Army humor

[Bob Wright]

This story circulated when I was in the Army, around 1956 or so. May not sound familiar to current soldiers.

I was finishing up basic training at Fort Hood, Texas. We had qualified wit the M-1 Rifle and the BAR and M-2 Carbines. We were allowed to go the the picture show at the base theater. There was a murder mystery playing. In the scene, a woman has just shot a man who was threatening her. She stood the frozen, the asked:

I've shot him! What shall I do!"

A voice in the the audience called out, "Pick up your brass and move back to the three hundred yard line!"

Bob Wright

 

[James (CA)]

I was at "Fort Polk" in 1956

 

[James (CA)]

[H1]Fort Hood Is Getting a New Name in May[/H1]

Fort named after Confederate general is becoming Fort Cavazos

(woke story about why it "must" be done.
https://www.newser.com/story/333242/fort-hood-is-getting-a-new-name-in-may.html

 

[oliver507]

I was in elementary school in 1956 LOL!

 

[Snake45]

Bob, that story's in one of Jeff Cooper's books, told as happening at a USMC base circa WWII.

I'll bet it happened more than once.

 

[James (CA)]

"I was in elementary school in 1956 LOL!"

I have you beat,...... "I was born at Fort Polk in 1956"

LOL

My father was stationed there.

 

[KIR]

Lots of military stories forthcoming. Here is one of mine.
B-52 bomber crew came out one morning to check on their alert aircraft. One of the crew members, a shavetail, was walking around for a visual inspection when he was standing at the tail end of the plane. Suddenly, the radar controlled, four .50 cal. tail guns turned on and pointed right at his belt buckle. He froze and called for help. One of the other crew members had turned on the guns to check them. You can use your imagination as to what happened next. No, he didn't get shot, but so embarassed, he might have wished he had.

 

[Fox Mike]

Each year our Nike Hercules Battery would travel to McGreger Range NM for live fire exercises. If, for whatever reason, the Missile Tracking Radar lost control or the missile did not properly obey commands the Officer in charge called "Fail Safe" and detonated the 'moon shot' as it would be called. LT Simms,the firing officer that day had this happen, but became rather flustered, and called out loudly "Sail Face, Sail Face, Sail Face" (yep, 3 times). The detonation occurred as designed but the LT was forever know as Lt Sail Face.

 

[Johnny-Baseball]

Our first detachment commander on Mindanao (AF captain) was 3 months away from PCS'ing back to the US to get married and attend pilot training.

So he decided to get circumcised early enough to heal up before he deployed. BUT...he kept hooking up with a local chick from the Del Monte pineapple plantation and ripping out his surgical repair.

He walked around bowlegged for almost a month, making all of us lowlife airmen howl.

We called his pineapple honey "Chicken Delight." You know...don't eat tonight, call Chicken Delight.

We really liked him, and he returned the favor on many occasions. One of my better det commanders.

 

[Ordguy]

I was at "Fort Polk" in 1956

Ft Polk will soon be Ft Johnson, for Sgt Johnson who won the Medal of Honor WWI

I've been at Polk since late 1991. Not from here, no place in particular to go.

 

[Bob Wright]

Lots of military stories forthcoming. Here is one of mine.
B-52 bomber crew came out one morning to check on their alert aircraft. One of the crew members, a shavetail, was walking around for a visual inspection when he was standing at the tail end of the plane. Suddenly, the radar controlled, four .50 cal. tail guns turned on and pointed right at his belt buckle. He froze and called for help. One of the other crew members had turned on the guns to check them. You can use your imagination as to what happened next. No, he didn't get shot, but so embarassed, he might have wished he had.

Now that goes way back when B-52s had guns in the tail.

Bob Wright

 

[akbluz]

In the late-1940s I had 2 uncles stationed at Camp Polk before it was renamed Fort Polk.

 

[Bob Wright]

O.K. I'll add another one.

In basic training we were being instructed on the "light" machine gun, M1919A4 and -A6. There came up the subject of a run away gun, in which the barrel heated up enough to "cook off" chambered rounds and would continue firing even after the trigger was released.

So the question, "What do you do about a run away gun?"

The Old Sarge's answer: "Send the tripod after it. Its got three legs!"


Bob Wright

 

[Colonialgirl]

IN Korea, (38th Arty Bde (AD) ) commo we had and E-7 that gave us a lecture on "Military Appearance" the cuffs of his Class A uniform were dirty, the trouser cuffs were frayed and dirty and his shoes needed shining. While I was on leave (ranking E-4 in commo) he had a load of telephone lines moved and made NO RECORD of the changes. When he rotated back to the states, his rating document said "WORKS GOOD UNDER PROPER SUPERVISION"; That gave all of us in commo a good laugh !

 

[Bob Wright]

IN Korea, (38th Arty Bde (AD) ) commo we had and E-7 that gave us a lecture on "Military Appearance" the cuffs of his Class A uniform were dirty, the trouser cuffs were frayed and dirty and his shoes needed shining. While I was on leave (ranking E-4 in commo) he had a load of telephone lines moved and made NO RECORD of the changes. When he rotated back to the states, his rating document said "WORKS GOOD UNDER PROPER SUPERVISION"; That gave all of us in commo a good laugh !

You had Class "A" uniforms in Korea? Ours were left behind at Ft. Lewis. We were issued a set when on R&R.

Bob Wright

 

[Jeepnik]

Our first detachment commander on Mindanao (AF captain) was 3 months away from PCS'ing back to the US to get married and attend pilot training.

So he decided to get circumcised early enough to heal up before he deployed. BUT...he kept hooking up with a local chick from the Del Monte pineapple plantation and ripping out his surgical repair.

He walked around bowlegged for almost a month, making all of us lowlife airmen howl.

We called his pineapple honey "Chicken Delight." You know...don't eat tonight, call Chicken Delight.

We really liked him, and he returned the favor on many occasions. One of my better det commanders.

Did he make his PCD?

 

[Johnny-Baseball]

Did he make his PCD?

OK. I'll bite. What does PCD stand for?

I can't find it in my list of "military acronyms and abbreviations." https://www.allacronyms.com/PCD/military

 

[Colonialgirl]

You had Class "A" uniforms in Korea? Ours were left behind at Ft. Lewis. We were issued a set when on R&R.

Bob Wright

Served the 38th Arty Bde(AD) Bde HQ Btry in Commo on OSAN AFB, 67-68.

 

[Paul B]

"You had Class "A" uniforms in Korea? Ours were left behind at Ft. Lewis. We were issued a set when on R&R."

Yup! Osan AFB 1963-1964. Had to wear them off base certain times of the year. Wore 505s (kackies) during the late spring through early fall..
Paul B.

 

[bobsyouruncle]

Terminal lance