Science jokes

[Rick Courtright]

Hi,

A British based forum I visit has a thread going on "science jokes." Some are pretty good, some real groaners, and many depend on word play. I guess that genre is universal: this one comes from a member who's actually a Texan:

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN!

I was surprised to get it straight away before he had to 'splain it... still working on some of the others, though! If anybody's got some good'uns, I'll be happy to send 'em back across the pond!

Rick C

 

[SATCOM]

:mrgreen:

SATCOM

 

[Pierow]

Just gonna say what I just came up with is at least as good as the Batman theme song above, which is a groaner:

A rotund oxygen atom is walking down the street and accidentally bumps into a couple of hydrogen atoms. As oxygen was apologizing the hydrogen atoms jumped on him and said, "Hey buddy, we look like Mickey Mouse to you!" Oxygen then caught a reflection of himself in the corner window and said, "Well, as a matter of fact yes."

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Be sure to tip your waitresses

 

[Rick Courtright]

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Be sure to tip your waitresses

Hi,

True, cuz if you stay here, something like this might pop up:

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decided to play hide and seek. Einstein was "it". Pascal ran off and hid but Newton drew a one meter square box on the floor and stood in it as Einstein counted to 100. When Einstein opened his eyes, he said "I have found Newton", to which Newton replied, "No, you have found Pascal".

Rick C

 

[Kevin]

I'm glad someone gets it......

 

[Rick Courtright]

I'm glad someone gets it......

Hi,

Which one, Kevin? Pierow gave a hint on the first one. Second may take some 'splainin' in a while...

Rick C

 

[Bob Wright]

Well, sorry to be dense, but I don't get either one.

Bob Wright

 

[Rick Courtright]

Well, sorry to be dense, but I don't get either one.

Hi,

Ok, Bob, here's the first one:

Let's take Pierow's hint and sing the Batman theme song to ourselves. "Na na, na na, na na, na na..., Batman!" Now we look on the periodic table where we find "Na", and it stands for, drum roll please, "sodium!"

Told ya some of 'em were groaners... We'll wait to see if anybody wants to take a stab at the second one for another day or so...

Rick C

 

[Kevin]

Oh. Groan. I'm with Bob. Ok. Actually sodium spoken over and over does sort of sound like the batman theme song.

But the other? What the H E double L?

 

[Jimbo357mag]

From the net.

Two scientists walk into a bar. "I'll have an H2O," says the first. "I'll have an H2O too," says the second man and dies.

 

[wolfsong]

From the net.

Two scientists walk into a bar. "I'll have an H2O," says the first. "I'll have an H2O too," says the second man and dies.

Like this thread, I hope! :wink: :wink:

 

[Selena]

Oh. Groan. I'm with Bob. Ok. Actually sodium spoken over and over does sort of sound like the batman theme song.

But the other? What the H E double L?

The water molecule representation looks a bit like Micky Mouse.

 

[sfhogman]

Cop asks Heisenberg, "do you know how fast you were going?" and he replies, "no, but I know where I am..."...

Ow.
Jeff

 

[Selena]

Cop asks Heisenberg, "do you know how fast you were going?" and he replies, "no, but I know where I am..."...

Ow.
Jeff

Now that was cute!

I'm scared to death someone is going to do a Dirac outhouse joke.

 

[Rick Courtright]

Hi,

Ok, if chemistry and physics prove a little deep, there's always high school math! For example, one of the "classics":

There was an Indian Chief who had three squaws. He kept them in three teepees, and when he would come home late from hunting, he wouldn't know which teepee contained which squaw, being dark and all. So he went hunting one day, and killed a hippopotamus, a bear, and a buffalo. He put the hide from each animal into a different teepee, so that when he came home late, he could feel inside the teepee and know which squaw was there.

Well after about a year, all three squaws had children. The squaw on the bear had a baby boy, the squaw on the buffalo hide had a baby girl. But the squaw on the hippopotamus had a girl and a boy. So what is the moral of the story?

