The hearse driver......Old joke from the 'Fifties.......

[Bob Wright]

This story was circulated back curing the 'Fifties, with racial overtones at the time.

A funeral home in Memphis was to provide services for a planter who had died around Vicksburg,Mississippi. A hearse was sent for the remains (nice talk meaning the body) with a driver and one assistant to help drive. They drive down and get the body into the hearse, and drive back the same day. Now understand this was prior to the Interstate System, and I-55 which makes the trip so easy now. Then it was old US Hwy. 61 or US 51.

On the return trip, the assistant has gone sound to sleep, and its getting dark now. Soon, the driver stops to get a cup of coffee. In the little hotel restaurant, he sees a soldier just back from Korea. The soldier asks if the man is headed to Memphis, which he was, and if so, could he get a ride.

The hearse drive tells him he is driving a hearse with a body in back, and he would have to ride in back with then corpse. No problem, as he's just back from Korea and has seen plenty of bodies. So he gets into the hearse and off they go.

Well, the drive soon gets tired and wakes the assistant, who takes over driving while the driver gets him a nap. He fails to mention the soldier in back.

After they get back out on the highway and driven a good ways, the solder wakes up, taps on the partition glass in the hearse, and asks, "Say buddy, is it okay if I smoke back here?"

That hearse plowed fifty yards into a cotton field.


Bob Wright

 

[Gator89]

To paraphrase Archie Moore, that would make you slop your dripper!

 

[sncup]

A story told in church from the pulpit a few years ago by the new pastor. He used the names of the folks and according to him this actually happened.

Some time after her husband passed away a widow wanted to come back to church. Being wealthy they arranged for a driver to pick her up and drive her home. After church as they were driving away the widow reached up from the back seat and touched the shoulder of the driver to ask a question. The driver panicked and drove off the road. After he stopped, he apologized for his reaction, “ I’ve been driving a hearse for years and never has anyone behind me touched me!”

 

[gramps]

Good one Bob!
gramps

 

[Pat-inCO]

 

[GypsmJim]

My grandpa ran the baggage dept. in a NYC RR terminal during WWII. They transferred caskets of soldiers on a daily basis. One day as they picked one up it was light so they opened it to find it empty. They decided to pull a joke on one of the other workers. A guy got it the casket and they closed the lid. When the other worker came back from lunch they told him to go over and push the casket a little bit to get it out of the way. When he did the guy inside started pounding and hollering, causing the unsuspecting worker to run out the door and go home.

Grandpa swore that the next day when the guy came back to work his hair had gone completely white. When we said that was impossible, Grandpa swore it was true because he saw it with his own eyes.

 

[Rook]

To paraphrase Archie Moore, that would make you slop your dripper!

I remember Archie Campbell doing those skits on Hee Haw. I believe Archie Moore was a professional boxer.