D.U.I.

FastEd

Hunter
Joined
Jun 13, 2008
Messages
2,244
City & State/Province
RIVERSIDE, OH, Home of the Air Force Museum
One night a police officer was staking out his favorite bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar, got in their cars and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.”
 
Let me see. Hmmm. What are his pupils like? Wide open or constricted? Time for a trip to the ER for a blood draw to confirm no other substances present. Detain for as long as possible before cutting him loose. :) Hopefully the cop had him on camera. If so a little time in front of the judge. Maybe charge with obstructing an ongoing investigation? :)
gramps
 
Yep, gramps , that's what I thought too I'd bust his butt for everything I could .
I know this was just a joke, but I've worked WAY too many Drunk driving crashes[ their not accidents if your drunk!] Both as a L.E.O. and Firefighter/ E.M.T. to have much sympathy for anyone that drinks and drives.
Lou
 
cruzerlou said:
Yep, gramps , that's what I thought too I'd bust his butt for everything I could .

Wow this is America last I checked. Zero alcohol he is free as a bird.
What possibly could he be arrested for or detained? Find Something? How Nice!

This is exactly why some dislike leo's They call that Fishing. ps
 
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powder smoke said:
cruzerlou said:
Yep, gramps , that's what I thought too I'd bust his butt for everything I could .

Wow this is America last I checked. Zero alcohol he is free as a bird.
What possibly could he be arrested for or detained? Find Something? How Nice!

This is exactly why some dislike leo's They call that Fishing. ps
My thoughts, exactly.

More on this, later. Gotta head out to work...
 
Fifty years ago I was new in San Fernando California with a brand new job. I was 24 years old, single and worked swing shift as a guard. I got off, put on a jacket over my uniform shirt and stopped at a bar I had never been in. It was far from my style place so I downed one glass of beer and left. As I was pulling away from the front of the bar I seen a cruiser and knew he seen me. It was a full moonlight night. The cop turned around, SHUT his lights off and followed me over two miles. I was looking in the rear view mirror and seen him turn on his lights, speed up and hit me with the reds.
I pulled over and we went through the drill. He was obviously disappointed that I was sober. What did it for me was when he literaly scratched his head and then get the idea to write me up for cutting a corner. I was thinking what corner, but kept my mouth shut and signed the ticket. The next morning I went with my camera and looked at the intersection I had supposedly cut. There was a high built up island with a stop light on it. If I had cut the corner the way he drew it I certainly would have felt it, knocked down the stop light and probley got hung up on the divider. On top of that I knew he was following me and was doing my best to not go one mile over and obey all laws. I also noticed he wrote my truck was blue when it was white.
I decided to contest the ticket. At court a hot lookin lookalike to Marcia Clark, a assistant DA, maybe her?, tried to talk me into going to traffic school before my case come up. I said no, BS I am innocent and not going to school. I noticed the cop who wrote me, went over and sat alongside him because that is the way I was.
Case came up, cop got on the stand and I asked him first, was he color blind? He started to tell me no, they had to be ---The judge broke in, snorted at me and said that wouldnt make a difference anyway. Then he eyeballed the ticket, stopped the conversation and told the bailiff to get him such and such law book.
He read what he needed, asked the cop what he thought he had wrote me for. Turned out the numbers he law code he put down didnt have nothing to do with anything! He had pulled some numbers out of his butt and thought I would be so thankful for not getting a DUI I no doubt would thankfully pay the lesser charge.
The judge told me I could go and told the cop, I want to see you in my chambers!
That was the very start of my career of working for the hugest defense plant that at that time hired almost no one but retired LEO, military, or every other type of LE agency you could name. I spent over 35 years working with all them and am here to tell you there are both good and bad cops. Almost every one of my many co workers and close friends were one or the other, and I will tell you I aint a "Hero" worshiper.
When I got up to leave I told my new cop friend, "Sorry about that". He growled back, "Happens all the time" as he got up to check out the Judges chamber.
 
powder smoke said:
cruzerlou said:
Yep, gramps , that's what I thought too I'd bust his butt for everything I could .

Wow this is America last I checked. Zero alcohol he is free as a bird.
What possibly could he be arrested for or detained? Find Something? How Nice!