Rick C

 

[427mach1]

Well, sorry to be dense, but I don't get either one.

We'll wait to see if anybody wants to take a stab at the second one for another day or so...

Rick C

Funny! I got it.... A Pascal is a unit of pressure equal to one Newton per square meter....

 

[Rick Courtright]

Funny! I got it.... A Pascal is a unit of pressure equal to one Newton per square meter....

Hi,

Thank you! I was getting worried...

Rick C

 

[Bull Barrel]

What did the Mother molecule say to her son in the morning?

Up and atom....

 

[Pierow]

Why are red photons braver than blue photons? Whenever they encounter a little atmosphere blue photons always scatter.

Groaner #2

 

[mykeal]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand digital data and those who don't.

 

[Bob Wright]

This is the first time I ever knew Batman had a theme song! Where have you heard it? The only theme song I remember was on the Tom Mix program.

Bob Wright

 

[Selena]

This is the first time I ever knew Batman had a theme song! Where have you heard it? The only theme song I remember was on the Tom Mix program.

Bob Wright

Tom Mix? Did he do a cooking show?

 

[SamV]

From my son this morning.
What did King Midas say after touching his daughter and turning her into gold?

Au

 

[Bob Wright]

Tom Mix? Did he do a cooking show?

Tom Mix was to do a program sponsored by Ralston-Purina, but was killed before it came to fruition. But the program, on radio, went on, with Curley Bradley playing the part of Tom Mix.

The show started out with Bradley singing the Ralston-Purina song to the tune of "When the Bloom is on the Sage".

The song went, in part:

Take a tip from Tom
Go and tell your Mom
Shredded Ralston can't be beat.

Curley Bradley appeared in person in a red and white checkered shirt. Both Superman and Captain Midnight were carried here, but I don't remember Batman.

Bob Wright

 

[noquarter]

Why do computer scientists confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT31 = DEC25.

 

[noquarter]

Hi,

Ok, if chemistry and physics prove a little deep, there's always high school math! For example, one of the "classics":

There was an Indian Chief who had three squaws. He kept them in three teepees, and when he would come home late from hunting, he wouldn't know which teepee contained which squaw, being dark and all. So he went hunting one day, and killed a hippopotamus, a bear, and a buffalo. He put the hide from each animal into a different teepee, so that when he came home late, he could feel inside the teepee and know which squaw was there.

Well after about a year, all three squaws had children. The squaw on the bear had a baby boy, the squaw on the buffalo hide had a baby girl. But the squaw on the hippopotamus had a girl and a boy. So what is the moral of the story?

Rick C

The squaw of the hippopotamus = the sum of the squaws of the other 2 hides.

 

[Elfego El Gato]

Speaking of high school math, 'splain this!...

Three men went to a motel. The motel manager said a room cost $30, so each man put up $10 and went to their room. A little while later the manager realized the room was only $25, so he sent the bellhop back to the three guys' room with $5. On the way to the room the bellhop couldn't figure out how to split the $5 between the 3 men, so he gave each one of them $1 and he kept the other $2.

This meant that the 3 men paid $9 each for the room for a total of $27. Add the $2 that the bellhop kept = $29.

Where did the other dollar go?

 

[Selena]

From my son this morning.
What did King Midas say after touching his daughter and turning her into gold?

Au

I love Au of course.

 

[Rick Courtright]

This meant that the 3 men paid $9 each for the room for a total of $27. Add the $2 that the bellhop kept = $29.

Hi,

There's no extra dollar cuz they didn't pay $9 each for the room! The men paid $30 in total out front, then $25 went to the innkeeper for the room, $2 went to the bellhop, and they got $3 in "change." Adds up to the original $30. I think that's how it was 'splained... it's been a long time!

Rick C

 

[K1500]

They each paid $9. $9*3=$27. The innkeeper has $25 and the bell hop has the other $2. The 'trick' is you said $27+2 does not equal $30. In fact, $27-2 = 25, which is what the innkeeper has.