Behavioral problems in children..............

[Pat-inCO]

Many, many years ago I went out with a gal that had a teenager that had
decided her mother could not use physical discipline, in any way. She
made the mistake of saying that when I was present. The next time I was
over at their house I brought along a copy of the Colorado Peace Officers
Handbook (all laws enforceable by LE, in CO).

I showed the daughter EXACTLY what the law was, and told her that, if
the daughter talked back to her mother when I was there, and the mother
allowed it, I would show her what the law allowed. Funniest thing, no more
problems. :roll: (daughter was fifteen)

 

[Selena]

Selena, your dad and mine must have come from the same school of child behavior modification.

Amazing how well diabolical punishment works. But I suppose if you did that today you'd be arrested for violating child labor laws.

And it would be considered abuse as well..

Therein lies the rub, While the punishment detail was... what it was. whether or not it is abuse depends not on statute but the opinion of a bureaucrat in the county seat and that opinion changes with what they had for lunch or how their homelife was at the moment. You override that opinion with the opinion of a judge after cost of lawyer's fees and court costs. After which you are on the "radar."

 

[#1rugerman]

Took my wife to the beach a month ago, place we stay has a breakfast buffet, I went down at 6am got my food and sat down, only a older couple and a young mom with her young daughter. Mom had her phone in hand staring like a zombie at it, daughter was running around screaming and hollering. Mom says honey come eat your breakfast, doesn’t look up from her phone, kid must be deaf, keeps up the running & hollering. Ate my breakfast and got the hell out. Now if something had happened to her daughter (fell, ran into a table corner, etc) you know that she would be the first one to sue the hotel because her little angel got hurt. When my kids were that age they sat and ate their food , no running around, etc. because they knew that I would take them straight home and make their day miserable if they acted up.

 

[ChiefMuzz]

Sorry ChiefMuzz, I have to disagree with you on this one..

The best Child Psychology you can buy.. And it always worked.. All you needed to do, was "adapt it to that ass"..

Maybe if it was applied today, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in with what I call, "The Milk bottle Generation." You can thank the liberals like "Dr. Spock" who thought it was evil to spank a child.. It ruined a whole generation. And is continuing to do so..

Explanation on my "Milk Bottle Generation" comment..

I respectfully disagree. Knowing your story from your incredible posts here Mike, I know you don't have children. It makes it hard to have a valid opinion so far removed from the situation.

 

[ChiefMuzz]

As a parent of young children I can tell you what worked 20-30 years
ago, or more, simply doesn't work today.

How long have you been a democrat?

To say that each child will respond more in line with the desired end result,
is hard to argue with. To make a blanket statement that because something
was used twenty or thirty years ago, will not work, strongly implies a solid
lack of understanding, at least when it come to discipline.

{war-story}
Grand-son of a lady I dated has . . . never . . . been spanked. His mother
takes the time to work with the child, explain what is expected and why.
He then gets a "time out" where he gets to sit still, not hum or sing, not
play with any toys and can not lay down. For him, it works. That is the
best behaved kid I know of. He is the exception. {/war-story}

Most kids respond to the proper application of force to the seat of education.
In fact, very few do not. - - That dos NOT mean beat the child, but does
say appropriate levels of "incentive" can-be/are very effective.

If you have one that "forgets" the lesson, then punishment, in the form of
time occupying tasks can be, and very often are more effective than force
to the seat of education.

Amazing how you have to be a parent in more than name.

If you're unable to discuss something without first trying to insult, you're simply over your head.

 

[SR1911SHOOTER]

Local sanitorium is advertising on TV that they now have workers who can help correct behavioral problems in children.

My Mama had that ability over eighty years ago! (I was the last of five children. She had plenty of practice. And apparently I was the most trying of that practice!)

Years ago my mother took us to church in Washington, D.C. where President Truman attended, a Baptist church. (I was very young then.) As we entered, an usher suggested my mother send me to "children's church" should I misbehave in church. It was the very first time I ever heard of "children's church" and felt pretty insulted.

My mother glared at him and said, "My son knows how to behave in church." And I did, for I knew the consequences of not doing so!





Bob Wright

Bob,
Kids today are too Myspace literate. They know to get in touch with CPS when they want to lie about
being molested or spanked. And they know how to get teachers in trouble for "Sexual Offenses" when they
don't like the teachers. Does anybody really believe that this many teachers as we see in the news are
really molesting kids in school?
Blackie

 

[GP100]

I respectfully disagree. Knowing your story from your incredible posts here Mike, I know you don't have children. It makes it hard to have a valid opinion so far removed from the situation.

