I think I know how to know that you are old

[vito]

I'm closing in on 80, and I know that just hearing that most people would conclude I am decrepitly old. And sometimes I do feel old with aches and pains that take longer to go away than when I was younger, and inescapably recognizing diminished strength and other physical attributes. But most of the time I feel much the same as I have felt all my life, and it comes back to me in jarring reality that if I'm lucky I can look forward to a decade, or maybe a decade and a half before everything turns black and cold. Even at 79 and a half I find that I still want things. I'm fortunate in that there really is little that I need, but there is still lots of things that I want. And I think that this is what keeps me from being really, really old. When you reach the point where you find yourself thinking that there is nothing that you really want, then I guess you know you are really old.

And wanting "things" doesn't mean like wanting your knees to not ache after a short walk, or wanting a good BM in the morning. Wanting "things" means like I want a European made RV that I saw on YouTube that is a 40+ foot diesel pusher with a "garage" in the midsection of the RV made to carry a small car (rather than towing one). I know I will never likely be able to afford the $2 million price tag unless I hit the lottery, but I think about that RV and know that I want it. On a lesser level, I've been wanting a lever action 357magnum carbine for awhile. I just haven't gotten myself to spend the $1,000 on a gun that I have no need for and would have a challenge finding a place to shoot it, but I still want it. I know that I'd like a few more motorcycles. I certainly have what I need and can enjoy that, but I still want some more. I feel pretty certain that if one morning I wake up and say to myself that I have pretty much everything that I have ever wanted that will be the day that I know I am truly old.

What prompted this was my running into a former employee of mine this morning. She worked for me for about a dozen years and had told me about her grandfather, a successful farmer, who at 99 had hired a contractor to totally remodel his master bathroom. At the time she told me this she had been puzzled by why someone that old would want to spend the money and go through the hassle of a big remodeling job. I remember then telling her that even though he surely knew that he would not get to enjoy the new bathroom for very long, he probably thought "why not?". He could afford it and it showed that he was still looking forward to things, not just waiting to die. When I ran into her today she told me that her grandfather had passed, so I asked her about that bathroom remodeling from years ago. She smiled and said she remembered the converstation, and that Grandpa had enjoyed that new bathroom with its big Jacuzzi tub for a few years before he had a stroke at 103 and passed soon afterwards.

And money had little to do with this whole subject. Its not the getting of things that matters, its just the wanting. Wanting things means we are still able to look ahead to a future, even if its a short term future, and are not just ready to pack it all in and fade away.

 

[JPGLSG1234]

I want my three custom guns finished up and returned. Wife said I didn't need a new GMC truck, mine was still new, told her I didn't care I was going to get a new one this year anyway. I'm wanting stuff all the time, we are Men do we ever not want stuff ??

Let me add I've got a lot of hiking I want to do out in Wyoming before I'm too old to move.

 

[GunnyGene]

I'm 78, and there is a lot of truth in what you said. 👍

 

[KIR]

Vito,
Thanks man. I too am close to turning 80, in May as a matter of fact. That is a great post and I am in somewhat similar circumstances with several decisions to make about fixing up things in and around my castle. When I was younger, I thought that I wanted to die right after the year 2000, then I said, wait, after the Super Bowl...but by then I had a new wife and a son, so maybe just a little longer to spend more time with them. Near the end of 2000, my wife was diagnosed with the Big 'C' and I knew all I wanted to do was to take care of her as I promised to do in our wedding vows. Vows not really made to her, but vows made to myself that I would do what I could to make her life happier. One of the things she wanted was to see the ocean, so we took a trip to San Francisco, down to Monterrey where we stayed on a friend's boat. That was in 2008. My son had decided to stay in the army for twenty, which he did and I made it a point to hang in there and support him, his wife and daughter as best I could. Being a baseball fan, I was thrilled to watch ANGELS baseball with Trout and Shohei, especially since Mike signed a long term contract and the phenomenal pitcher/hitter that Shohei was/is. I bought a used Nikon camera for $80 and started taking pictures of the beauty that is in my life, all around the Truckee Meadows, the Sparks/Reno area, Tahoe, Pyramid and other surrounding areas. I guess what I am wanting to say, it's not over til it's over. My great grandmother lived until she was 100. I am feeling aches and pains when I go out to the indoor range or the desert to go shooting, but it gives me a great feeling of accomplishment. I want to try for 100. Anyone else up for the challenge...GO FOR IT!

