GP100
Buckeye
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2010
- Messages
- 1,136
To the board Members,
I wish to take a moment to say thank you to those that have supported my book.. There are those that have enjoyed it and encouraged me to continue with it, and there have been those that have condemned me for it and hated my guts because of it.. It doesn't matter.. Either way, I wrote the book as therapy for my feelings on things in my life, and a way of putting my memories down on paper.. Or the internet I guess.. Depends how you look at it I suppose..
Either way, I've made some friends because of it, and made some enemy's because of it.. But I suppose that is the way of life.. Isn't it? You will always have those that either like you, love you, or hate you.. It's just the way it works in life.. I've spent a lifetime working hard, and doing everything the right way.. Nothing has ever come easily for me in life.. You win some, you lose some.. I gave every bit of fight I had in life to fight the evils that befell me in this world.. I fought hard to push back and come out "hopefully" on top of it all, and still find a way to survive it all.. Some battles you just cannot win no matter how damn hard you fight, or how much you sacrifice along the way.. Such is life my friends..
I've tried to be a good man throughout my life and help others.. No matter what it cost me, I tried.. Because it was the right thing to do in my opinion.. I have no regrets.. I lived my life the way Dar taught me to be.. He taught me everything I know.. But he didn't teach me everything he knew.. I loved him dearly and tried my best to make him proud of my life, and my achievements.. I hope I earned it in his eyes..
There are those on the board that I have had a relationship with, who have sent me letters to my home, and even birthday cards.. Thank you for that.. It has meant a great deal to me.. So, without going into detail, I wish to inform you, that as of Tuesday the 18th, I will no longer have an address for you to corespondent with me.. Due no fault of my own..
I don't wish to discuss it.. It's to much for me to handle emotionally.. I have talked with two people on the board about it.. Contender was one of them.. I just needed someone to talk to, since I'm alone in the world with no family as a support system.. We all need someone to talk to in the world at times.. And I chose to talk to him and the other person because they have been great supporters of my book.. Tyrone has supported me and pushed me to continue the book, even though there have been detractors.. Thank you Tyrone for your support.. I will always appreciate that..
To those that hate me because of the book, and have condemned me for it? So be it.. I hold no animosity towards you for your feelings on it.. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I cannot control that.. You feel the way you do.. I hold no grudges for that.. It is, what it is..
If I continue to get a cell phone signal, I will endeavor to continue the book until I can't anymore.. I am a hospice patient pretty much at the end of life, as you know.. So I will do the best I can with what I'll have left to work with.. Perhaps I will be able to finish the book in time before my health degrades even further now from this.. I simply cannot answer that.. Depends on where I am in the world at the time.. And honestly, I cannot answer that right now.. Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes..
I am embarrassed and humiliated right now.. Dar would be angry as hell if he was alive.. He was like my father to me.. I failed him in this instance.. I'm sorry dad.. I love you.. Forgive me.. You taught me better.. You taught me to never be at other people's mercy, because human nature is that people will let you down every time.. You were right.. You've been gone since 86, and you're still teaching me your lessons.. You were a good father figure, even though you didn't think so at the time.. Perhaps you would have made my life better had I actually been your son from birth.. I guess none of us will ever know the answer to that..
And to the board members, I wish you all a good life if I don't get to talk with you again.. I've not contributed to the board much recently, or talked to anyone recently.. And it wasn't anything personal.. I just have things going on in my life that I didn't want to discuss because some people don't want to hear it.. All they want to hear is that everything is just peachy. If I tell them the truth then they tell me I'm being negative and they proceed to make me feel worse about myself than I already do.. And I simply don't need that crap.. It's easy for you to say that stuff when you have a nice warm meal and a nice warm bed at night.. So, instead of lying to you, and telling you what you want to hear, I've simply avoided talking to people.. Because I refuse to lie just to make people feel better while I feel like crap warmed over.. I feel bad enough about my life as it is, without having other people dog pile on me and telling where where I went wrong..
I already know where I screwed up.. I don't need a stupid road map pointing it out..
Either way, thank you for your support with the book folks.. I'll do what I can, when I can.. Stuff being packed.. All of you take care and good luck in life..
I wish you all the very best.. Sincerely.. Goodbye my friends..
