Daughters . . . . . Sigh

[Pat-inCO]

Daughters . . . . . . . Ya gotta love 'em, but they can drive you crazy.

My daughter wants me to set up a server for her business. Sounds simple,
but she can not really define what she wants it to do. OK, then is it for this,
or for that, or what do you want it to add to/for your business?

Turns out that she has discovered that Winderz/Cloud combination is
costing her a LOT of time and effort. Not to mention the problems with
on site archiving. (shaking head)

This morning I asked how much she wants to pay (actually I asked what
her budget was for it), showing that one could be built {with new hardware}
for $250 for E-mail, to a ground pounder that would almost move the
Earth for around $7K. (no response . . . so far).



Daughters can be a real joy, but . . . . .
Now I'm waiting for my Grand Daughter to start her own business. :roll:

 

[Conservative]

Pat-inCO,

I completely understand.

I've bailed my own (more than once - she'll be 50 soon) out for her financial missteps.

Financial missteps is a euphemism for over extending herself financially well into the thousands by using her credit cards as if they didn't have to be paid.

Yep, Dads are suckers.

Last time it happened, I told her never, ever again would I bail her out. If she had to go to prison for her debt, I wouldn't help with her financial screw ups.

It's now been well over 5 years with her not asking me to help. Given her track record, I expect the day will come and she'll have her hand out with: Do you want me to go to jail? Answer: YES! If you deserve to...tough love really is tough...

If she gets in financial trouble for the umpteenth time it's on her.

Yes, I love her. She's my daughter, but my days of being treating like I'm guilty of not loving her if I don't pay her debts are long over.

Maybe jail or prison will teach her not to be money irresponsible (if it comes to that) and if it does then so be it...

 

[SR1911SHOOTER]

Never understand 'em, gotta love 'em!
Blackie

 

[caryc]

Pat-inCO,

I completely understand.

I've bailed my own (more than once - she'll be 50 soon) out for her financial missteps.

Financial missteps is a euphemism for over extending herself financially well into the thousands by using her credit cards as if they didn't have to be paid.

Yep, Dads are suckers.

Last time it happened, I told her never, ever again would I bail her out. If she had to go to prison for her debt, I wouldn't help with her financial screw ups.

It's now been well over 5 years with her not asking me to help. Given her track record, I expect the day will come and she'll have her hand out with: Do you want me to go to jail? Answer: YES! If you deserve to...tough love really is tough...

If she gets in financial trouble for the umpteenth time it's on her.

Yes, I love her. She's my daughter, but my days of being treating like I'm guilty of not loving her if I don't pay her debts are long over.

Maybe jail or prison will teach her not to be money irresponsible (if it comes to that) and if it does then so be it...

No more debtors prisons in this country.

 

[Pat-inCO]

I completely understand.
I've bailed my own (more than once - she'll be 50 soon) out for her financial missteps.

Well . . . I think I may have left you with the wrong impression.

It's not that she is short on money, but that she has not researched the
things she needs, as well as she needs to. She got one new job after
getting her degree in business, and doing that while having two teenagers
at home (single mom). She managed to graduate with honors, which
got multiple new employers interested. She changed employers with a
40% increase. After a year there, she decided to change work places
and one of here customers (telecommunications) suggested she start
her own company. She did and thus far (approaching two years now)
has been making more than twice what she was before. Money is not
her problem. Overall planning is what sometimes kicks her in the shin.

The other problem is that, to her, a computer is a tool, much like a
wrench is to a mechanic, and nothing more. (lotta lotta people like that)
It's when she wants it to do more for her that I end up in the mix.

I have been after her to improve her long range planning for quite a while.
Hopefully she will continue to improve (she is doing better than she was).

Like I told her, I'm not conversant in server speak, so I will be learning more
than she will about them. I see no reason for her to learn how to configure
a server, just to be able to take advantage of one. 8)

My son is the one that keeps looking to Dad for money. And guess what
he hears at least nine out of ten times . . . nope. He takes after his mother
who just went through her FIFTH bankruptcy.
(didn't realize for the first year, what a favor she did me by divorcing me)

Compared to my Ex and my son, my daughter is a Gem!

 

[pete44ru]

.

I've been lucky, my two daughters (now 41 & 49) have never given us any real trouble (besides regular "kid's" shenanagin's) - and now, I have three fine Grandsons (26, 5 & 2 years old) between the two of them.

Funny though - both my Sons-in-law carry the same first name (David).

.

 

[Conservative]

Pat-inCO,

I understood your post, I was just generalizing about my own daughter.

 

[Gutshot]

Have 4 daughters myself, they made me fat, bald and broke before my time and I would not trade a single moment of time that I have spent raising them.

Jeff

 

[Heliman]

I have 3 brothers, 2 Sons, and 1 Grandson. I envy those of you that have daughters. Not to say I would change things, but would have loved the experience. Daughters I know seem to be closer to their fathers than sons are. Enjoy them!