 

[Danjet500]

I'm not quite as old but I keep telling my wife that I want to buy a 49-50 Ford coupe. I've had these ideas in my head for years of how I would customize it. Chop the top, lower it, coyote engine, tan leather interior. All kinds of mods. I've already got a couple other toys in the barn but she says I have to sell one before I get another. I may just get another gun. Like Vito, I want a .44 lever rifle. Decisions, decisions.

 

[SamV]

I recall talking with my great uncle that enjoyed gardening. He usually planted rose bushes and other flowers, maybe a raspberry plant or such. One year he put in maybe a dozen fruit trees, apples, peaches, plums, and pecans. This was like 55 years ago, so no cute little miniature hybrid trees that you can put in a pot or that produce fruit soon. These would take years to grow and be productive. I asked him why he did this in his eighties. He said that he enjoyed it and it didn’t mater wether he would see fruit. He said someone would have fruit. He loved tending them. He lived another five or six years, before dying at 89. I can’t recall if he really ever got any fruit. But he was right because I remember picking lots of fruit about 10 years later.

I don’t think you are really talking about simple material acquisitions. I think you are saying that you want to continue to enjoy life and look forward to some activities and projects. For you, it is some extensions of your hobbies and other things. I would be concerned if you were unhealthily materially obsessed, falling into a kind of “false idols” kind of situation, but that doesn’t sound like what you are describing.

 

[eveled]

The old folks I’ve dealt with over the years, all start saying “thats the last time I’ll ever do that”.

Ok if you say it when you put a 40 year roof on your house, but the timing get shorter and shorter.

One day they probably said it at breakfast.

 

[Hvymax]

When you start getting rid of stuff to spare your kids is when you've given up on life. I just got a couple new welding machines so I can build an aluminum boat or 2.

 

[Mobuck]

I'm 'only' 70 and I 'want' lots of things I can't really use anymore. I 'need' to upgrade my work pickup but just this week I decided to just retire rather than continue the constant hassle of managing 5 employees and wrangling with a Federal agency that doesn't know which way is UP. I still 'want' to upgrade the pickup but now have no justification (or funding) to support that 'want'.
Too many things have happened here over the past few months to allow 'wants' to over ride 'needs' at the present time. Replacing the buildings and tools lost in the fire have precedent over everything beyond 2023 crop production supplies and keeping the house warm.

 

[Johnny-Baseball]

Vito, your observation is very similar to mine. Recently, I've found that "realism" creeps into my desires.

Yes, I want a new C8 Corvette, but then I must admit that I'm no longer skilled enough (at age 75) to enjoy driving it. Yes, I want a Henry rifle, but I must admit that I don't want to drive 60 miles to the nearest outdoor gun range so I can fire it. Yes, I'd like a new F-150 (gasoline-powered), but I must admit that I no longer do things that would require ownership of a pickup. Yes, I'd like a new Harley Road Glide for weekend runs from DFW to the Texas Hill Country, but I must admit that I'm no longer athletic enough to be a safe rider.

So for me, "wanting things" is a ride in the Way-Back machine to a time when I DID enjoy those things.

When I stop wanting those things, it'll be an admission that I'm "OLD." So, I'll keep fantasizing as long as I can. As Clint Eastwood noted to Toby Keith, "Don't let the old man in."

 

[Armybrat]

I'm 78, and there is a lot of truth in what you said. 👍

Same here.
I am facing aorta valve replacement in a few weeks, but would like to order a new SA 1911 just for grins (gifted all three of my 1911s to family).

 

[jimbo1096]

Hey Vito, You just said what I've been feeling the past couple of weeks. And I am even thinking about that bathroom remodel I planned a couple years ago and never pulled the trigger. And the RV, and a lever gun in 44 or 45 or even 444.
I'm just a lot slower getting things done lately.

 

[nvbirdman]

When I was 77 years old I ordered myself a Porsche 911. I could easily afford it, so why not?

 

[vito]

The only thing that keeps me from spending my money on goodies right now is the concern for my wife. Should I kick the bucket my military pension drops to almost nothing for her, and that pension has been the primary income for our retired life. But other than that I have no desire to leave an inheritance for my grown kids. But I have no intention of denying myself at least some of those goodies that I still want.

Years ago when I was the Administrator of a large nursing home in Milwaukee, we had a woman who ran our gift shop as a volunteer. But she took the job seriously and was there pretty much every day and all day. Her husband, who was about mid 80's, tagged along and also served as a volunteer. One day this gentleman was telling me that he and his wife had no children, and that he had several million in savings and investments and would love to take some exotic vacations that they could easily afford. But his wife was so devoted to her little gift shop job that she would never agree to get away for a vacation. I advised him to consider going on his own rather than risk getting too old to enjoy his own money. He agreed, in principle, saying that if he and his wife died the money would end up going to some nephews and nieces, none of whom did he care for. But weeks and months went by and he just showed up every day at the nursing home helping out his wife in her volunteer work. Then one day he collapsed on the floor with a massive stroke. After a short hospital stay he was back in the nursing home, this time as a bed bound resident, and he could watch his savings steadily go to the nursing home for his round-the-clock care as he was essentially a total paralytic. I vowed that I would never let myself become that sad man.

