Gentlemen beware.

[Fox Mike]

A butt whippin' for a butt blow.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/florida-woman-dawn-meikle-attacks-husband-for-farting-in-bed-police-say_567990d4e4b0b958f6582c2a?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

 

[skeeter]

Maybe someone needs to invent a muffler with a charcoal filter to save marriages. Lord knows my wife has put up with a lot. She probably has hearing loss.

 

[427mach1]

Someone showed up on Shark Tank looking for money to market charcoal filtered underwear for just such an occasion.

 

[Pat-inCO]

Anyone say "tip of the iceberg"? :roll:

 

[exavid]

Some years ago a friend of mine was telling me about a joke he pulled on his wife. Seems when they were in bed one night he let a real stinker under the covers. Immediately after he told his wife, "I think I'll spit straight up and see where it comes down", and began to hack up a wad. His wife thinking he was really going to do it ducked under the covers and ran smack into his previously laid miasma. He never told me what she said about that. But then he wasn't a man for colorful speech.

 

[eveled]

I was on a cruise with my wife. I in my tux her in a gown running late for the formal dinner. When on the elevator I let one rip, and it was really nasty. The doors open, and there are about 6 couples waiting to get on. I looked at my wife and said "I can't believe you did that on an elevator" as I was walking by the couples.

Another time I walked into the kitchen she was cutting up chicken, and it smelled vile, I mean really rancid. She asked "do you think this chicken smells funny"? I was gagging and told her to throw it away I wasn't going to eat it.

About a half hour later she is doing laundry, I walk in the laundry room and get hit with the same exact odor. This time I realize it is her flatulence that is the source. Honey did you pass gass while you were cutting up that chicken earlier?

We threw away 2 lbs of perfectly good chicken, because my wife's stomach was upset.

 

[DA_TriggR4Ruger]

Some years ago a friend of mine was telling me about a joke he pulled on his wife. Seems when they were in bed one night he let a real stinker under the covers. Immediately after he told his wife, "I think I'll spit straight up and see where it comes down", and began to hack up a wad. His wife thinking he was really going to do it ducked under the covers and ran smack into his previously laid miasma. He never told me what she said about that. But then he wasn't a man for colorful speech.

I'm laughing so hard right now it hurts.

 

[wwb]

Some suggestions on how to deal with the problem:

http://www.bugmartini.com/comic/a-bed-of-noses/

 

[nvbirdman]

I had just started taking some medication which caused the "silent stinkies". They were really bad. I went to a big gun show that weekend that was very crowded and I would suddenly decide it was time to look at a different table.

 

[noahmercy]

At least these were mostly inadvertent. Back when I first got my driver license, my two buddies and I would go to the mall. On the way, we would stop at the convenience store and each get a couple pickled eggs and pickled sausages and a root beer. We would inhale those and then head on to the mall. Once there, we would walk briskly until the carbonation and fiendish foodage worked their magic, and then we would head to the back of a store, spread out, and work our way to the front. The goal was to clear out an establishment with our noxious emissions. We managed on a couple occasions, and once even made an individual vomit in the elevator.

Good times...good times...

 

[Sin6Sec63451022]

Ain't nothin' funnier'n a fart!

 

[Colonialgirl]

I use to work at place where one guy cut such stinkers that NOT ONLY the people would leave the vicinity but also ALL the stray cats in the building.
He said he pulled the "Gonna Spit straight up" trick on his wife ONCE and had to sleep on the couch for a week.
Then there was the "Christmas Song" by Larry the Cable Guy that included the Verse " I cut a fart in Walmart on Aisle TWO !"