Dave

 

[vito]

For me its not the daughters, but the sons. My two daughters are both wonderful, mature and responsible women and have never, ever given me a moment of grief, even when they were kids. Each has 3 kids, a great husband and never cause me to lose a bit of sleep. My sons, on the other hand, while all good caring and responsible men, have caused me many a restless night. My oldest is 48 and for most of his adult life he was doing well, had a lovely wife and two daughters, and then a few years ago the bottom fell out of his world. In rapid succession he wife decided she was leaving, and the company he worked for went belly up. He's been through several jobs and the latest let me go a few months ago in a big corporate shakeup, but because he was only there less than a year his severance package was bare minimal. The divorce plus having both daughters in college left him with almost nothing, and now without a job he is floundering to the point that I worry about depression and worse. We have offered for him to come here and live without cost until he can get his life back in gear, but at his age he feels that would mean surrendering to total failure in his life so I doubt he will take us up on the offer. I have never had to worry about any of my kids as much as I am worrying right now for my oldest. And my youngest son, while doing sort of OK, went through several years with trouble with the law that was more than just worrisome for his Mom and I . Now he's just struggling financially, and we help out as much as we can because we fear the impact on his son, our youngest grandson who is only 18 months but has totally taken over my heart.

So for me the girls have been just a blessing and a joy, and the boys have been a bit of joy, and a boatload of worry and aggravation.

 

[Conservative]

Vito,

I'm really saddened by your son's situation.

Life at times can be brutal.

Please, keep talking positively to him as I'm sure you will.

 

[Selena]

Hmm, my Dad has three daughters and one son. The latter has given him more grief than the former in my humble estimation. At least he only had one child that he had to pull a vehicle out of the Iroquois River... hint, it was not my sisters or I.

 

[opos]

I think I'm probably the luckiest man on the face of the earth...got 3 grown kids (60, 58 and 56), 4 Grand kids (and spouses mixed in) and 3 Great Grand kids....I'm 80 and married to a wonderful woman (just passed 38 years together)..so how can anything be bad?? My life before 1981 was a disaster..just leave it at that...the wonderful woman I'm married to is my 3rd wife (the other 2 are great gals..it's my deal that was bad).

My kids and I "healed" from their early days when Dad was not a Dad but a monster fueled by alcohol. They are all successful in their chosen fields and none of them have come to me for anything except on a rare occasion and then it was usually to help them with one of their kids, etc..

My Daughter is a really accomplished florist...she raised her son after her husband moved on and left her alone...she worked at a hard job but got it done...then when her son was grown she decided to pursue a life long dream...she attended high end schools and worked as a florist assistant in a high end floral business...she has just finished her 12th year with her own floral business....highly successful...and then last night the call came

She was pretty upset and said her big walk in cooler that she had bought when she started her business (and kept running with repairs) had finally just died...she said it can't be repaired any more and with Mothers Day not far off she has made arrangements with her wholesale supplier to rent space in one of their huge walk ins...but she is facing a $10,000 cooler replacement..also her delivery van is getting to the repair a lot stage....she said she knows I'm older and she doesn't want to jeopardize anything with me but do I have any ideas how she should go financially...she's lived a very nice while modest life...having her great business....I said to let me call her back today.

I called her this morning after dropping a check for $10K in the postal outside delivery and told her to enjoy her day...And what a wonderful feeling to be able to just "cover her back" when she came to dad...the wild old drunken sot of her past..and ask for advice..not money.....I have been able to pick up pieces and be of help in places where I had no idea I'd ever be able...but this was the first real big deal with one of my kids...I called the 2 boys and told them what was going on and if they need anything I'd be more than happy to "even things up"..they both said they knew of her problems and had already discussed putting together a 'group buy" on her cooler with them and me....and they were thrilled that things worked out like they did and no "getting even " would ever be necessary...

I'm the luckiest man on the face of the earth..sort of like the Phoenix bird rising from the ashes in to a beautiful life....I consider it a very rare priviledge to be asked to help...something I'd never fuss about today...I only hope and wish other parents could have the same experience and hope I get the chance again.

Happy Sunday

 

[SR1911SHOOTER]

Daughters?
Got 6 of them, Ya gotta love them. Wanna see my grey bald head?
Blackie

 

[Pat-inCO]

I decided to build a web page for her and to include all of what I knew and
what I understood from her. Turned out to be a good idea. I sent her a link
and a blind CC to her husband. Got a reply from him of "WOW! THAT IS
GREAT!" It also go her to thinking of details and we eliminated the need
for hardware. She has a "to-do" list of things that she is working on. In the
mean time, Dad decided to start in a web page for her business. OUCH!

I had to learn more about jpg image manipulation than I wanted to know.
I have it posted in a subdirectory of my page, in an area that is password
protected. Figure if I don't, she will get upset, since she has not yet
approved the initial design (it IS her business, so I'm happy).

Golly-Gee-Whiz! Get it all written down and things start going more like
you would hope for.

Daughters CAN be fun to do things for.