Let's Have Some Fun... Post A Gun Related Meme, Or Tell A Gun Related Joke.

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Billy1953

Bearcat
Joined
Sep 7, 2022
Messages
54
Location
01452
1669895700435.png
 

Billy1953

Bearcat
Joined
Sep 7, 2022
Messages
54
Location
01452
THE DUCK HUNTER

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Kick Rule?" The farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you and then you kick me, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.

After rolling on the ground in terrible pain for a long time the lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will, and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn."

The old farmer said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
 

LDM

Blackhawk
Joined
Nov 16, 2015
Messages
767
This one's a little morbid, but here goes.

Two lifelong buddies went deer hunting every fall.
One of the guys accidentally shoots his buddy.
At the hospital, the ER doctor comes out and says, "I'm very sorry to tell you this but your friend is dead."
"Oh dear. This is terrible. How am I going to tell his family? Tell me, doctor, is there anything I could have done to save him?"
The doctor replies, "It would have helped if you hadn't field dressed him before you brought him here."
 

Bob Wright

Hawkeye
Joined
Jun 24, 2004
Messages
6,691
Location
Memphis, TN USA
A young preacher still in seminary was driving along some mountain roads in East Tennessee when an old timer stepped out in front of him. The mountaineer held a jug of moonshine in one hand while pointing an old Springfied trap door rifle at the preacher.

"Mister, have a drink," the old timer said, offering the jug to the preacher.

"Uh... I'm a Baptist preacher and don't drink," stammered the preacher.

"Mister, I said have a drink, and it ain't polite to refuse one." And with that, he brandished the rifle more threateningly.

So, the preacher took the offered jug and sipped a little of the mountain nectar, choking and coughing.

"Whew! That's potent stuff." said the preacher.


The old timer then handed the preacher the rifle. "Now you hold the gun on me," he ordered.


Bob Wright
 

Bob Wright

Hawkeye
Joined
Jun 24, 2004
Messages
6,691
Location
Memphis, TN USA
Two old cowboys were out foraging for food. They made it up that whoever shot the deer, the other would dress it out. Directly a calf bolted from the brush, and the old timer unlimbered his Winchester and snapped off a shot. A wild shot that missed the calf by a yard.

"Haw, haw!" guffawed his companion. "You not only shot at a calf, but missed it clean."

"Shows what you know, you dern fool!" snorted the older one, "Couldn't you tell I was a-shootin' to hit it if it was a deer, but to miss it if'n it was a calf?"


Bob Wright
 

Bob Wright

Hawkeye
Joined
Jun 24, 2004
Messages
6,691
Location
Memphis, TN USA
My aunt, my mother's youngest sister, was widowed, the widow of my uncle who was pretty much of a gun buff. She had been widowed long enough she was seeking male companionship.

At home, she kept an old Colt Army Special close by at night, just in case. One night she heard some commotion outside her window. Grabbing that Colt up, she called out the window, "If there's a man out there, come in or I'll shoot!"

This a true story told by my aunt. And she didn't remain a widow much longer, either.

Bob Wright
 

RC44Mag

Bearcat
Joined
Jul 18, 2022
Messages
602
Location
Long Island
THE DUCK HUNTER

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Kick Rule?" The farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you and then you kick me, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.

After rolling on the ground in terrible pain for a long time the lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will, and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn."

The old farmer said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
A classic but the art is in the telling, by the master himself
 
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