I will say this.. I deserved better than this at the end..
Michael..
I wish to take a moment to say thank you to those that have supported my book.. There are those that have enjoyed it and encouraged me to continue with it, and there have been those that have condemned me for it and hated my guts because of it.. It doesn't matter.. Either way, I wrote the book as therapy for my feelings on things in my life, and a way of putting my memories down on paper.. Or the internet I guess.. Depends how you look at it I suppose..
Either way, I've made some friends because of it, and made some enemy's because of it.. But I suppose that is the way of life.. Isn't it? You will always have those that either like you, love you, or hate you.. It's just the way it works in life.. I've spent a lifetime working hard, and doing everything the right way.. Nothing has ever come easily for me in life.. You win some, you lose some.. I gave every bit of fight I had in life to fight the evils that befell me in this world.. I fought hard to push back and come out "hopefully" on top of it all, and still find a way to survive it all.. Some battles you just cannot win no matter how damn hard you fight, or how much you sacrifice along the way.. Such is life my friends..
I've tried to be a good man throughout my life and help others.. No matter what it cost me, I tried.. Because it was the right thing to do in my opinion.. I have no regrets.. I lived my life the way Dar taught me to be.. He taught me everything I know.. But he didn't teach me everything he knew.. I loved him dearly and tried my best to make him proud of my life, and my achievements.. I hope I earned it in his eyes..
There are those on the board that I have had a relationship with, who have sent me letters to my home, and even birthday cards.. Thank you for that.. It has meant a great deal to me.. So, without going into detail, I wish to inform you, that as of Tuesday the 18th, I will no longer have an address for you to corespondent with me.. Due no fault of my own..
I don't wish to discuss it.. It's to much for me to handle emotionally.. I have talked with two people on the board about it.. Contender was one of them.. I just needed someone to talk to, since I'm alone in the world with no family as a support system.. We all need someone to talk to in the world at times.. And I chose to talk to him and the other person because they have been great supporters of my book.. Tyrone has supported me and pushed me to continue the book, even though there have been detractors.. Thank you Tyrone for your support.. I will always appreciate that..
To those that hate me because of the book, and have condemned me for it? So be it.. I hold no animosity towards you for your feelings on it.. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I cannot control that.. You feel the way you do.. I hold no grudges for that.. It is, what it is..
If I continue to get a cell phone signal, I will endeavor to continue the book until I can't anymore.. I am a hospice patient pretty much at the end of life, as you know.. So I will do the best I can with what I'll have left to work with.. Perhaps I will be able to finish the book in time before my health degrades even further now from this.. I simply cannot answer that.. Depends on where I am in the world at the time.. And honestly, I cannot answer that right now.. Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes..
I am embarrassed and humiliated right now.. Dar would be angry as hell if he was alive.. He was like my father to me.. I failed him in this instance.. I'm sorry dad.. I love you.. Forgive me.. You taught me better.. You taught me to never be at other people's mercy, because human nature is that people will let you down every time.. You were right.. You've been gone since 86, and you're still teaching me your lessons.. You were a good father figure, even though you didn't think so at the time.. Perhaps you would have made my life better had I actually been your son from birth.. I guess none of us will ever know the answer to that..
And to the board members, I wish you all a good life if I don't get to talk with you again.. I've not contributed to the board much recently, or talked to anyone recently.. And it wasn't anything personal.. I just have things going on in my life that I didn't want to discuss because some people don't want to hear it.. All they want to hear is that everything is just peachy. If I tell them the truth then they tell me I'm being negative and they proceed to make me feel worse about myself than I already do.. And I simply don't need that crap.. It's easy for you to say that stuff when you have a nice warm meal and a nice warm bed at night.. So, instead of lying to you, and telling you what you want to hear, I've simply avoided talking to people.. Because I refuse to lie just to make people feel better while I feel like crap warmed over.. I feel bad enough about my life as it is, without having other people dog pile on me and telling where where I went wrong..
I already know where I screwed up.. I don't need a stupid road map pointing it out..
Either way, thank you for your support with the book folks.. I'll do what I can, when I can.. Stuff being packed.. All of you take care and good luck in life..
I wish you all the very best.. Sincerely.. Goodbye my friends..
I will say this.. I deserved better than this at the end..
Michael..