Haz-mat?

Joined
May 23, 2009
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2,523
City & State/Province
N/E TN
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

ELEMENT: WOMAN
SYMBOL: WO2
DISCOVERER: ADAM

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118lb, but know to vary from 100 to 550lb.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface usually covered with powder or painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes for no reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied gently to selected points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and most precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water.
6. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one.
 
Good thing I have a Hazardous Materials Endorsement on my drivers license. Means I'm qualified to handle it. Even have an ATF license. Federal Government gives me permission to dispose of the bad stuff legally.
 
For my personal safety, I will keep data sheet away from the element. I have reason to suspect that the data sheet could precipitate unintended spontaneous reactions with the element.
 

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