Lexophilia for today

m657

Buckeye
Joined
Dec 1, 2007
Messages
1,419
City & State/Province
sunny Orygun territory
Warning: some of these are as bad as I've seen. Some are worse. Your choice.


LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?



Why, a lexophile of course!



• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.



• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!



• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.



• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.



• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.



• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.



• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.



• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.



• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.



• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.



• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.



• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.



• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.



• When chemists die, they barium.



• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.



• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.



• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.



• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.



• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?



• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



• Broken pencils are pointless.



• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.



• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.



• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.



• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.



• Velcro - what a rip off!
 
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