Much of my 'social interaction' went away as I lost my hearing. Now nearly deaf even with hearing aids I don't do well in noisy, group settings or phone conversations. My audiologist commented that I've 'self taught' to read lips and facial expressions over the years. My biggest problem is having to devote so much of my dwindling mental capacity to just trying to understand what's being said that I often lose track of other things. Often, I just get tired of constantly trying to follow conversations resulting in my pulling back for social interactions.
A question for the more mature (older) members.
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JackBull
Hunter
Most people suck. I keep touch with close friends and family.
The word "mature" makes me wonder if I should answer. I have years on the planet but not very mature. I am 74 and in pretty good health. (Doc still marvels that all the blood work is spot on). I spent 50 years in banking mostly business development, sales if you will) and commercial lending. The little community bank I was with was bought about 6 years ago and the canned all the lending staff. Had this not happened, I would still be there. The autonomy, fellow employees (for the most part). and the ability to actually try to help people and not put them in boxes was fun for me. Having an expense account was not bad either. I had on really close friend, but he is gone now and haven't been able to develop another friendship like that. Relationships from church are great. Wife has numerous physical problems and doesn't feel like getting out much.
I think a lot of it is how you are made. My brother was an electrical engineer and a solitary type. He does well without a lot of outside the immediate family contacts. I tend to like people and tolerate all but the stupidest quite well. I even miss Bear biologists comments. But that is another story.
I think a lot of it is how you are made. My brother was an electrical engineer and a solitary type. He does well without a lot of outside the immediate family contacts. I tend to like people and tolerate all but the stupidest quite well. I even miss Bear biologists comments. But that is another story.
I'll just quote Mark Twain: The more I'm around people the more I appreciate my dogs. I found this to be very true.
I will be 75 soon. Retired almost 9 yrs. ago and moved from Upstate NY to Fl. (that is where the wife wanted to go). Closest gun club that shoots trap is 21 miles and it take close to an hour to get there. I shoot and then talk with the guys for an hour or 2 then go home. I dealt with the public for 36 yrs. of self employment and don't miss 95% of them. Now I enjoy doing what I want when I want. We go out a couple times a week and have an adult beverage and look out over the water. One place you are sitting about 15' from the Gulf of America. I am pretty healthy. Miss deer and turkey hunting in NY but that is about all I miss except the 5 gun clubs with skeet and trap that were all less than 10 miles from me.
@turd i was raised in the country riding horses , tending cattle , building fence , cleaning barn floors ,feeding ,gathering eggs, bailing hay, and going to church . Heck I never have related to youngsters. I am 53 and wife says I act 80 , I find it hard to carry on for more than a minute or two with someone younger. However socializing is good a little in moderation keeps the mind sharp.For me, the older I get (73) the less I care about the things most youngsters (less than 60) talk about. I realized a few years back that I can tell a lot of stories about things that have happened to me, and I also realized (thankfully) that most people don't care to hear my stories. Bless my wife for putting up with me, but I think I am becoming an old codger - someone you like to know, but not listen to.I find I can spend whole days alone and I enjoy that, just me and the Lord. He doesn't seem to mind listening to an old guy whilst I love talking to Him and thanking Him over and over for my reasonably long and healthy and productive life. I was a consultant for many years and I got real tired of solving other people's challenges. So being alone is good with me, although I can still converse when in company.
I have
Like many here, when I was a teenager I had a large group of friends, not just acquaintances but friends that I enjoyed being with. As I got older the circle of friends became smaller, and less intense as family time and work consumed most of my waking hours. By the time I retired at age 70, my kids were grown and gone, and my last 17 years of work were very time intensive, so that outside friends sort of fell by the wayside. The few good friends that I had have since passed on. Even my motorcycle "friends" are gone, due to age and medical issues, so that now I am the last one still riding, and do so alone. So at almost 82 I find myself pretty much on my own other than some time spent with my grown kids and my wife (who busies herself endlessly in her sewing room working on an endless number of quilts).
