apologies to the lawyers :)

[Mega Twin]

This engineer died and arrived at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him over, looked through his resume and told him the bad news that he had been condemned to hell.

Arriving at hell, Satan was astonished. We have never had an engineer before. "Are you sure you are supposed to be here" he asked. When it was confirmed that he was in his proper place, Satan welcomed him to hell.

A couple weeks later, Satan's happened to see the engineer and asked how he liked hell. "It is hot" exclaimed the engineer.

"Of course it's hot; it is hell" answered Satan.

The engineer countered " You know, I was an engineer all my life. I think I could design an air conditioning system to cool this place down".

"Really", replied Satan. "If you could do that, God knows that I have plenty of contractors in here. I could have the contractors install the AC system, if you can come up with a design.

A few days later, the engineer has the system designed. Satan has the unscrupulous contractors install the system and hell cools off.

Satan summons the engineer and asks what other things he could do to make hell more comfortable.

"Well", the engineer replies, "I really miss a nice shower. I could design a plumbing system".

Satan gives his approval, the system is designed, the contractors install the plumbing and hell has hot and cold running water.

A few days later God encounters Satan. "Wow are things down there" God asks, sneering ?

"Much better", Satan replies. "Since you sent us that engineer, he has designed an AC and plumbing system for us. The contractors you sent us have installed it and hell is much more tolerable".

"An engineer ?" God asks. "That has to be a mistake. You need to send him back immediately".

"No way", replied Satan. "You sent him and we are keeping him".

"Either you send him back to heaven or I will sue", replied God.

Satan thought about it for a minute, then his face lit up. "God, Where are you going to find a lawyer" ???

 

[contender]

 

[Kevin]

Good One!

 

[Jimbo357mag]

God needs to find a lawyer and a court.

 

[wwb]

A van carrying a half-dozen lawyers from a law firm were on their way to a meeting when the van went out of control, rolled several times, and ended up in a farmer's field. Coming across the scene of the crash as he was plowing the field, he decided the decent thing to do was bury them. He finished the field, went home, and called the sheriff to report the crash.

When the sheriff arrived, he asked "So they were all killed?"

"Well," said the farmer, "A couple of 'em said they weren't dead, but you know how them lawyers lie."

 

[Colonialgirl]

Both borrowed to be shared with others !!

 

[pawncop]

Lawyers have now replaced white mice in research labs. Three reasons.

1. There are now more lawyers than white mice.
2. The lab techs do not get as emotionally attached to the lawyers.
3. There are a few things the white mice won’t do.

 

[Rick Courtright]

Hi,

What's that old adage?

Oh, yeah, "98% of all lawyers give the other 2% a bad name!"

Rick C