SQUIRREL INFESTATIONS IN CHURCHES

[Colonialgirl]

(This one is for Ty)


SQUIRREL INFESTATIONS IN CHURCHES



The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels.
After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.



At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.
The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, they knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.



The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures.
So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church .
Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.



But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy.
They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.



Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him.
They haven't seen a squirrel since.

:roll: :roll:

 

[Jeepnik]

Heck, I thought you were talking about this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU

 

[coach]

My father would have appreciated that joke.

 

[Ale-8(1)]

Beat me to it, Jeep.

:wink:

 

[Colonialgirl]

Heck, I thought you were talking about this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU

That INDEED is a goody and will go out to everyone I sent the Squirrel Infestation to via email INCLUDING the person that sent it to me !!

 

[contender]

 

[gramps]

Yeah buddy, this place is full of entertainment! :mrgreen:
gramps

 

[Mobuck]

"Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him.
They haven't seen a squirrel since. "

I wonder if that would work for illegals????????????????

 

[Dave P.]

I wonder if that would work for illegals????????????????

Side cutters or a belt sander?
Dave

 

[contender]

Y'all won't believe this,,, but I just got off the phone with a church. They have a squirrel,,, in the Sanctuary, trapped in a room. There is a funeral at 11:00 am,, and I'm going after that to catch it. I read the above OP to the lady I spoke with,, and she got a good chuckle out of it.

 

[Pal Val]

Y'all won't believe this,,, but I just got off the phone with a church. They have a squirrel,,, in the Sanctuary, trapped in a room. There is a funeral at 11:00 am,, and I'm going after that to catch it. I read the above OP to the lady I spoke with,, and she got a good chuckle out of it.

No need to catch it. Just tell the church secretary to write it up a tithe note, and they'll never see that squirrel again.

 

[contender]

Well, the squirrel was quickly caught & removed. No disturbance for the funeral. I took them a copy of the above OP. They enjoyed it. (It was a Presbyterian Church.)

 

[blume357]

I know a sweep that went to a house to get squirrels out of a chimney... simple way is to drop a rope down and then just let them find their way out... but the home owner was not willing to wait and wanted the guy to open the damper to the fireplace and coax them out... when he did one got out in the house and they spent about 10 minutes chasing the little bugger around. finally the home owner said wait a minute and went to the back... squirrel is still running all around the room... home owner comes back with a shot gun and 'BAM' ... hit the squirrel and put a nice hole through the wall.. double aught buckshot.

 

[contender]

Yep,,, I've had such customers. Heck, at the church yesterday,,, a guy mentioned he had a shotgun. I asked if he was skilled in wall repair?
I had someone almost shoot a black snake in their house once. I told them to wait until I got there. I caught the snake,, no damage to the home.

 

[SR1911SHOOTER]

"Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him.
They haven't seen a squirrel since. "

I wonder if that would work for illegals????????????????

What Mobuck said!
Blackie

 

[GLASSMAN]

Good one!
A laugh a day. Good for the soul. :lol:

 

[blume357]

Now that I think about it ... when I was in my mid teens friends and I spent weekends in our 'club' house.. a tenant house way out in the country than my grandmother gave us... one day one of my buddies saw movement under my bed... rattler... I took it out with a shotgun....think: redneck nerds, that's what we were.