I also do some volunteer work, visiting fellow military veterans who are receiving hospice care. I thought that maybe my fellow volunteers would become more like friends but that has not happened, in part because there are none of them that I really want to spend time with other than a bit of casual conversation when all of the volunteers meet together. Sometimes I wish I had been better at keeping in touch with the friends that I grew up with, but that ship has long ago sailed and I can't go back. So I am moderately OK spending most of my days by myself and often the only person I even talk with most days is my wife of 59 years. I take rides on my motorcycle, go to the indoor pistol club to waste some ammunition, that I am a member of, watch a fair amount of TV, and pass the days.
FWIW, I'm starting to see the same situation that I observed with my Mom. She outlived all of her six siblings, and all of her lifelong friends. She was still active into her mid to late 90's, only giving up driving at 97 when she feared that she might be a danger to others. She often lamented that maybe she had lived too long, and that all the people that she had enjoyed being with, other than her three children, were now dead and gone. I just try to make the best of things, recognizing that I think it is still better to be the last one around of a old group of friends than it would be to be one of those already gone.
I also do some volunteer work, visiting fellow military veterans who are receiving hospice care. I thought that maybe my fellow volunteers would become more like friends but that has not happened, in part because there are none of them that I really want to spend time with other than a bit of casual conversation when all of the volunteers meet together. Sometimes I wish I had been better at keeping in touch with the friends that I grew up with, but that ship has long ago sailed and I can't go back. So I am moderately OK spending most of my days by myself and often the only person I even talk with most days is my wife of 59 years. I take rides on my motorcycle, go to the indoor pistol club to waste some ammunition, that I am a member of, watch a fair amount of TV, and pass the days.
FWIW, I'm starting to see the same situation that I observed with my Mom. She outlived all of her six siblings, and all of her lifelong friends. She was still active into her mid to late 90's, only giving up driving at 97 when she feared that she might be a danger to others. She often lamented that maybe she had lived too long, and that all the people that she had enjoyed being with, other than her three children, were now dead and gone. I just try to make the best of things, recognizing that I think it is still better to be the last one around of a old group of friends than it would be to be one of those already gone.
Skeet 028
Single-Sixer
As a kid I was a loner...gone from home at light. Get home at dark. Had a 24 foot boat at 10..workboat though..U frew ip on the rivers and wiids of the Eastern Shore of MD. I did kid stuff. Played ball...prifessionally in fact for a short time. TRetired from my job at 47...and didn't miss it at all. Moved here to Wy 20 some years ago...Only missed and still do my few very good friends from back east. Live on a small ranch at the end of the road and it is a quiet place to be...at 77
Lt92
Single-Sixer
A tecent study revealed a ' lack' of social interaction shortens the lives of seniors over 70...whereas those involved with: church, book clubs, boys night out, volunteering at local charities etc are Vitally important for our health. Im a geezer like U and my life is busier now than when i worked a reg job...but YMMV
My avatar is one of my favorite spots, Beaver Beach I call it. After a day mowing the yard and that "stuff", I'll sit there and watch the birds and the fish or the squirrels. Once in a while a car will drive by out on the road and I can barely see it from there.
I don't mind "talking about it" once in a while BUT the birds, the beavers, fish, animals don't lie every other word. They don't make up pure BS just to have something to say or peck away about on a computer. I don't tolerate liars, cheats, shirkers, BS who just READ about something one day and start SPOUTING it the next like they are a "professor" or "Doctor of BS".
I don't mind "talking about it" once in a while BUT the birds, the beavers, fish, animals don't lie every other word. They don't make up pure BS just to have something to say or peck away about on a computer. I don't tolerate liars, cheats, shirkers, BS who just READ about something one day and start SPOUTING it the next like they are a "professor" or "Doctor of BS".
