Funny story from my Army days............

[Bob Wright]

I sure hope this doesn't offend anyone. It is a true story.

When the 5th Infantry Division was deactivated, we became the 10th Regimental Combat Team (RCT) and shortly after moved from Ft. Ord down to Camp Roberts. Camp Roberts had been closed except for National Guard training in the summer. Local ranchers had been allowed to graze their herds on the unused property, keeping grass and weeds short.

There was a young soldier in our outfit who was a young black man from Detroit. He had never been outside of the city in his life, strictly an urban youth. He was on guard duty one night, at a remote building. It was dark as pitch except for the lone light bulb that was over the entrance to the building. His walk caused him to enter into the darkness just beyond the light's glow.

On one of his rounds, he heard a rustle of movement but tried to ignore it. He told me later how scared he was. As he made a second round he heard again the movement, followed by a "BAAAAAAA!" It was one of the rancher's sheep.

He said later, "Wright, I was a white boy for about five minutes!"


Bob Wright

 

[ronto]

Why was he so scared? It sure wasn't a VC infiltrator with a satchel charge.

 

[pete44ru]

.

Fear of the unknown, Ron...… :roll:

.

 

[ronto]

.

Fear of the unknown, Ron...… :roll:

.

A drunk GI trying to sneak back to the post? :lol:

 

[Bob Wright]

Why was he so scared? It sure wasn't a VC infiltrator with a satchel charge.

This was long before the VC had been invented.

Why was he scared? He was simply scared of being alone in the dark. As I said, he had never been outside of Detroit city limits. May never have even walked on green grass.

And Camp Roberts was unoccupied for many years at the time. Bobcat and cougars were seen several times around the barracks. And a few rattlesnakes and those giant black spiders that inhabit that part of California were present.

It was just a young kid scared of things that go "bump in the night."


Bob Wright

 

[bogus bill]

Having done 35 years as a night watchman and about 32 of them on graveyard at Lockheed I had countless funny incidents prowling around in the dark. Once on a holiday weekend there was no one in the huge plant but me and a fire captain. I seen him in a poorly lit hanger checking fire extinguishers, walked up from behind, poked him in the ribs and said, how ya doing Wagner? The funny part was I had seen him sense something, stop, kind of shake his head like, naw, and move on and then I poked him. He threw a clipboard about twenty feet in the air and slobbered.
Another time on another week end I had done my rounds, and set down in the comfortable test pilots lounge for a few minuets. It was about 04:00, I got busted. I heard the door open, a pilot walked in past me looking for the light switch. As soon as he turned on the switch I yelled out BOO! Once he got his breath he started to get mad and said I almost gave him a heart attack! I didn't say anything, just walked out laughing.
Once I got a call on a week end morning from a woman employee who had come in for some overtime. She said there was a strange acting man in the women's bathroom. I went in and one of the dirtyest humans I ever seen was in there incoherent. He couldn't, or wouldn't talk but tried to take a swing at me. He was out of his mind. I ended up having to ride in the ambulance with him to the hospital. On checking him out I found that he had been fired about a month prior. Somehow he got in the plant and I figure he had been hiding in high up areas up in attics over offices etc. kind of like the hunchback of Noter Dame. I suspect he had been living out of the trash bins. A few weeks later I seen a police composite drawing of him in the newspaper. They were looking for him as a suspect in a number of rapes. I told them who they were looking for.
In 1964 I did a short stint as a guard for Universal movie studios. One night another guard was checking out that haunted house movie set for the Munsters, or Adams family?? Anyway someone was hiding in there and cold cocked him.
Another night I was working with my partner and he was checking out a building in Burbank that our credit union was in.
He seen a door ajar with a light on. He later told me he just thought a employee probably left the door unlocked and the light on. He reached in to turn the light off and a intruder hit his arm with a iron bar. He thought he got a shock off the light switch and stuck his head in and got brained! The burglar (s)?? had come down through a roof hatch.
Some years later I ran into a brother of his that told me he still wasn't right after the incident.
It never bothered me to work in the dark.

 

[caryc]

Good one Bob.

 

[Fox Mike]

I can appreciate that story. Many years ago, while on guard duty on a NIKE Hercules site, I nearly shot a BIG black dog that looked like someone trying to dig under the perimeter fence. Suffice to say things heard and seen at night can be deceiving.

 

[Colonialgirl]

Funniest story about Army life for me was when a doofuss E-8 got transferred and his ER got noted "Works good UNDER proper supervision" and THAT was being generous and kind to him.
Well may the time I spent about 10 minutes on the telephone NOT refusing to do what the BDE Signal officer wanted me to do; Just telling him that He SHOULDN'T be calling me and telling me to do it. He was NOT in my chain of command. I was the ranking E-4 in the commo shop and slept in a room in the back of the Quonset hut, plus it was Saturday afternoon.
Note: When the Btry Commo officer pulled up about 5 minutes later I told him about the call and we did transport a battery to a remoted radio that needed it; He had a jeep and I had the batteries on a trailer with two 5KW generators right outside the shop.