This is exactly why some dislike leo's They call that Fishing. ps
Yes it is a joke, but the funny wears thin, my father and stepmother were killed by a drunk driver! :shock: :twisted:
 
Something similar happened in Pirmasens. Club there served ice tea in frozen beer mugs. A few MP's made it a habit for a short while to check out the club, then wait outside for the "beer" drinkers to get in their car, automatic DUI; when they could prove it.
Big Old Boy said:
I hate drunk driver's.
I became a single parent when my kid was 3 thanks to a drunk.
 
I didn't mean to give the impression that I would be fishing as you call it. Here's the deal . It's well with in the rule of law for an Office to sit and watch patrons leave a bar to see if they appear to be beyond the legal limit to drive, follow them and they weave= probable cause to pull them and give a field sobriety test.
Just as it's O.K. for an Officer to sit and watch a suspicious guy behind a business after closing hours, same thing. If the guy acting like he was drunk to decoy me , KNOWING that someone WAS beyond the limit that's called interfering with an official investigation, I.E. a conspiracy to commit a crime, and is an accomplice before the fact specifically to D.U.I. , A misdemeanor. Now lest say that the guy that he decoyed me from is a habitual offender , he would be committing a felony , thus the conspiracy is now also a felony , if that guy kills some one because he is beyond the legal limit to drive that is felony D.U.I. and vehicular manslaughter and the decoy is also guilty in the eye of the law and is a accomplice before the fact and just as guilty as the guy driving .

I know this sounds technical, but the law is technical and specific to protect the right of the citizen and so that if a crime is committed there are limits as to what one can and can't be charged with . That's the way our system of justice works both Law Enforcement and citizens have to follow the same rules .
Now having said all that, Ed please know I apologize for hijacking your thread and the joke was funny , but when you've seen the other side of it things they are seen in a different light. Sorry my "COP" brain kick into gear it's just the way I'm wired .
Hope y'all understand,
Your Friend,
Lou
 
In the story as it was told, the driver was innocent of any unlawful act. The cop was negligent in focusing all of his attention on one NON-MOVING person while others drove away. However, IF the cop did observe the other patrons driving off and assessed that they were okay to drive, then the so-called decoy is not part of a conspiracy nor is he interfering with an investigation. When the driver was pulled over and was determined to be sober he should have got a "Thanks for your cooperation. Have a nice evening" from the officer. The cop should then rethink his methodology and apply different tactics in the future. To imply that an innocent person be in any way, shape, manner or form further harassed is ludicrous and highly unethical, regardless of the cop's pride and ideals.

Before anyone wants to tell me of the damage that can be done by a person driving under the influence, save yourself the time and trouble. I been there. Many of the forum members here lived through it with me. I know the harm it brings. That being said, there is no way I can or will condone "fishing" for trumped up charges against an otherwise innocent person. That's my opinion.

Peace and God bless, Wolfsong.
 
We all know its a honest joke. That`s how conversations develop and twist to other subjects that it reminds us of other story`s. I was raised in Wisconsin. I was working in Yosemite California and seen a car with Wisconsin plates and mentioned to the lady getting in it I was from Wisconsin and she said she was from Plainfield. I stupidly but jokingly said, "Oh, Old Ed Geins stomping grounds"? She started crying! One of the women he had killed was her best friend! The old sheriff that arrested him was a relative of mine and I should have known better as Plainfield wasn`t much bigger than a small village.
 
cruzerlou said:
Sorry I said a word. This is the LAST TIME I will ever express my thoughts on anything to do with a Law Enforcement issue .
Lou
Why is that, Cruzer? People see things differently all the time. And they have discussions, often from varying standpoints. No need to take it personally.

Peace and God bless, Wolfsong.
 
Not just you wolf not even you in fact there are some here that are plainly anti Law Enforcement and every time the subject comes up they are quick to jump in with both feet and its ALWAYS THE SAME ONES AND ALWAYS NEGATIVE FEEDBACK EVERY TIME.I don't need then abuse so I will no longer give them a chance to assume they know me, or what's in my heart and mind.
I did my job and did it well with the citizens rights in the for though of everything I did .
If I had to enforce a law,well I took an oath to do so, if they can't grasp the sanctity of that oath then they have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME OR MY THOUGHTS OR ACTIONS.
Lou
 
FastEd said:
powder smoke said:
Sorry Ed didn't mean to Hi Jack thread couldn't help myself. ps

Hey Powder Smoke, way up there in central Maine, what Is Milo famous for ?
That looks like some lonesome country...

