Safe at Last!

[blume357]

I did not want to hijack Pat inCo's post on home security and so I'm posting this revelation here:

Got tired of paying ADT's pretty much 'protection fee' and came up with a better plan:

I took down my Rebel flag
(which you can't buy on EBAY anymore)

and peeled the NRA sticker off my rear car window.
 
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the Neighborhood Watch.
 
Then I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.
 
Next I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flagpole.
 
Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
 
I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT was charging me.
 
Plus, I bought a burka to wear when I shop or travel. 

Now everyone moves out of the way and security isn't even allowed to pat me down.
 
If they point out that I'm a man wearing a burka, I just say, "I'm feeling like a woman today".
 
Hot Damn... Safe at last!

 

[Jimbo357mag]

That is great Bloom but from here on out you won't be able to board a plane and every package delivered to your door will already have been opened. :mrgreen:

 

[Colonialgirl]

Don't forget to cover all your face EXCEPT your eyes while wearing that burka !!

 

[gramps]

:shock: :roll: :lol: stolen!!!
gramps

 

[Tallbald]

Don't forget to cover all your face EXCEPT your eyes while wearing that burka !!

Blume do you have really hairy eyebrows though that could give you away as a fella? There goes the ruse!
Don

 

[Mobuck]

At first it seems funny but later the acrid smell of defeat begins to assault my nostrils as I realize just how true it is.

 

[Mega Twin]

Good one!