed to be bad, that's the fun of them.

Haul yours out and put'em here for all of us to groan along.

 

[arfmel]

What’s brown and sticky?



A stick

 

[gramps]

Thanks guys y’all put a smile on my face!
gramps

 

[toysoldier]

What was the cannibal's favorite religious order?






Caramelized nuns.

 

[Kevin]

What do you call a bear without teeth?

A gummy bear!

 

[nekvermont]

What's black and white and red all over?

A book.

 

[ned]

Ah heck, just to keep things moving

What is black and white,black and white, black and white?

A nun falling down the stairs

 

[Pyromike]

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."
"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"
"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites."
"How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints."
"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

 

[Crytot]

Back in the day of King Arthur he had one of his knights collect taxes for him.
The knight's name was Sir Charge

 

[RoninPA]

That's the spirit, keep'em coming, everyone needs to smile every now and agin.

 

[Pyromike]

The price of a slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00
The price of a slice of apple pie in the Bahamas is $2.50.

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean!

 

[ned]

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer…bartender says we don’t serve food here
A horse walks into same bar…bartender says ‘why the long face?’