The nightmare of nursing home care

[Colonialgirl]

The local VA hospital did a good job for me both times I was in for something over several days.

 

[Ranger]

Visiting a nursing home certainly helps make the case for euthanasia being legal under certain circumstances. If we purport to support euthanasia being the humane option for our pets at some point, how is it not for ourselves and loved ones? I've heard too many stories of nursing home residents praying and pleading to die.

 

[Bob Wright]

My beloved wife, Nita, spent several weeks in nursing/rehab facility and that nearly killed my soul. The paces were nightmares. The facility was dark and foreboding in its décor. The furnishing looked as if they were from the Salvation Army, old and scarred, and mismatched. The nurse call light went unanswered for twenty to forty minutes.

And Nita begged me not to complain as she feared retaliation from the staff. And this fear was not unfounded from my observation. Several times I witnessed rough treatment to helpless patients.

And even worse, while the furnishings were new and better, hospital care was not much better.

Bob Wright

 

[Cholo]

↑ That must have been absolutely heart wrenching

 

[Mobuck]

Grouch Attack has been 'sentenced' to caring for her mother until it becomes too technical or until that care is no longer necessary. I voted for this since there's no reason GA sits around doing absolutely NOTHING while the family pays $1K/week for someone to sit around in a different building watching/waiting for Gramma to succumb to her frailty.

 

[Dave P.]

My mother spent some time last winter in the rehab part of a facility in Florida, Spent time in there with her and it was nice place. Clean modern
with a staff that communicated well and seemed to care. Her Blue Cross insurance wanted to discharge her before both she and I thought she
could go home by herself. A week of extra stay and daily rehab work cost me $2750 at their daily rates. Based on the facility and stories I'd heard
I though it would have been higher.
Contrast this with my father-in-law here in Michigan...old grubby facility, non-responsive staff and management....etc. Costing them just under
$9000 per month. Insurance has been used up, now burning their life savings and when that's gone it will be Medicaid.
Lot to be said for being hit by a bus.
If you have assets you want to protect better start figuring out how early, an attorney that KNOWS Medicaid and elder law might be a good
investment. Either that or the bus!

 

[Mobuck]

'If you have assets you want to protect better start figuring out how early, an attorney that KNOWS Medicaid and elder law might be a good
investment. Either that or the bus!'
correct^^
MIL is/was far too greedy to place her assets in a trust. Now, it's too late. Too many assets to get much aid/financial assistance but those assets aren't 'money in the bank'--farm land is valuable but not spendable. Lots of twists and turns in the money end of elder care.

 

[T.A. WORKMAN]

My ML was in a nursing home for a year and a half, and I would have to say she received pretty good care and was well looked after.

Now I'll tell you why my wife (a nurse) and her sister never missed a day of not going to visit. I don't mean 15-30 minutes, they always stayed a couple of hours at least.
My BL and I would visit two or three times a week also. My wife always spoke with the duty nurse & if there were any concerns they made sure they were addressed before they left.
The people working there always knew her daughters would be in to visit so I believed that had a lot to do with it.

What saddened me the most was the people who would put their parents in there and then hardly ever came to visit let alone call and check on them. It was a damn shame pure & simple!
My wife and her sister knew every patient in my ML's wing on a first name basis, and they looked forward to the girls coming in just to have someone to chat with. Made their day also!
It's a damn shame the way the elderly are treated in some of those places.
Terry

 

[Jeepnik]

My beloved wife, Nita, spent several weeks in nursing/rehab facility and that nearly killed my soul. The paces were nightmares. The facility was dark and foreboding in its décor. The furnishing looked as if they were from the Salvation Army, old and scarred, and mismatched. The nurse call light went unanswered for twenty to forty minutes.

And Nita begged me not to complain as she feared retaliation from the staff. And this fear was not unfounded from my observation. Several times I witnessed rough treatment to helpless patients.

And even worse, while the furnishings were new and better, hospital care was not much better.

Bob Wright

Bob, if you witnessed "rough treatment" report it to the state agency that regulates nursing homes. Patients are rarely able. Families, as you stated, fear retaliation. But now that Nita is with God you can and should take action.

 

[Jeepnik]

My ML was in a nursing home for a year and a half, and I would have to say she received pretty good care and was well looked after.

Now I'll tell you why my wife (a nurse) and her sister never missed a day of not going to visit. I don't mean 15-30 minutes, they always stayed a couple of hours at least.
My BL and I would visit two or three times a week also. My wife always spoke with the duty nurse & if there were any concerns they made sure they were addressed before they left.
The people working there always knew her daughters would be in to visit so I believed that had a lot to do with it.

What saddened me the most was the people who would put their parents in there and then hardly ever came to visit let alone call and check on them. It was a damn shame pure & simple!
My wife and her sister knew every patient in my ML's wing on a first name basis, and they looked forward to the girls coming in just to have someone to chat with. Made their day also!
It's a damn shame the way the elderly are treated in some of those places.
Terry

My mon also spent a bit of time on two ocassions in rehab facilities. Only one very small step up from "convalescent" homes. In each case we got her out as soon as she was able. In additon, two of my sisters are RN's. They made darned sure the staff knew it. I ask several pointed questions and they understood I had some sort of background. Didn't tell them it was in the 70's.

When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer we promised to keep her at home. Fortunately her financial situation allowed 24 hour in home care. That's also full of pitfalls, but we were exceptionally lucky with the woman who did the lion's share of the time and kept the others in line.

 

[Dave P.]

My mon also spent a bit of time on two ocassions in rehab facilities. Only one very small step up from "convalescent" homes. In each case we got her out as soon as she was able. In additon, two of my sisters are RN's. They made darned sure the staff knew it. I ask several pointed questions and they understood I had some sort of background. Didn't tell them it was in the 70's.

I think this is what's needed most of the time. When my father-in-law first went in to the facility he's at there were plenty of issues. My wife who is not on the medical side but has worked as management in medical fields most of her life started showing up at random times several times a week starting to address issues, things changed. If you piss her off she will professionally and mostly politely gnaw your face off and then start on your supervisor's.
Sorry for the staff If she asks them a question and they answer " I think so " or " I'm sure somebody did ".
Eventually they decided to do proper care vs. dealing with her too often. For $9000 per month it should NOT be that way.