Dr I. Yankum DDS
Bearcat
I'm 68 years old right now and as I've gotten older I find myself being less tolerant to large crowds of people and noisy environments. I've gone to the point that when my wife and I go to a restaurant and they're going to sit us next to a table that has a bunch of rowdy kids I ask for a different table. Also, the latest fad around this area which happens to be Southwest Florida is when people bring dogs into restaurants. Even though they have a fake service dog vest on them which you can buy on eBay for $12 you can tell that the animal is far from being a service dog by it's behavior. Last week the wife and I was having dinner at an Italian restaurant and the party a few tables down from us had a small breed dog that defecated on the floor and it stunk up the whole place. There's a place and time for everything but certainly dogs should not be inside restaurants unless it's legitimately a service dog like a seing eye dog like I used to see years ago when I was a kid.
After a similar career in Sales/Marketing/ Management, one of the greatest joys of retirement is not talking on the phone. Especially since 20 of those years was with the phone company. Extra important today since 80% of my incoming calls are SPAM. I'll be 80 next month.
I am at that stage I am 70 very healthy except for my hearing it sucks been wearing hearing aids for 10 years the ones I have suck so bad I don't wear them so I am in the process of testing and maybe implants or new aids we shall see . Life had been pretty good to us we are happy I don't do much without my wife we travel and run about town doing stuff together other than that I like my alone time I shoot by myself BS all day day with guys at the range . I do have one high school friend I still do stuff with every once in a while not much I like my alone time
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I agree. I just love it when I run into a old friend from work while I'm out shopping and we can spend 15-20 minutes just catching up. However, I also have friends who will gather at McDonald's or somewhere for coffee for several hours every week, I've just not been into that. Now this forum is something else, again, you are controlling who you visit with.
Agreed! I have always had dogs. My last, "Buster", a pure bred American Pitbull Terrier, passed 2 yrs and a week ago. I talked to him more than my Wife or small list of friends. I miss him terribly at times. I was intending to wait until I retired to get another dog. As long as I'm working there would be nobody at home during the day to address the needs of puppy or younger dog. My Wife is a retired Animal Control/Cruelty Investigator. She works at the Animal Research center near the Animal Control/Shelter building and keeps in touch with the staff and officers. She always sends me pics of dogs on the adoption list. Too young, too needy. But this past week she showed me a pic of a dog that was a "senior". Poor guy has been in the shelter for over 3 years of his 8 yr life. He's a Pitbull mix, but he looks pure, aside from his ears....Boston Terrier ears. My Wife set up a meet and greet with him this past SAT......that dog and I were meant to be with each other. We bring him home this FRI and I can't wait. Perfect situation. He's trained very well, and likes to be a couch potato all day. So his last few years will not be in a cinder block cell like a prisoner. Nobody wanted him because of his age, and his poor vision. Other than that he's healthier than me. We will take care of each other....I won't mind socializing with him at all.
This has been one of the more interesting threads I've read on the forum. A lot of honest answers to the question and a lot of variety as well. I believe I could sum it up by saying a lot of us have outlived their closest friends or lost contact and we don't have the energy or desire to take up new friends. We wake up and get around when we want to. We go to bed when we want to and if we leave the house for an outdoor activity, we decide when and where it's going to be. I guess we are getting to be a bunch of old Curmudgeons!
It is Perfect
Am over 80 and have retired at 65 and wish I could have retired earlier. Thats what I tell everyone that asks. Retire as early as you can. Besides guns and fixing them, I usually have some project to do every day. I exercise every morning and sometimes sit out on my front porch for a half hour or 1 hour, just taking in what all the neighbors are doing. I love it here in SC.
Excellent! I volunteer at our local shelter as a dog walker. When people come in looking for a dog to adopt they invariably head for the puppies. I like to remind them that the "senior dogs" make very good pets. Most of their bad habits have been dealt with and they are so very appreciative of a forever home to live out their golden years. At our age a senior dog may outlive some of us.Ya done good.
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