 

[gasbag]

Last June I had a VERY bad heart attack. I'm 78.
They didn't know if I was going to live for about a week.
Had a 5-way bypass and a cardiac implant.
Now that I am vertical once again and doing better I
am beginning to start doing things I was 'putting off'
because I thought I was too old or didn't have the time.
I have been given more time now and I am not going to waste it.

 

[redhawker]

I think one of the ways to tell how old you are is by how many doctors you have. When you're young, maybe you don't even have a regular doctor. You use the walk-in clinic or the ER for any "bigger" stuff. Once you start getting up there you have your primary doctor, cardiologist, urologist, podiatrist, etc. I think I'm up to about 12 now.

 

[LDM]

I knew I was old when a doctor lees that half my age told me to use Metamucil.

 

[john guedry]

One thing I notice is darn near everyone on this forum is ~80. (79 here). By Vito's reconing I'm pretty normal. Descent health etc. Enjoy life and be thankful.

 

[snipe10]

I'm 66 and feel 26, and am stronger and healthier than I was in my 20's. I have two boys, 19 and 21 and my main focus now is making sure they're set up to survive when I'm gone. Trying to pay off the ranch, get them both plenty of supplies (all kinds) and some mailbox money so they always have income coming in. I still want things and buy just about whatever I want, when In want it. But am at least thinking more about it these days, so now I'm buying and thinking, ha.

 

[harley08]

I'm closing in on 80, and I know that just hearing that most people would conclude I am decrepitly old. And sometimes I do feel old with aches and pains that take longer to go away than when I was younger, and inescapably recognizing diminished strength and other physical attributes. But most of the time I feel much the same as I have felt all my life, and it comes back to me in jarring reality that if I'm lucky I can look forward to a decade, or maybe a decade and a half before everything turns black and cold. Even at 79 and a half I find that I still want things. I'm fortunate in that there really is little that I need, but there is still lots of things that I want. And I think that this is what keeps me from being really, really old. When you reach the point where you find yourself thinking that there is nothing that you really want, then I guess you know you are really old.

And wanting "things" doesn't mean like wanting your knees to not ache after a short walk, or wanting a good BM in the morning. Wanting "things" means like I want a European made RV that I saw on YouTube that is a 40+ foot diesel pusher with a "garage" in the midsection of the RV made to carry a small car (rather than towing one). I know I will never likely be able to afford the $2 million price tag unless I hit the lottery, but I think about that RV and know that I want it. On a lesser level, I've been wanting a lever action 357magnum carbine for awhile. I just haven't gotten myself to spend the $1,000 on a gun that I have no need for and would have a challenge finding a place to shoot it, but I still want it. I know that I'd like a few more motorcycles. I certainly have what I need and can enjoy that, but I still want some more. I feel pretty certain that if one morning I wake up and say to myself that I have pretty much everything that I have ever wanted that will be the day that I know I am truly old.

What prompted this was my running into a former employee of mine this morning. She worked for me for about a dozen years and had told me about her grandfather, a successful farmer, who at 99 had hired a contractor to totally remodel his master bathroom. At the time she told me this she had been puzzled by why someone that old would want to spend the money and go through the hassle of a big remodeling job. I remember then telling her that even though he surely knew that he would not get to enjoy the new bathroom for very long, he probably thought "why not?". He could afford it and it showed that he was still looking forward to things, not just waiting to die. When I ran into her today she told me that her grandfather had passed, so I asked her about that bathroom remodeling from years ago. She smiled and said she remembered the converstation, and that Grandpa had enjoyed that new bathroom with its big Jacuzzi tub for a few years before he had a stroke at 103 and passed soon afterwards.

And money had little to do with this whole subject. Its not the getting of things that matters, its just the wanting. Wanting things means we are still able to look ahead to a future, even if its a short term future, and are not just ready to pack it all in and fade away.

Wanting things - I am 70 y.o. and wanted another Harley, so I bought a used one. It is a great motorcycle, but now I no longer want it. Just not as fun as it used to be. Plus too many cars that don't seem to see you on the road and they would just rather run you over! Harley for sale!