The Missing Wife

[Taterman]

The Missing Wife

A man's wife had gone out shopping and hadn't returned by dinner time. Concerned, he contacted the local law enforcement to file a report.

Officer: Sir, do you know what time she left?
Man: Not really. I was fixing things around the house when she left.

Officer: Ok. Do you know where she was going?
Man: Unfortunately I don't. She just said shopping.

Officer: Do you know how tall she is?
Man: Between 5ft and 5ft 6in. I believe.

Officer: About how much does she weigh?
Man: Around 120 to 140?

Officer: Hair color?
Man: A brownish, reddish color.

Officer: Eyes?
Man: I never really paid attention. Sorry.

Officer: How about what she was wearing?
Man: A blue dress... or skirt. Maybe shorts?

Officer: What about her top?
Man: Honestly, I don't know.

Officer: Ok. What about what she was driving?
Man: Oh, she took my truck. It's a Dodge 1500, midnight blue flecked two tone with white racing lines. V8, twin pipes, leather seats, full size bed, chrome running boards, 6 speed manual transmission, 6 inch lift kit, KC fog lights, 17 inch Firestone grabbers, chromoly heavy duty rims, a small dent on the rear left quarter panel and a slight crack in the taillight......

The man slowly sputters to a stop and starts sobbing. The officer says in his most comforting voice, "Don't worry, sir. We''ll find your truck."

 

[GP100]

It's completely understandable for this man to be emotional at a time like this... I know I would be..

The truck is important..

 

[Fox Mike]

Poor guy! Now that touched my heart. :roll: :roll: :D

 

[HerrMesser]

Yep sounds like my wife.

 

[Merle1948]

Yep sounds like my wife.

so then, how long has she been gone? :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

 

[Ruger1441]

8) Reminds me of the old saying that men like women dressed in leather because it makes them smell like a new truck.

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

:D :D :D

 

[mohavesam]

Wife#1 called from an airport saying she had to spend another night past her 3-day planned business trip...
my only (dumb) response was akin to: "Oh, you're out of town?"...

She held onto that one for years.

 

[gunzo]

Another guy calls the cops & says he thinks his wife might be dead. The cops ask why he thinks she may be. He answers, I'm getting mixed messages, the sex is the same but the dirty dishes are piling up.

 

[Bear Paw Jack]

That is so BAD it's good. :D :D :D

 

[Colonialgirl]

Another guy calls the cops & says he thinks his wife might be dead. The cops ask why he thinks she may be. He answers, I'm getting mixed messages, the sex is the same but the dirty dishes are piling up.

I AInt atouching THAT one; but the first one is getting borrowed to be shared.

 

[redhawker]

First mistake is he let her drive the truck.

 

[Taterman]

I AInt atouching THAT one; but the first one is getting borrowed to be shared.

I just re-read it and realized it's actually realistic in my case. :? :?

 

[HerrMesser]

Another guy calls the cops & says he thinks his wife might be dead. The cops ask why he thinks she may be. He answers, I'm getting mixed messages, the sex is the same but the dirty dishes are piling up.

You mean you are still getting sex.

 

[wolfsong]

First mistake is he let her drive the truck.

Yep. Quoted for truth.

 

[Mobuck]

I seldom let Grouch Attack drive anything except the old 99 Jeep. Both her and the Jeep are fully insured so maybe I'll get lucky.
She wheeled in last night 3 hours past her expected arrival, puked on the dog on the way to the house, told me she had to work today, went straight to bed, and then asked me to fetch a "puke bucket" to her bedroom. I know where she said she was going yesterday after work but I'm not sure how that related to coming home barfing and I sure as heck wasn't getting close enough to smell her breath.

 

[Taterman]

I seldom let Grouch Attack drive anything except the old 99 Jeep. Both her and the Jeep are fully insured so maybe I'll get lucky.
She wheeled in last night 3 hours past her expected arrival, puked on the dog on the way to the house, told me she had to work today, went straight to bed, and then asked me to fetch a "puke bucket" to her bedroom. I know where she said she was going yesterday after work but I'm not sure how that related to coming home barfing and I sure as heck wasn't getting close enough to smell her breath.

 

[exavid]

I'm just grateful my wife didn't want to ride my motorcycles. I did let her fly my airplanes but the bike? Actually she was pretty good with the Super Cub and had her float rating before we got married, but my bike? She is welcome on the pillion but that's it.