Not lonesome folks around.
Central Maine is an outdoors man paradise. Hunting Fishing Hiking White Water Rafting plenty to do.
Vacationland is it's claim to fame. Not to far from the coast a couple hour ride.
Winter brings skiing and snowmobiling along with Ice Fishing and dogsled racing.
Maine has 5 seasons Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, Between Winter and Spring is Mud season.
Sap will be running soon my neighbor and I will start collecting it from Maple trees and make syrup.
Beautiful country should check it out sometime. ps
 
cruzerlou said:
Sorry I said a word. This is the LAST TIME I will ever express my thoughts on anything to do with a Law Enforcement issue .
Lou

Do not be sorry! Your opinion counts Lou. I probably should of keep my comments
to myself also. My only point was the guy was innocent let him go and get
the guys who are not. ps
 
Gramps sorry for the loss of your dog.

Ed. The joke was funny. I've heard a couple different variations of it. One was like a woman in a bar being a decoy to fend off all the drunk guys from her friends or something. I'm not so good at telling jokes.

Lou, your opinion is nice to hear and very valid. Thank you
 
Lou, the bottom line here is:
All Policemen have experienced funny situations. Doesn't mean they are not good cops.
When I worked at the Pistol Parlor I heard a lot of funny stories from Policemen and Sheriffs,
both men and women. Some were pretty darned funny.

Cops' reputations still suffer from all the stuff that happened in the 40s, 50s, and 60s.
That was probably way before your time. Back then they were in charge and they liked pushing people around.
I remember when I-75 was opening up from Detroit to Florida. All the things they did to travelers in Tennessee and Georgia paved the way for all the laws you guys have to put up with now. Thankfully all that stuff is over with. Some things pop up occasionally. Overall I think the public is happy with the their Police Departments, now.

I used to hear a lot of funny stories from Harley riders too...
 
Kevin said:
Gramps sorry for the loss of your dog.

Ed. The joke was funny. I've heard a couple different variations of it. One was like a woman in a bar being a decoy to fend off all the drunk guys from her friends or something. I'm not so good at telling jokes.

Lou, your opinion is nice to hear and very valid. Thank you

I always hate to have to explain a joke I tell.
Its not about Cops. The joke was just a play on words.

The original line here would be: "Tonight I am the designated driver." I'm sure everybody has heard about that.
The play on words would be: "Tonight I am the designated decoy."

So since this is the most exciting thing that will happen in my life today I need to go take a nap and when I wake up refreshed I will try to come up with something else that will get everybody irritated...

 
Three hermits were sitting a cave. A Knight rode by on a white horse. Three years later a hermit said that was a nice white horse. Two years later one of the other hermits says that was`nt a white horse, it was a dark one. A couple years later the third hermit gets up, starts walking off and says, I am leaving. I cant take this constant bickering.
 
powder smoke said:
FastEd said:
powder smoke said:
Sorry Ed didn't mean to Hi Jack thread couldn't help myself. ps

Hey Powder Smoke, way up there in central Maine, what Is Milo famous for ?
That looks like some lonesome country...

Back in 1980 I was in Quebec and thinking about driving over to Moncton to the annual Lobster Festival, but running out of time I drove down to Portland. Stayed right down town near the waterfront. The fog was so thick you couldn't see across the street. I did find an old restaurant where I ate lobster for two days. The cook also introduced me to lobster bisque. That stuff was so good it should be against the law...
 
Guys, for over 35 years I was a night watchman. Now if there is any other job that the public thinks is a lower job, its a garbage collector. I did that too! Do you have any idea how many guard story`s are out there? I think a part of my figured wages was for knowing I was going to have to take a LOT of ribbing for such a dead head job. Once a guy came up to me and told me this story: A fellow go`s to a factory looking for a job. The interviewer ask`s him what he could do or had done. The interviewer asks him can he run a drill press. No. Can you run a fork lift? No. Can you read blueprints? No. Can you run a mill? No. Wonderful! We have just the job for you! You will be our night watchman!
The funny part is Lockheed Aircraft where I worked, hired mostly retired military, retired LEO`s from every agency you can think of and probley some you never heard of, I also worked with a number of retired Air Force pilots, some engineers out of work, you name it. When you rub shoulders with all your co workers one of the above for 35 years on a high turnover job, about a 200 person department and most on their second career, I suppose I worked with at least over a 1,000 guards in those years. I think we had every personality there is, I got to hear more old war story`s than anyone could believe from every agency you can name. My buddy`s were all retired cops, federal prison screws, FBI, CID, retired troopers, deputy's from many states etc. Most had a thick skin. Most had a great sense of humor.
 

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