Gotta 'luv' college football.........

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Joined
Dec 11, 2002
Messages
7,939
Location
Ohio , U.S.A.
Equal opportunity insults…………. :roll:




Are you ready for some football? Let's all enjoy the season.

College Football Season Is Here!

Ohio State's
Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of
the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know
the meaning of a lot of words."
___________________________________________

Why
do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go
hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________

What
does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
___________________________________________

How
many Michigan freshmen football
players does it take to change a light bulb?

None.
That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

How
did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk?

The
cow fell on him.
___________________________________________

Two
Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods.

One
of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

The
other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________

What
do you say to a Michigan State University football
player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

"Will
the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________

If
three Florida State football
players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.
___________________________________________

How
can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend?

There's
tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________

What
do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

A
full set of teeth.
___________________________________________

University of Michigan
Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;

the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________

How
is the Kansas football team like an opossum?

They
play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________

Why
did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

He
saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________

How
do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

Pay
him for the pizza.

8)
 

FastEd

Hunter
Joined
Jun 13, 2008
Messages
2,244
Location
RIVERSIDE, OH, Home of the Air Force Museum
Then we got a thang called Texas Aggie Jokes:

How many Texas Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?" The bartender says, "Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you -- they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side -- they're Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?"
The guy thinks for a second. "I guess not," he said. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
 

Bkat

Blackhawk
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
577
Location
Spring, Texas
True story:

I think it was back in the 70s or 80s after the University of Houston had been admitted to the then Southwest Conference. They won the conference championship for the first time and got the automatic invite to the Cotton Bowl in Dallas that went to the conference champ. The Cotton Bowl chairman was being interviewed by a reporter who asked him if that would mean a big economic boost to Dallas, what with all the UH students and alumni coming to town for the game. He responded, "Are you kidding? Half of them will be eating at the 7-11 while the other half are holding it up."

I don't think he ever apologized for the remark.

Bkat
 

opos

Buckeye
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
1,147
Location
Where the debris meets the sea
Young man (then...in the late 60's/early 70's) sort of "grew up" in our house in the L.A. area....nice young man...best friend of my youngest son...went on to play football at Cal...had a little "5 minutes of fame" in his life that still gets rerun over and over...his name is Kevin Moen and he was the "star" of the most spectacular "play" in college football then or perhaps ever...it's the one where Cal and Stanford were playing..Elway was Quarterback for Stanford..last play of the game...ball get's fumbled...Cal recoves.. laterals off...the ball get's lateraled and handed off about 6 or 8 times..Kev get's the ball at the end and scores the winning touchdown and darn near kills a trombone player...the Stanford band had already started to come onto the field thinking the game was over...There is a flattened trombone in the display case somewhere on the Stanford grounds as a reminder of that day...Kev was best man at my Son's wedding and he was the star of the proceedings when folks found out who he was...I think everyone saw that play at one time or another.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfebpLfAt8g

Another college football tale is of the Nebraska win over Oklahoma in 1959...Big 10 rivalry that was really something...impossible for Nebraska to beat OU but they did...my Cousin married a guy that was a lineman for the Nebraska team that year..name is John Ponseigo...the players (that are still alive) all still get together every year to celebrate that win...it had the whole state of Nebraska in a real spin for a very long time...NU is pretty strong these days but was not much of a team back then.
http://www.huskers.com/ViewArticle.dbml?ATCLID=204826897
 

Colonialgirl

Hawkeye
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
7,887
Location
Wesley Chapel, Florida
1959 Orange Bowl;
OU managed to whip Syracuse without the services of their STAR full back; He got suspended by the coach for some reason that now escapes my memory. What's really funny is that he was a star player at my High School when he was a senior.
I was there at the game because the B'ville Band had marched in the Orange Bowl Parade and had put on a marching performance at the field the night before. We had seats at in one of the end zones for the game.
I played French Horn Band and Orchestra.
 

RonSwanson

Bearcat
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
92
My daughter was a hit and run victim when she was age 21. She suffered a traumatic brain injury and remains very impaired to this day. She walks with a walker most of the time and her speech is slurred, and she has cognitive problems, but she is Miss Personality and never met a stranger.
I used to take her with me to a men's church breakfast at the Springville Diner every Tuesday morning.
Being a lifelong Auburn fan, she struck up a friendly rivalry with a small group of retired Alabama fans who were also there each Tuesday. One day, one of the old guys said to her, "Kim, you ought to come on over and be an Alabama fan. We would let you cross over." She smiled pityingly at him and said, "Honey, I don't have that much brain damage!"
 

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