Hi Chief,

I agree that I don't have kids.. And in some ways you are correct in my situation.. However Sir, I know many very fine individuals from the 40's 50's and 60's that were spanked as kids and turned out to be very fine people later in life.. They learned respect, and many other things in life due to actual discipline as kids.. I'm not talking about abuse here.. I'm just talking about a good old fashioned spanking.. I do believe in the "Spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy.. Because I see it every day.. Kids are out of control because of it.. Children don't always respond to "time out".. Now, some do.. It depends on the child..

Being on a board like this, with older people than me, has given me a unique insight into things I didn't learn as a younger man.. And has helped to educate me in some ways.. For example, listening to the people here talk about how they themselves were disciplined as kids and the spankings that many got as kids through the different posts I've read throughout my time here. Tells me, that kids turned out better years ago.. More productive adults with value systems that many younger people don't have today.. I guess I'm trying to say, that they got their butts warmed as kids, and didn't turn out to be Ax murders..

Granted, there is a difference between abuse and discipline.. But a good butt warming would do much nowadays to curtail much of the problems we have in society.. Now I grant you, I'm not religious in any way Sir.. However, even a man such as myself, must have no choice but to admit that the Bible has some good lessons in it that if followed, makes for a better society.. "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is one of those lessons in my opinion..

Children behaved better in school etc; Mostly because they knew if they didn't, Mr. Principle or Mrs. Teacher would take them to task for it.. Today, the schools are war zones.. Many a child got corporal punishment in school. And got a better education because of it.. So, I'm not so sure that today's way of doing things, is really working out so well when I look out my window..

That said, I respect your opinion Sir.. And in some ways, your right.. And, after thinking about it, I probably shouldn't even post in this topic since I have no experience in this area.. However, seeing the people here on this board. And the older people I've dealt with in my life and career, has taught me several life lessons.. One of those lessons is, the older generation knew what they were doing.. And if some of the people on this board are any indication, then they did it well.. Why change what works?

Have a good day Chief.

 

[opos]

I'm 80. I won't rehash all the details of how our farm family dealt with discipline problems but it was much different than a time out or locking down a cell phone for a week..no, I don't want to hit a kid but I'd love to flatten some of the make believe parents...I'm an old fuddy duddy and I'm sick to death of the parents that want to be the child's "bestie" friend....A parent should have the task (and joy) of raising a well behaved child with values....not a spoiled brat that they have to turn over to the teachers or someone else to gain control. We have a family that includes grown kids...grown grandkids...and now great grandkids...Recently we had a family reunion party with a lunch for 20 in a public restaurant...the 2 little ones were "my fear" but they were as polite and had fun without being a pain in the butt for everyone around...Their Mom is a Nurse and sees kids that have been raised with no control and no discipline and the result...a bunch of children that have to live on drugs (prescription) for every tiny problem they incur...a pill for this a pill for that..a counselor for this and one for that.."group" therapy for this and that...but never a swift swat on the butt for acting up.

If the parents of the spoiled, un controlled child could only realize what they are leaving for the next generation...the inability to fit in any where and the lack of any moral or social skills...everything done on a cell phone or by texting...a world of "social" media....and a lack of anything moral or in many cases just plain acceptable. No wonder many of them have nothing to do but "protest" and be home with Mommy and Daddy where they are safe.

When we are in a place where kids are seriously (not just fussing) misbehaving we get up and leave our meal where it is and refuse to pay as we leave unless we were through eating. I'm not spending my hard earned (words the new ones don't understand) to be the victim of some brat with no control by it's parents (no we can't say he or she...got to be "it"). If we get banned from the restaurant..so be it...the old saying "no shoes, no shirt, no service" can be modified to say "no peace and quiet, no manners, no payment for the meal"...they can collect it from the brat's parents.

 

[rodfarva]

As an MD, I would argue that stimulants based off amphetamines such as Adderall, Ritalin, or any other meth/amphetamine based derivative is never the answer...

 

[Selena]

As an MD, I would argue that stimulants based off amphetamines such as Adderall, Ritalin, or any other meth/amphetamine based derivative is never the answer...

Don't get me started on the teachers that push Ritalin like the guy in hood pushes heroin or crack. While I won't say there are not children that do benefit the stuff is not a "cure all" for behavior problems. My younger child is hyperactive even by my standards but if you give him a chance to burn off that energy he is able to sit still for reasonable periods of time. His teacher... I feel a rant coming on so I won't describe her... Feels that the proper "punishment" for his hyperactivity is a "time out" during recess. Since he isn't "responding" she has labeled him as having ADHD.