Hey Pro_Angler, welcome, no need to post the same stuff in a handful of threads man. The SR9 can have some issues, mainly the peening and trigger reset problem. BUT those problems aren't as frequent as the internet makes them seem. Any other issues are more sporadic if anything. It's a good gun, but just make sure she can rack the slide. Most women can have some trouble with the strong lockup and stiff spring of the SR9. I haven't been able to shoot my SR9 as much as I'd like, but it's still 100% reliable, zero flaws or failures to report. Many other SR9 owners can report the same thing as I have. $480 is pretty high though, locally at Academy here in TX a Stainless SR9 runs about $450, I paid $433 OTD a while back.
I know a few people who like their XD's and XDm's, though I haven't shot one. I like the way the XDm looks but the XD feels better to me. For ergonomics though the SR9 gets the nod IMO. Good luck with the search, a good revolver wouldn't hurt either, several members here can give better advice on them as I'm no wheelgun guy.
Josh