 

[Pal Val]

When I came back home, I joined the PR National Guard to do my reserve duty. I took over a POL platoon. We ran the "gas station" at the training area on weekends. One Saturday, a staff car showed up a couple of hours after we had closed the station. It was the general's aide, a captain, looking to refuel it. When I went over, the E-4 on guard duty there had told him the pump was shut off and padlocked. The captain told us he was going to shoot off the padlock with his .45. That's when I told him - "Sir, go ahead and do it, but count to 10 before you shoot." He asked me why, and I told him the E-4 and I needed the ten seconds to run behind a wall before the 10,000 gallons of gasoline in the tank exploded under his feet. The captain holstered the pistol and drove away.

Shows that you don't need to be too bright to make it to captain.

 

[Tensaw]

Here is one from my old Coast Guard days. A guy was on guard duty which required him to check in at various stations around the base including the boat house. One night he notices that the 40 footer in the boat house was listing. He reports it to the OOD. "Sir, the 40 footer is listing." It was a busy night with a couple of active search and rescue cases. The OOD responds, "Yea ok I am busy now." Well this exchange went on for about 3 times after the guy made each of his rounds. On his last round the guy tells the OOD. "Sir, if you run like hell you'll get to see the 40 footer go under."

 

[toysoldier]

Folks who never get out of the big cities back east simply have no idea what's in the rest of the country. Two examples from the medical field:

A Missouri surgeon I worked with finished med school in the 50's, and got a residency in Philadelphia. At a party for the new residents, the dean's wife found out that he was from Missouri, and started asking him about Indians and cactus.

A doctor finished his residency back east in Emergency Medicine, and landed a job in a small, semi-rural hospital in the Midwest. One afternoon, an old farmer came in, badly cut up. The doc went to work, patching leaks and pumping in fluids, until the old man revived enough to answer questions.
"How'd you get so cut up?" asked the doc.
"Brush hog" he answered.
The doc went pale, dropped the hemostat he was holding, and started shaking. With great effort, he squeaked out "These brush hogs, are there a lot of them running around these parts?"

 

[caryc]

Folks who never get out of the big cities back east simply have no idea what's in the rest of the country. Two examples from the medical field:

A Missouri surgeon I worked with finished med school in the 50's, and got a residency in Philadelphia. At a party for the new residents, the dean's wife found out that he was from Missouri, and started asking him about Indians and cactus.

A doctor finished his residency back east in Emergency Medicine, and landed a job in a small, semi-rural hospital in the Midwest. One afternoon, an old farmer came in, badly cut up. The doc went to work, patching leaks and pumping in fluids, until the old man revived enough to answer questions.
"How'd you get so cut up?" asked the doc.
"Brush hog" he answered.
The doc went pale, dropped the hemostat he was holding, and started shaking. With great effort, he squeaked out "These brush hogs, are there a lot of them running around these parts?"

Not to worry too much. They're usually tethered to someone's tractor.

 

[Rick Courtright]

Hi,

Not military, but a story of the dark from my trap and skeet club days. And nights:

We had a young black kid I'll call Arthur working for us. 16 or 17 years old, good looking, smart, very personable and self confident, played in the high school band and so on. Great kid. As long as it was light. We had a couple of storage buildings where someone had to go each day at closing time, which was after dark the weekdays we were open, to store some supplies and make sure everything was secured for the night. It was a simple task: unlock the door, reach inside to the left to hit the light switch, put away what needed to be, check two more doors and lock the first door back up.

One night the boss' wife walked into the clubhouse laughing so hard she could barely stand. I asked what was going on, and she told me, "Go out there and show Arthur where the light switch is!"

I went out to the building Arthur was supposed to check. The door was half open, and Arthur was looking inside. I could hear his trembling voice saying "Ah know dey ain't no ghosts in here. Ah know..." For once in my life I didn't succumb to temptation and say "Boo!" or something similar, which is probably good, because I'm pretty sure his parents would never understand why I sent a white boy home to them that night!

Rick C

 

[Colonialgirl]

Strange tale from youth:

Thanks to my Dad being in the Navy, I spent my sixth grade year in (French) Morocco; We did take a trip during his leave and visit (Spanish) Morocco, Volubilus (an Ancient Roman City), Tangiers and finally by ferry boat Gibraltar. Should I mention Rabat and Casablanca?
Well, after that assignment, My Dad left the Navy after 20 years of service and we moved to Bartlesville, OK where I started the 7th grade, When they learned i had been to "AFRICA" they immediately wanted to know if I had seen any Lions, Tigers, Leopard and other such animals. NOPE; Sorry, ALL I saw was Camels, Donkeys and people urinating in the corners of walls.

 

[RoninPA]

While stationed at Kincheloe AFB (just south of Sault Ste. Marie, MI (in the UP)), had a friend who was a medic. They had to take turns with weekend duty. When he an a few friends had the duty they normally stored a case of beer in one of the cold lockers (horizontal - if you know what I mean) in the morgue of the hospital . Well, FNG (new 1 stripe black kid) was on with them for the first time and they told him about the beer and told him to go get one if he wanted (about 11pm one Saturday night). FNG didn't notice one of the crew was missing. FNG went to the morgue, went to the designated locker and opened it jussst enough to reach in (morgue area was dimly lighted), "missing" crew member was on the slab and reached out with a beer and said, "here you go". Well, my buddy said, yes, he did go, and very fast. They didn't see him for at least 8 hours. And of course, they gave it to him unmercifully when he showed back up. He did say that that person WOULD NOT go into the morgue area (day or night) after that unless every single light was turned on.